The Sunday Supplement

It has been another interesting week both on the park and off it, especially in The Blue Room. The source of the Watergate leak may not have had a head for figures, but that does not undermine the central premise of his thesis.There is something rotten in the state of Govania. Should Private Eye’s ‘Rotten Burroughs‘ team cast a withering glance at Glasgow City Council, they might raise the roofs on all manner of liquidity crises. All that was missing from a narrative that could run and run was the bent referee and layman adulterer, the reverend McCurry. Since Police Scotland are so keen on spurious conspiracy theories, would it not be a delicious irony if his parish church was the font of Watergate? As is more often the case than not, the less than transparent truth at Ibrox is stranger than fiction.

The highlight of this week was my exclusive on the Abuse of State Power and the £500,000 award to David Whitehouse and Paul Clark. Eight hours after I broke the story the online edition of The Scottish Sun chose to run with this narrative on their front page. This was second-hand news to the regular readers of this site. Police Scotland evidently thought that were engaging in a supermarket sweep when they ran amok in confidential client files that had no bearing on their Whyte omnishambles. Who will reprimand these modern-day keystone cops who have squandered millions in their pursuit of their Brigadoon of conspiracy theories?   DCI Robertson and his partisan team of Real Rangers Men did not have to try so hard to look stupid.

Yesterday’s article, Mind The Gap, was a critique of the UCL game in which Celtic hosted the fifth best team in the German Bundesliga. It was a tactical masterclass in the effective deployment of superior players. In Friday’s article, which was the first in what will be a regular series of Friday Chez Bears narratives, the delightful Bears dropped by. Teddy favoured us with his critique of the current Rangers team and predicted that they should prepare themselves for another nose in the dirt humiliation at Hampden today. I find it difficult to contradict his conclusions.

Joey Barton, having just checked his fixed odds football bets, settled down to an evening of light entertainment, only to find that his supper of humble pie was being served cold:

Mr Gough is one to watch. I trust he does not share the traits of his namesake Richard who has something of the night about him. The thought of Richard in the St. Vincent street toilets is enough to give one ‘The Willies‘ and not just at Halloween. How discreet of the SMSM, who all knew of Tricky’s nocturnal activities, to keep this matter under their sombrero so as not to jeopardize a lifetime supply of lamb burritos.

That was the week that was. Next week, as we anticipate Halloween, one should be suitably chilled by the return of the Ibrox nemesis:

“Paul, I can see your bouffant through the letter box. Now come out from behind the sofa and pay your taxes like a man!”

I predict a week of tricks and treats. Lady Bear is planning some Halloween games on Friday which will include ‘Dooking for apples‘ should the Ibrox water supply not be cut off and put a spanner in her apple bobbing tomfoolery. Who can resist her:

Image result for brendan Fraser and Liz as the devil
Lady Natasha Bear dressed as The Devil Incarnate is planning to make quite a splash at the John James Halloween Party.

Teddy, who picked up a pinata answering to the name of Craig, which was left behind by DCI Robertson in an illegal police raid on his Chalfont St. Giles estate, will brave his embarrassment and the elements to join in on the fancy dress fun:

Image result for images of Bedazzled

JJ will be dressed in the following attire, which in so many ways is apposite:

Image result for images of Michael Jackson's Thriller
The JJ Halloween ‘Raise The Dead’ Shuffle



If one wishes to read exclusives and not wait for the press to hold the criminals at Ibrox to account then please support this site via PayPal. I hope to procure another table for the FBA awards evening, but it will only go with a bang for my twenty guests, and many more virtual guests, if we bring home an award for us all to share.

One can vote on both Twitter:

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Mind The Gap

In Glasgow derby games of the past, the prevailing team was more often than not the one which wanted it most. The team with the most ‘bottle.’  In the  halcyon days of tax evasion and dual contracts, Rangers had the quality on the park that counted. When thoughts revert to tomorrow’s game it’s evident that Celtic have an inordinately superior side. The gap between Celtic and Rangers has grown into a chasm since a basket of assets was reconfigured by Charles Green. The renascent Rangers are a poor facsimile of the swaggering EBT juggernaut that broke all the rules with nonchalant impunity. The gap has been widening since 2011.

Celtic are a club playing at the top table. Their 3-3 draw with Manchester City raised eyebrows, none more so than those of Andre Schubert, the manager of BORUSSIA MÖNCHENGLADBACH. The game on Wednesday was won prior to a ball being kicked. The Germans, who had prevailed in two UEFA cups in their proud history, thought long and hard on how to neutralize the threat from Celtic. Schubert has a team of 3 assistant coaches and 12 scouts, with two of this group of fifteen dedicated to sourcing and coaching their four first team goalkeepers. They identified the threat from attacking midfielder Tom Rogic and closed him down. Within one second of a touch by Rogic, two defenders were on top of him so quickly that he did not have enough time to raise his head and pick a pass. Dembele was forced wide and not allowed to cut inside. Ditto Sinclair. Tierney was not allowed to provide width on the overlap and was forced back to cover a cute triangle of three players. Forrest continued to disappoint. If Rodgers thinks he can be developed into a poor man’s Raheem Sterling he should think again.

I fail to understand why Rodgers prefers Bitton to Armstrong. If the CFC manager had selected Armstrong and Roberts in his starting line-up, their link up play would have provided a threat and created space for Dembele and Sinclair. Griffiths was off the pace when he eventually entered the fray. In my opinion Brown and Toure were the pick of the Celtic team despite the latter’s mistakes costing Celtic the points. Having looked at the goal where he was dispossessed it seems to me that his boot was the last to touch the ball on its way to the net.

Rodgers called it correctly after the game. He put his hand up and admitted that Schubert’s team were the better side. They had better players on the park, such as Yann Sommer, their £8.5m keeper. Their first choice centre back team of Christensen (on loan from Chelsea) and Vestergaard  have a combined value of £20.4m. Their squad includes five other players at centre back with a combined value north of £15.5m. In the left back position they have two players with a cumulative value of £6.38m. Their right back is valued at just under £4m.

Schubert spent £12.65m acquiring their defensive midfield player Kramers from Bayern Leverkusen at the start of the season. They also strengthened this position in July by signing Strobl and Ndenge. Kramer is partnered by the £12.75m rated Dahood, with the £10.2m rated Thorgan Hazard playing on the tip of their diamond. On their flanks they have four players with a cumulative total value of slightly more than £22.5m. Their four forwards could command £26m if available, and with Brazilian Raffael available for the second leg the CFC defence are in for a torrid time.

The CFC supporters who were down on this site on Thursday morning were victims of their own expectations. They were buoyed by the City result and were heady with anticipation. The German team were efficient. They went about their business in a disciplined manner and duly secured the points to rejuvenate their bid for a last-16 place, with The Europa Cup as Plan B.

In many respects Borussia Monchengladbach are the team that CFC should emulate. If Rodgers was allowed to spend three seasons of CL receipts he could build a team in the image of Bundesliga’s fifth ranked club. A club that is in 39th position in World Football.

Celtic are ranked in 211th place in World Football. Tomorrow they face a team with a ranking of 665. Those who think Rangers have even a dog’s chance  should engage brain and think again. Rangers two marquee signings, namely Barton and Kranjcar, featured in the 5-1 defeat. They are both out tomorrow with the former unlikely to ever kick a ball in anger for Rangers; and the latter unlikely to do so for the remainder of this season. In their absence, Rangers are essentially the same Championship level team of last season. I remain to be convinced that Senderos & Hill are better than Kiernan and Wilson. Warburton sur-la-mer’s first choice of centre backs have the turning capabilities of crop circles and are so slow they could be booked for loitering. Joey Barton’s lousy performances in midfield should have resulted in an indictment for vagrancy.

Rodgers can freshen things up with Armstrong and Roberts. Warburton’s threadbare squad will be hard-pushed to sleep in fresh linen on their Auchenhowie day beds. Expectations are being managed by the Celtic camp, but it would not surprise me if Rangers shipped seven tomorrow with Warburton replacing his magic hat with a festive red bobble hat in his new position as a store Santa.

I signed S-form for one of the four Right Said Fred semi-finalists. Prior to my right ankle being smashed to pieces by a brutal tackle, and having to be rebuilt with the surgical equivalent of a Meccano kit, I had a bright future as an attacking left-sided midfield player. Scouts came from far and wide to watch the captain of  three teams play twice on a Saturday and once on a Sunday. After 90 minutes on the Sunday afternoon I joined my friends for an hour of 5-a-side at a local sports centre. Between both games on Saturday, I cycled three miles to assist my much beloved and sorely missed grandmother with her shopping. I still miss my Gran. She taught me so much about showing women and the elderly the respect they deserve. The next time readers find themselves passing an old widow or widower on the street, stop and make time for them. It may be their only human contact that day. Assist them with their shopping. Support their independence. Listen to the wisdom of their years. Adopt a pensioner. If you give of yourself now, you may set an example for the time when you will need a helping hand. The company of old people is its own reward.

My opinions may now be from the outside looking in, but it should be noted that at one time I had a place in the team bath. I was fortunate. I had achieved the Highers I required for university and to this day I continue to be baffled by quantitative methods proofs that can run to fifteen A4 pages. The Mathematics I was taught at university was a repeated exercise in overkill which had the relevance in my career of Ancient Greek. The Council of National Academic Awards approve degree courses that are in essence a ruse to give faculty members their tenure. The Maths Dons throw their mortar-board hats into the ring of so many prospective courses that they are bound to pick up a beautiful Oxford townhouse and £50,000 per annum for life. As they only teach ten hours per week they have plenty of time to write text books to fill impressionable young heads with the calculus that they will never use. Once one has mastered arithmetic, I would advise students to turn their backs on all mathematics-themed tomes except Isaac Newton’s groundbreaking  Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica which was published in July 1687.

I beg the indulgence of readers for my digression. If every cloud has a silver lining, tomorrow will at the very least provide Rangers with their first sight this season of their new home. No-one is in any doubt that Rangers must relocate. The connectors have fractured. Three roofs are currently being suspended by metal coat hangers that should be more suitably deployed to create Blue Peter Advent decorations, and not hold 50,000 lives in the balance. Are Glasgow City Council going to sit on their hands until the levee breaks? Are they bucking for sinecures at the SFA?

Meanwhile Watergate threatens to erupt like an Icelandic geyser. National treasures, Dave King and The Hun-Loving Criminals, are doing their best to stem the flood but their offer for the Thames Barrier, as and was the case with their offer for leasing Hampden, was decidedly short of the mark. King, who lies to himself just to keep his hand in, is thinking about a new revenue stream:


If one wishes to read exclusives and not wait for the press to hold the criminals at Ibrox to account then please support this site via PayPal. I hope to procure another table for the FBA awards evening, but it will only go with a bang for my twenty guests, and many more virtual guests, if we bring home an award for us all to share.

One can vote on both Twitter:

and the FBA website

Dear JJ: Is there life on Mars?

Dear JJ,

A fabulous good morning to you from St. Giles in the fall. Natasha is at the Aga baking up some pure filth in the kitchen, her cheeks as flushed as the blush on our end of season Pink Lady apples. There is a spring in my step and a melody in my heart which I attribute to early morning sexual intercourse: the breakfast of champions. However I’m not writing to regale you with how, to use the Glasgow vernacular, I had my ‘Nat King‘ this morning, but to pick your brains on Sunday’s Old Firm derby at Hampden. Lady Bear and I will not be present but will be watching on an app on Lady Bear’s IPhone 7. We have a christening to attend at a West End Anglican church, St.Giles in the Fields, so we are somewhat cup-tied as it were.

As it will be a typically dry affair until we wet the baby’s head at the Lamb & Flag in Covent Garden, which does not open until noon, I will steel my resolve with a hip-flask of single malt which will be secreted in my sporran. This bar has a good claim as Covent Garden’s most historic watering hole, and retains much of its traditional charm. Tucked down an alleyway – which was once notorious as the site of bare-knuckle fighting – this is an enormously popular pub, where drinkers have included Dickens, and the 17th-century poet John Dryden. I have a 25 year old Macallan, which matured in a sherry cask, to take for a test drive, so a spot of Sunday driving should go swimmingly. Which reminds me: have you heard any more about the Auchenhowie hydrotherapy pool being declared for water rating purposes as a church font? Every little helps. I can discern Sacha Distel performing Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head on Lady Bear’s kitchen DAB radio, which is somewhat apposite if Rangers have been caught short on £2m of water charges. How remiss of them!

Is there any news on cousin Joey, or is he as quiet as the Schiaparelli on Mars? Warburton sur-la-mer, who puts the clueless in country, will be expected to do better in Sunday’s semi-final of the Right Said Fred Cup.Scott Brown, who described Joey’s Celtic Park performance as akin to that of a chocolate shinguard, should be given a stiffer midfield test than Going for a Burton, who was in Brown’s hip pocket imitating a hemorrhoid for the entire game. A head to head, a tale of the tape if you will, might be instructive:

Wes Foderingham, at 25, is only valued at £213k and despite his illusions of grandeur he has not been called up to any England squad. He blames this on a mast outage at Auchenhowie. Craig Gordon, at 33, is a safer pair of hands and this is reflected in his value of £1.28m, which is a cool million more than his Rangers counterpart.


A centre half pairing of Senderos and Hill, who have a combined age which would require their reapplication for a UK driving licence, are valued at £765k and £425k respectively. When compared with Sviatchenko and Toure, valued at £2.13m and £1.7m, it’s another two ticks in the box for the green machine.
This situation does not improve at full back. Tavernier was offered as a makeweight in so many close season deals that there were some suggesting his geneaology could be linked to the Avery family. He is overvalued at £340k. Lee Wallace is a shade more than twice as valuable at £723k, but they pale to insignificance when compared to Gamboa/Lustig and Tierney, who add two more ticks to the CFC scoresheet.


Halliday & Holt can both be purchased for £500k with change back. Scott Brown and Nir Bitton are nine times more valuable at £4.5m. I cordially invite you to do the math, JJ.

Is it just me, or does Waghorn look like he is spending too much time in his local Greggs? Paul Murray should have worn a mask when attempting to ship this £625k player for £1.5m in the close season. Splat, there goes the water bill. I would take Kenny Miller using Clint Hill’s walking frame on any given Sunday. Incredibly Barrie Mackay at £149k is only worth 11% of Niko ‘My Street Car has No Desire.’

CFC are spoiled for choice with Moussa Dembélé at £2.55, Scott Sinclair at £2.98m, Patrick Roberts at £4.25m and Lee Griffiths at £1.7m.


Craig Thomson: one can but hope that he’s on a promise with the bar maid at his local orange hall. Was Mason Muir not available?

As you can see JJ, it does not look good on paper. I wonder what odds Joey Barton is offering on a Celtic win? Will they be as short as his tenure at Ibrox at 11/85 on?

Image result for funny images of Joey Barton

Lady Bear sends her love and a bakwell tart for sustenance. She has popped a little something in your PayPal account for purely medicinal purposes. Do you approve of her new scent, ‘L’eau De Bear?’ I find it as agreeable as some chilled Govan Spring with a 12 year-old Chivas Regal blend.

Yours in Rangers,

Edward (Teddy) Bear Esquire,

Chalfont St. Giles,



Dear Teddy,

It’s great to hear from you and I trust that you are enjoying your new Friday correspondence feature now that Sunday is reserved for the Supplement. My contributions on PayPal usually swell like an Ibrox brook in Spring when you lift your wordsmith’s quill above your St. Giles parapet. It’s heartening to receive some much welcome prose as opposed to someone donating £1 just to have a go at me on PayPal. He signed off with ‘happy bhegging’ which I recognized as a slur. It was water off an Ibrox duck’s back as far as I was concerned.

Travis’ Why does it always rain on me is currently on the radio. I cordially suggest that they change their season tickets to the less threatened Club Deck at Ibrox. The holes in the roofs elsewhere are akin to the portholes of steerage class in The Titanic.  Is there any truth in the rumour that Harland & Woolff were the last to come maintenance courting to the Old Lady of Edmiston Drive? She is looking rather infirm and might not see another summer. One can but hope that some R&R at the Mount Florida Spa will rejuvenate her.

The theme at Hampden this weekend is H2O and with Scottish Water having just provided a two years duration happy hour, the Rangers players should be suitably hydrated. On paper it’s as one sided as a game of conkers, with a walnut on a string taking on a wrecking ball, but we live more in hope than anticipation.

Celtic were Monchengladbached on Wednesday evening and will take a day or two to restore their fractured pipe of pride. Warburton sur-la-mer’s team, who have had eight days to prepare, will probably play a more expansive, more fluid, style of football in keeping with their new strip sponsor: Scottish Water.

As for Hampden Park, it will soon be our home from home. If the pikeys who run Rangers continue to come up plums on their one-arm bandit fundraising, Hampden will become a more permanent feature in the Ibrox firmament.

In the unlikely event that Rangers win, I will dress up as a man of the cloth. If you hear chants of ‘Who’s the Cardinal in the Red?‘ at the FBA Awards, you should be able to find me.

Yours in Rangers,



If one wishes to read exclusives and not wait for the press to hold the criminals at Ibrox to account then please support this site via PayPal. I hope to procure another table for the FBA awards evening, but it will only go with a bang for my twenty guests, and many more virtual guests, if we bring home an award for us all to share.

One can vote on both Twitter:

and the FBA website

The Reservoir Dogs of Scottish Water

I had no intention to write another article today, but I chanced on some inside information on an exclusive that I broke earlier in the week apropos some liquidity issues at Ibrox. My working title for this piece was ‘Guardez L’eau.

With the roof connectors now so severely deteriorated that they are as secure as Joey Barton’s Rangers tenure, and a £2m water scandal coming down the pipe, one can understand why our favourite career criminal Dave King has been overheard saying :

‘It doesn’t rain but it pours!’

Is Dave looking to exit before the levee breaks? Let’s recap prior to the water metaphors running downstream. A good place to start would be the known knowns:

Scottish Water (SW) have now issued an ultimatum to Rangers. The invoice which was issued 3 months ago, is for a total of £2,280,000 which represents £95,000 per month for a period of two years. If this is not paid in full, the water supply will be terminated within 24 hours. Ibrox and the superstore would be closed immediately. A £2.5m surety would be required prior to any supply being restored. One can now understand why it’s critical that Rangers relocate to Hampden in the very short-term.

Of much greater import is the possibility of criminal charges, although with Scotland Police re-branding themselves as the Partisan Loyal, Real Rangers Men in uniforms arresting other Real Rangers Men is both highly unlikely and a clear transgression of the tenets of Freemasonry apropos helping out a brother in need. Dave King and Paul Murray’s £25,000 reset of misappropriated data has been kicked in to the long grass, but not at Ibrox as it won’t be growing high should the sprinklers run dry.

Someone knowingly sanctioned the illegal tampering of SW plant to effect the theft of a water supply. This came to light upon investigation of a burst pipe which supplies a Church of Scotland kirk with water. When SW threatened to cut off the misappropriated supply immediately, Rangers pleaded ignorance and stated that the contractors who built the superstore were responsible. However SW countered that it was inconceivable that no-one at the club thought it strange that they were not receiving monthly water bills. Prior to the two-year free pour, Rangers did pay some of their water bills, but not all of them and never on time. Taking advantage of a church’s free supply is rather naughty of Rangers. Was the attitude at Ibrox, as was the case with EBT, that this is Scotland and as we own the police, we won’t get caught? I can see how one could arrive at that conclusion with the Partisan Loyal twirling their batons to the cry of:

“Hello, Hello, We are the Partisan Boys.

  Hello, Hello, whistling kettling is our noise

  Rangers are up to their knees in H2O and we don’t give a fig

  Even if they have enough to float a rig.”

Rangers are currently playing for time, asserting that the matter is in the hands of their solicitors, namely conveyancing solicitor James Blair at Anderson Strathearn.

However this is not washing with SW who are planning to leak details of this debacle to the press. If Rangers continue to stonewall the situation, Scottish Water will invite the press to witness them turning off the supply and highlight the on the fly plumbing arrangements that Rangers have been taking full advantage of.

Why be hung for a stream when you can be hung for a reservoir, as it were. The Reservoir Dogs are back at Rangers


It’s interesting to note that Glasgow City Council are fully aware of this and are spitting blood. If it were not for their intervention the water would have been cut off months ago. Rangers reassurances that they are relocating to Hampden is not cutting any ice with Scottish Water who are £2.28m out of pocket. Will Rangers be able to find a £2.5m surety to return to Ibrox, or will the football authorities ease their path to permanent relocation? I get the distinct impression that this is where this heading as the bills are now untenable. The roofs will cost a minimum of £10m to repair. The water bill is £2m. The surety is £2.5m. £14.5m before a ball is even kicked? When are Rangers planning to inform us that our heritage has been sold to Tesco?

As for the SMSM smurfs, they are also aware of this but are being kept in check by their editors so as not to upset the cosy advertising contracts with the Park Group. Now where did I put that umbrella?


If one wishes to read exclusives and not wait for the press to hold the criminals at Ibrox to account then please support this site via PayPal. I hope to procure another table for the FBA awards evening, but it will only go with a bang for my twenty guests, and many more virtual guests, if we bring home an award for us all to share.

One can vote on both Twitter:

and the FBA website

CFC-If It Bleeds It Leads

I took some time from running this site to watch two UCL games, back to back, yesterday evening. In the first game that I watched live, FC Barcelona V Manchester City, I witnessed a squad worth £643m comfortably prevail against the EPL runners-up squad which is valued at £440m. In the second game I watched a visiting German side with a squad valued at £142m also prevail comfortably against a home side with a squad worth £46m.

The value of the squads don’t lie. The best forward line in world football represent FC Barcelona. Messi, Suarez and Neymar were the difference between the respective teams. If one were to strip them out of the team, Barcelona and City would have been evenly matched. CFC on the other hand were not playing a squad with a value which represented 68% of their squad’s value. Borussia Monchengladbach have a squad that is valued at three times that of CFC.

These metrics held up when City played Borussia and took four off them.When CFC held City to a very entertaining 3-3 draw, they were punching almost ten times above their weight. The UCL is unforgiving. If one makes two errors as was the case with Kolo Toure, the superior squad will have clinical finishers leading their forward line to punish you. To my mind Celtic effectively bowed out of UEFA football yesterday. I do not envisage any points away to Borussia or City, and only a fool would predict a victory against Barcelona at Celtic Park. The latter game will be a sell out. If one of my readers could find me a ticket, I would happily attend on the proviso that you don’t reveal I’m a bluenose as I am first and foremost a former player and now supporter of association football. I would pay three times the face value to watch Barcelona, who are probably the finest team in world football.

CFC supporters who contribute to the upkeep of this site, which to all intents and purposes is their site, will be down this morning. The draw with City was the kind of anomaly that is not welcome at UEFA. A good year is one where their G14 clubs all reach the last 16. It was an one-off where great tactics and speed of thought equaled the might of a circa half a billion pounds squad. One could take out CFC’s squad value from the City team and still have the lion’s share of £400m to play with. The German visitors were tactically astute. The kept their shape and were disciplined throughout. Dembele, Sinclair and Griffiths were all effectively nullified. Only Roberts and Brown shone as the Germans contained Rogic. Tierney was out of his depth at this level. Forrest, with his dearth of end-product, continues to flatter to deceive.

At my quaintly charming English local, which is reputed to be haunted by the ghost of a lynched 18th century paedophile, the rule of thumb is support the British club against foreign opponents. Wings Over Scotland would have you believe that my English friends arrive on horseback and wear pith helmets as they bemoan the fall of The Raj more than that of Brexit. This is decidedly not the case. Those who remained to watch the CFC game were generally supportive, if not flashing pom-poms at the exposed beams and thatched roof. There was no sense of Schadenfreude. The Rangers supporters who are laughing this morning will be crying in their beer on Sunday afternoon as their threadbare squad of Geriatricos face a squad worth more than four times that of their meagre £10m squad. The Smurfs at the Evening Shark Jump have rolled out Bert Konterman from his sheltered housing to expound on Rangers prevailing on Sunday, prior to Nurse recommending a good lie down and less cheese in his evening diet. At this juncture the only football that would result in a Rangers win is of the blow variety. Rangers would only start at an advantage if they had a favourable Hampden swirl from Jackass and the Level 5 lickspittles releasing enough rhetoric to elevate a hot-air balloon. Who needs helium when one can revert to the 99 Red  (White & Blue) Balloons in the ever so blue SMSM? In fact if Rangers win on Sunday I will attend the FBA ceremony dressed as a Cardinal. If one sees a ‘tired and emotionalCardinal dancing among the Marc Almond wannabees in a Canal Street gaffe, you should know that I lost a sure-fire bet and normally prefer much more secular garb when carousing. I will extend my stay in Manchester if anyone can find me a ticket for the MU v Arsenal game on Saturday lunch-time. I would like to think that someone at the FBA Awards ceremony would sell a ticket to a visiting Cardinal?  That would be very ecumenical of them.

Image result for Monty Python The Cardinal
Is there more chance of Chris Sutton’s Spanish Inquisition turning up at Hampden on Sunday than Rangers turning over Celtic? No-one would expect The Spanish Inquisition or a Rangers win!

Mark Warburton sur-la-mer did not have the distraction of a gala evening of UCL football, which is just as well as he was apparently too busy to talk to BT Sport, yet was surprisingly available to brief the print media. I get the distinct impression that Mark prefers his questions to be of the  amuse-bouche variety with a lamb foam. Chris Sutton would probably have been as welcome as the Spanish Inquisition at a heretics AGM.

Should Chris take a yellow leaf out of Jim White’s book and revert to the preferred Ibrox canon of ‘Why are you so good‘ and ‘Is your hat as magic as it looks?’ Sutton however is the worse type of loose-cannon pundit who would probably inquire:

‘ Did you find your team at Glasgow’s Necropolis?’

One can just imagine the Level 5 klaxon alert sounding at Auchenhowie with Mangetout and Craven sliding down their Fire Keep poles to extinguish the incoming.

As Paul Murray beats a lonely furrow around the square mile trying unsuccessfully to raise a penny for his Ibrox Guy, news reaches me of record profits at McGills. Sandy and James have had a Halcyon year, with record profits of £4m at their bus compamy (McGills)  and taxi fleet (Inverclyde Taxis). Would it be controversial to suggest that Paul just continues on the M8 past the Ibrox turn-off to parlay chez Easdale?  I’m sure his entreaties would be well-received:

Any old Iron for three Roofs barely on their uppers?

An Abuse of State Power

Yesterday’s exclusive was a good day for the internet bampots. I was able to go to print as soon as I had received the court order from an impeccable source.I did not have to satisfy an editor or a sub, nor run it past legal. I did not have to vie with other articles for the front page. The agility of social media was writ large. I scooped the internet edition of the Scottish Sun by the best part of eight hours and its hard copy delivery by double that amount. A scoop of this nature is very satisfying.

However, what this site cannot do is to solicit the reaction of the defendants, with the notable exception of Charles Green. Social media is dismissed by many as a fringe element of The Fourth Estate. If I were to call the media desks of Police Scotland or the Lord Advocate I would be given short shrift. John who?

I can assure readers that both defendants are fully aware of this site. There have been discussions in chambers and mutterings apropos contempt. I have been warned off by sources close to the police. I was the unique go-to source for what has become known as the Fraudco hearings. Everyone in the press and other sites gave these hearings a wide berth. I, on the other hand, was the exclusive source of the full indictments and I apprised readers of developments despite a two years sentence hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles. Social media may well empower me, but power carries its own inherent risks.

This site is a demanding mistress. Those who meet me at the FBA awards will be able to attest to the rings under my eyes. I don’t wear them like badges of honour. I envisage them as the inevitable consequences of the long hours that I spend on this site. This month’s salaries will be transferred via BACS and SWIFT in six days time. Those who choose to donate via PayPal can prolong the existence of this site after the 18th of November. If one gives generously I will continue until year’s end and possibly beyond. I will defer to the good judgement of my readers. Yesterday I approved this site’s 20,000th comment. I work tirelessly to curate these comments and weed out the ad hominem attacks. No-one is allowed to play the man on this site. The comments forum is, in my considered opinion, without peer. If one donates the Sitonfence Speakeasy will continue to serve those who wish to articulate their thoughts and the ‘lurkers‘ who visit each and every day to read them.

Regular readers will note that I rarely damn SMSM journalists with faint praise. I am much more excoriating in my criticism of individuals such as the sloth that is Keith Jackass whose willingness to be a receptacle of PR puff has been long-established. Jackass put the B in Craig Whyte’s millions and puts the B in imbecile. However The Scottish Sun deserves a chapeau for eliciting the following reactions:

“The Crown has taken careful note of the court’s decision. It has taken steps, and will continue to take steps, along with the police and other reporting agencies to ensure that the appropriate lessons are learned.”

This is no more than a fig boilerplate response to what I have been at pains to exclusively point out in JJ Passim as nothing short of scandalous. Justices Gross and Mitting did not spare the horses when handing down their stinging rebukes:

“The search- and-seize operation was heavy-handed and resulted in the seizure of documents subject to legal professional privilege and irrelevant documents not covered by the search warrant.The actions of the defendants were an abuse of state power.”

As I have highlighted on numerous occasions, DCI Robertson and his team of Real Rangers Men have gone out of their way to oppress the defendants’ legal rights in an almost unprecedented abuse of state power by what can only be described as a partisan police team.One has to revert to the hearings of The Birmingham Six for abuses of this nature.

It has long been my contention that these hearings are without merit and a flagrant abuse of the public purse. If Police were to pursue the real culprit for the demise of Rangers it would only entail a short drive to Gogarburn where Sir David Murray will be breaking ground on his latest scam. What are Police Scotland waiting for? Does SDM have to appear as Chief Ironside in a Paul Baxendale-Walker porn production?

A police spokesman last night said the force was “aware” of the court’s ruling, adding

“We’re working closely with the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service in relation to this matter. Due to ongoing related legal proceedings, it would be inappropriate to comment further.”

Ongoing legal proceedings from this omnishambles of a team who have squandered £500,000?  Craig Whyte must be quaking in his boots.

Police Scotland’s £500,000 Abuse of The Public Purse.



Before the Right Honourable Lord Justice Gross and the Honourable Mr Justice Mitting


V defendants:




The Third and Fourth defendants must pay the claimants costs on an indemnity basis. Reasons:

1. This case is out of the norm. The Third and Forth defendants obtained a warrant of excessive and unlawful width which contained no provision for dealing lawfully with documents held by the claimants subject to legal professional privilege. As the Third and Forth defendants should have known, the law of both Scotland and England and Wales required special procedures to be taken to ensure that documents which were the subject of LPP were not seized. They were forewarned of this by the claimants before the warrant was obtained, but sought a warrant which contained no such protection. They knew or should have known that the claimants were reputable international commercial solicitors and have never suggested that, if forewarned, they would have done anything unlawfully to frustrate an operation lawfully to search for and seize documents. Yet they decided to proceed without giving notice to them. The search and seize operation was heavy-handed and resulted in the seizure of both documents subject to LPP and irrelevant documents not covered by the warrant. Taken in the round, which we are entitled to do, actions of the Third and Forth defendants were an abuse of state power.

2. The fact that their case was conducted in a manner that was entirely reasonable on the application for permission to apply for Judicial Review and that the claim raised difficult and important questions about the manner in which cross border warrants should be enforced does not cure the matter. But for the Third and Fourth defendants’ conduct, these questions would not have arisen.

Dated: 9 September 2016 By the Court

It only took seven days since all charges were dismissed against six of the seven defendants to find for Duff & Phelps. I have added red type for emphasis. COPFS do not want you to see this document. Police Scotland don’t want their dirty laundry to be aired in public as it could be deemed detrimental to the case against Whyte. If I were Donald Findlay, I would posit that any information gleaned by the illegal actions of Police Scotland should be ruled inadmissible and that his client should walk free.

An award of £500,000 has been ordered. This will not be the last action raised by the illegally indicted, wrongly accused defendants.

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