Stay Classy

“The Club’s Directors are fully aware of the disgust felt by Rangers supporters who were subjected to a sickening and shameful display of outright sectarian hatred towards them.We also share the fans’ anger and will be contacting Club 1872 as a matter of urgency.”

“Celtic will not become involved in a tit for tat spat regarding all events at Celtic Park on Saturday. We will deal with all issues arising in a proper and professional manner in line with our well established policies. Saturday was a fantastic event for the club and our fans worldwide. We thank the overwhelming majority of our supporters for the positive backing they gave to the team and for making this such a great occasion.”

Take a long hard look at the photograph of Brendan Rodgers in Barcelona. It’s an image that Stephen Kerr and Mangetout Traynor don’t want you to see. Level 5 have been spinning so vigorously and single-mindedly at their Blythswood Square velodrome that they are still in their dress down Friday lycra shorts. The rumours that shares in Dunkin Donuts dropped in early afternoon trading remain unconfirmed.

Let’s take a cursory glance at the Level 5  in-tray :

  1. Dave King, the career criminal, was nowhere to be seen when the penny finally dropped on the Ibrox faithful that he had sold them a couple of old nags and Trigger’s broom.
  2. Rangers were ‘horsed’ so comprehensively that the honeymoon with Warburton is well and truly over. The fans have called the Banker of America and unequivocally stated: No Surrender and No deal.
  3. The No Surrender  party song’ was relayed to a global family audience.
  4. Some supporters from the minimalist school of interior design chose an homage to Dresden motif when re-appointing the Celtic park water closets.
  5. Celtic are playing a glamour game in The Champions League.


Number 5 on the list is bread and butter to any PR company worth its salt. Serving some appetising canapes of spin to the slavering SMSM smurfs can usually derail the pro-CFC  agenda for just long enough for some post prandial Schadenfreude. Chris Union Jack, Martin ‘Engine-Room Subsidiary’ Williams and Matt Lindsay were reminded of how important the Parks advertising account is to The Herald Group. They were immediately pressed into action:

Image result for Papa Abraham

Chris Jack, at the back of the photograph, who is checking for a 5 o’clock shadow at 9 p.m. was fed the appropriate image and we’re off and running on a fully blown S&M Sectarian scandal:

This is Celtic Park in 2016. What kind of image did this convey to a global family audience? Are the imbeciles who came up with this stunt proud of their handiwork? The rubber dolls were probably not even noticed by the Rangers support. The outrage came later. This was manna from heaven for Level 5.

The Rangers board, who have been barred from The Horseshoe and are now drinking in the Nag’s Head, have decided to give themselves a good talking to. James Blair, secretary of RIFC is going to have a tea, no biscuits, meeting with Club 1872 Consigliere, James Blair. Is he going to make himself an offer that he cannot refuse? I referred to a frosty city meeting in deference to our Bay City Trader, Woody Warburton.

When I think of the Rangers board and their preferred narrative diatribes, my thoughts turn to Anchorman and Team 4:

Image result for image of broadcast news, stay classy san diego

In the photo, taken during Movember, Paul Murray is anchor and Stewart Robertson is an SFA roving reporter.Dave ‘all hat no cattle’ King is in the background as is Je Suis Graham, who is writing some copy with one of Craig Whyte’s old flames, Tits-Up McGee.  Paul, who has overseen a remarkable increase of 60% in salaries at Rangers susidiary Garrion Security, despite the exceptional costs of the Commonwealth Games not in any way impacting the 2015 accounts, is also fond of a chat with James Blair, who is also on this board. The conveyancing solicitor is as ubiquitous as mirrors in Paul’s well-appointed house:

Image result for image of ron burgundy in mirror

Paul is a little more phlegmatic about the blow-up dolls at Celtic Park. He instinctively reaches for some homespun philosophy:

Image result for image of ron burgundy in mirror


The last word goes to Ron Burgundy who would like to remind all readers to Stay Classy on the John James site where playing the man is outlawed.

Image result for image of broadcast news, stay classy san diego
Stay Classy John James World





34 thoughts on “Stay Classy”

  1. Jings JJ

    Apparently Pete is that distraught after the game, if Celtic win the league by the end of September he can expect falling attendances and merchandise sales for the rest of the season.

    In the USA we would bunch up the pack a bit in this situation, maybe Pete should ask the SFA to deduct them some points on some matter that he could later appeal against -if it turns out they need the points.

    He might be able to use Club 1690 after all.

  2. Those responsible for the dolls mistakenly thought it was funny when the idea came into their head. It was in poor taste and it outright disappoints and disgusts the vast majority of Celtic fans. Exacerbated by the fact it was World Suicide Prevention Day and the tragic news of Kris Boyd’s brother that week, it has given ammunition to those who would seek to distract from the frailties of Rangers, both off and on the park. Had the scoreline been reversed I posit none of this would have seen the light of day and certainly not to this extent.

    “If you can’t make them happy, make them angry” seems to be the order of business these days. As long as a section of the Rangers support are not looking where they ought to be then it is a good day on Edmiston Drive.

    However, what I am seeing from my perspective is a lot of Rangers people effectively calling on the end to an arms race whilst holding a smoking gun. They should be careful what they wish for as now there will be more scrutiny upon their own, this could backfire spectacularly. The lunatics are running the asylum and a cash strapped board need their money.

    I offer no excuses for the behaviour of a small number of Celtic fans, those responsible for the dolls should go and sit with the Samaritans over a week or two or go to Sierra Leone and talk to the families affected by the civil war. Many families will be able to recount how their loved ones were taken away to the Aberdeen Road Bridge by the West Side Boys.

    One derby match in, the fires are well fuelled and we’re up to our knees in hypocrisy.

    Meanwhile, I am off to seek some wise words on chastity from the Second Earl of Rochester.

  3. That Club 1872 piece was horribly detached from reality and conveyed with not a trace of hypocrisy nor care for the undoubted unrest, violence and entrenchment it would cause. But it remained insignificant rumblings of a malcontents minority. The Rangers official statement however is so irresponsible and reeking of an armour plated sectarian deflection squirrel that it beggars belief. It crosses a line that no responsible Board should want to cross never mind be allowed to. Sad to say it, but if The Rangers don’t go to the wall soon then Scottish football and civilised society is in for a sustained hiding. Playground prejudices and easily influenced people are being played like fiddles and all so that King can extract his pound of flesh from a bad investment decision. It’s horrible and no decent person should stand for it.

  4. Sorry… Let me just add that a responsible Board that actually cared about the sectarian undertones would have pointed out the singing of their own fans and announced their plan to weed out and stop those that tarnished the club name, inviting Celtic to do the same. Deal with what’s in your control to deal with. This isn’t about solving such issues though. Those issues are Kings biggest hit on his pied piper repertoire. The more entrenched and unwilling to listen to reason his cult are the more in control and safe he is for his money extraction aims.

  5. Dad’s Army Embarras Warburton-at-Sea

    The Magic Hat is getting a lot of stick for his lame Lustg squirrel, but let’s be fair, at least he hasn’t disappear to the USA for three weeks without a word as he did the last time he blasted a hole in the cash flow forecast.

  6. The hypocrisy of TRFC and its fan group is just astounding. They issued (yet another) statement criticising the Hibernian supporters for invading the Hampden pitch at the end of the Scottish Cup Final whilst praising their own fans for doing exactly the same. In their most recent statement they talk about the CFC’s fans display of “sectarian hatred” whilst condoning the week by week chanting of The Billy Boys and The Famine Song at their own stadium and only last week their own players posed with a flute band that marches at events that celebrate anti-Catholicism. Do these people have no self awareness?

    1. Er, no …

      Bear in mind (hehe) that at least one of these statements was most likely ‘composed’ by the barely articulate King lackey, and notoriously public Islamophobe, Chris Graham, who seems quite happy to do Level 5’s work for them while Jabba’s down the boozer, hatching plots, concocting plans, and downing glasses of lamb flavoured Chianti.

      No experts in irony, these guys, but I hear they’re quite good at masonry, which is the cornerstone of every nutritious modern-day media morsel.

  7. God only knows why the inflatable dolls were allowed to be displayed. It looks like an own goal from a section of the Celtic support. I don’t get what they’re supposed to represent either, bad judgement in my opinion. Stick to humorous, piss-take banners in the future.

    The hypocrisy from TRFC and club 1872 re the dolls is hilarious though. Clearly they don’t do irony. Faux outrage at a couple of strung up sex dolls but a deafening silence over banned party songs and violent assaults on the pitch at Hampden!

    Still I think we all know which transgression will receive the higher sanction from the MSM and SPFL don’t we?

  8. The circling of the wagons around the new Rangers club/company can only fend off the advancing truth and reality for so long. Implosion will occur and, hopefully, the compliant and complicit SPFL/SFA will be taken down at the same time. Let’s hope this will be sooner rather than later for the general good of Scottish football.

    Have followed the site since the beginning, JJ, and it is the only way of getting the truth and veracity of what’s really going on down Govan way. (Special mentions to Monsieur Clumpany and PMG).

    Donation sent. Will repeat as and when i can.



  9. It gets worse if you concentrate on the #GoingFor55 mantra and just look at purely League form over the last dozen games (Championship in 15/16 and Premiership in 16/17 thus far):

    10-Sep-16 LOSS Scot Premiership Celtic 5 1 Rangers A
    26-Aug-16 DRAW Scot Premiership Kilmarnock 1 1 Rangers A
    20-Aug-16 WIN Scot Premiership Rangers 2 1 Motherwell H
    13-Aug-16 WIN Scot Premiership Dundee 1 2 Rangers A
    06-Aug-16 DRAW Scot Premiership Rangers 1 1 Hamilton H
    01-May-16 DRAW Championship St Mirren 2 2 Rangers A
    26-Apr-16 LOSS Championship Livingston 1 0 Rangers A
    23-Apr-16 DRAW Championship Rangers 1 1 Alloa H
    20-Apr-16 LOSS Championship Hibernian 3 2 Rangers A
    02-Apr-16 DRAW Championship Raith Rovers 3 3 Rangers A
    26-Mar-16 WIN Championship Rangers 4 3 Queen of the South H
    18-Mar-16 LOSS Championship Falkirk 3 2 Rangers A

    Only 3 wins in 12 games – all 3 by a SINGLE GOAL
    Away league form – Played 8 W1 D3 L4
    Away goal difference; Scored 13, Conceded 19 = -6
    Defeats to Falkirk, Hibs, Livingston, Celtic
    Draws with Raith, Alloa, St Mirren, Hamilton, Kilmarnock
    NO CLEAN SHEETS in last 12


    “Jabba!!! Get me Jabba nowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!”

  10. Forgive me, I’m not from around here, but what is “sectrarian” about a sex doll wearing a football scarf. No doubt the stunt was in extreme bad taste, but what is the religious angle?

  11. JJ,
    Firstly let me say, that as a Celtic supporter, I was
    disappointed and dismayed at the attempt by some
    at Parkhead on Saturday at what can only be described as
    “gutter humour”. This was in very poor taste.
    Most people would never have known it was
    World Suicide Prevention Day (myself included) but credit
    must go to Level 5 for bringing it to everyones attention.
    It proves that they actually can do investigative journalism
    when their need arises!!
    The two board statements show the difference in class between them,
    much like the two teams themselves.
    All of this wreaks of desperation from down Ibrox way and Mr King knows
    it is the only way of keeping the “paying customers” on board after Saturday’s
    As we (people who read this blog) all know it will take some serious cash to keep
    this club afloat till the end of the season and currently it is only 1872 who appear
    to be “donating” to this cause, although Mr King can no doubt call on his Hong Kong
    pals to lend more when the need arises.
    Sooner rather than later methinks!!

  12. A poster on made a complaint to the Daily Record on their coverage of the cup final after making special mention of their front page headline that 11 Rangers players had been assaulted by Hibs fans.
    He actually got a reply from some guy called Johnathan Russell, the media director who defended the article by say the writer saw it with his own eyes and ……
    Nearly every Rangers player was assaulted either physically or verbally !

    There we have the true picture Hibs fans called the Rangers players names. No wonder they were traumatised.

  13. Another great piece jj & sticking with Mr Burgundy, I find the statements issued by the club & c1872 remind me of Ron being stuck in a glass case of emotion & basically throwing a hissy fit. Heaven forbid they actually stop & wonder why the team got cuffed 5-1 & the state of financial affairs? I recently read that there are rumours circulating about a possible loan already in place from Mr Easdale to the tune of £6m…do you know anything about this jj? Keep up the good work

  14. JJ
    you mention donations are low – could it be it’s too ______ hard to give you money – I’ve tried at least half a dozen times to donate via the credit card function and it just wont work – tells me I’m not formatting the phone number properly or the postcode is wrong – I can’t even get far enough that it will run the cc – sorry to be a pain, but I’m trying to support
    Love the site – trying to contribute


  15. The image of hanging blow up dolls at Celtic Park on Saturday showed a lack of class by, I suspect, a handful of Celtic fans.

    I am sure that the majority took a look and thought…..’what prats’.

    But the reaction to this event by Rangers officials has been over the top, to say the least. (Down here, I have to work hard to get access to stories associated with Scottish football as it is, generally speaking, of little interest to football followers in England.)

    Dave King and his poodle Paul may know nothing about good corporate governance, transparency and substance. But they are experts in the art of DIVERSIONARY TACTICS.

    In the wake of a frightful hammering, they are focusing the attention of the gullible on a tasteless prank. I do think that they have other pressing priorities to worry about, like a shortage of working capital, a poor squad, the absence of a business plan and a club which is based on spin with no substance.

    If anyone took offence at a blow up doll hanging from the rafters at Celtic Park and perpetrated by a few morons, I would suggest that those same offended folks take in a game between Liverpool and Manchester United. The vitriol on both sides is scary stuff, with Liverpool fans, in their thousands chanting about the Munich air disaster which claimed the lives of Man Utd players and staff. Likewise, Man Utd fans sing sickening chants about Hillsborough.

    So spare me the drama of a stupid stunt and an overreaction from Ibrox geared to deflecting attention away from an embarrassment on the pitch.

    And that embarrassment on the pitch is King’s legacy. King’s empty promises, lies and spin were laid bare on Saturday. This is the man that the gullible wanted, whipped into a frenzy by deranged Bomber Brown, and lauded into Ibrox with garlands of rose petals.

    Well, they have in place what they deserve. A crook at the helm and a team of crocks.

    Incidentally, I took the Scottish edition of The Times on Saturday. I read Spiers’ piece in the Sports section.

    I am not a fan of Spiers. He is a lazy writer, provides few insights and offers idle observations which add little value. He is clearly way ahead of the Scottish Red Top ‘journalists’, but if he had more punch and embraced the English language like an artist with a brush, he would be writing for The Times in England or The Telegraph.

    Bot papers have terrific sports journalists who are a must read. Jonathan Liew in The Telegraph is a must read and writes beautifully.

    I also know that Spiers reads this site as he has used bits from JJ, me and others. So Graham, memo to you. Up your game.

    We provide insights on this site. Try to do the same.

    BUT, he wrote this on Saturday….”For those of you bored with mainstream media……there has been a flowering in recent years of very gifted amateur writers……”.

    He was referring to a magazine called Nutmeg, but this site also ticks those boxes thanks to the diligence of JJ and measured contributors.

    Good luck to Celtic tonight. I do not expect them to prevail. But they are dining at the top table. Meanwhile, Rangers are dining in a canteen at Auchenhowie.

    (I sent a donation on Saturday via my EA for a few splashes of wine for you and Lady Bear.)

    1. Lady Bear is beside herself with griet at the moment, but I’m sure when she comes round that she’ll be as grateful as I am for the excellent wine. Another insightful comment. Stay classy TM.

  16. JJ, having read Phil Mac’s latest blog “An exploding wage bill for an imploding season”

    There are various points that stood out about the wage structure within Ibrox.

    Foderingham, Tavernier and Kiernan are only on £15k a week.
    Miller, Waghorn,Garner, Hill, Senderos,Wallace all on £16k.
    Kranjcar on “20k and Barton about £30k.

    Also as Phil said, RFC last season were working within a lower wage bill than what they have now and still were running at a loss.

    the hacks at Level 5 and the Daily Radar will no doubt have kept this info well hidden from the RFC supporters, if it is true that this is the current wages being dished out to the crop of pensioners within Ibrox then surely this current entity will not see out the season the way that they are going.

    As i have said before i think at Halloween time if RFC fall in with another few embarrassing defeats to Hearts and Aberdeen the challenge of #Goingfor55 will be long gone unless its for 55 points.

    Donation has been sent in.

  17. Is there an outraged club statement about this? (with url this time)

    The guy in the Gascoigne shirt shouldn’t be hard to track down.

  18. It takes an organisation with a very brass neck, no sense of irony and a sense of entitlement to publish the latest guff around Saturday’s events.
    Do those responsible for the article even know what sectarianism is?

    It’s as sure as hell not 👋 an Irish tricolour, booing every touch of the ball by their marquee signing, or should that be marquis?

    The dolls thing was a disgrace and those responsible should be identified and banned from the stadium……end of.

    But where in hell were Police Scotland……I remember seeing a video of previous damage to the toilets with images of Glasgow ‘ s finest standing watching as the fans destroyed the toilets.

    I wonder where King will place the repairs bill for Celtic Park in the creditors in tray queue……before or after the SFA fine, ditto the SPFL fine, ditto the forthcoming Scottish Cup Final fine.

    I wonder at what stage Robertson ‘ s cash flow statement tips into the red given the huge hike in the wage bill with no corresponding increase in income?

    A word on Dembele………..pacey, two footed, good in the air. Another year with Rodgers and Celtic and further improvement will see him go to the EPL for £20m plus.

  19. The truth with this game is, that you shouldn’t get too high with the victories as well a getting down with the defeats. The TRFC statement let the world know that this is a ‘Bigoted Board’ and knowing they are hurting badly, makes me smile. Anybody who defines himself as anything other than a human being first and foremost, needs serious help.

  20. The dolls were a Moronic stunt.

    Every right minded person cringed.

    The c1872 nameless statement and equally nameless, in record short time, club response were the usual pantomime faux outrage.

    Regardless, Calamity Warbs has lost the media. Was there a Monday presser from Murray Park? Normally performance apologist Kenny Miller gets wheeled out.

    Good luck to Celtic tonight holding up Scottish football at the very highest club level.

    1. I give in. What were the dolls supposed to represent? What was the stunt? At worst very bad taste!
      The real harm was caused by the mob in Glasgow city centre on Saturday afternoon. yet nothing, no outrage and no condemnation about these vile people only interested in the scent of Fenian blood. An absolute embarrassment to their club and society. Then you read the leaders and supporters groups ramblings of TRFC. You then think what else to expect
      The future of TRFC is deeply troubling and is leading to social unrest. These leaders are whipping up a frenzy that will lead to loss of life again..
      The doll stunt was rediculous, but the violence and hatred spouting from every member of that mob was shocking and I hold King, graham, and the pathetic leadership that is the Scottish government, including the football authorities, to account. Don’t get me even started on the media!!

  21. As I’m sure many of your readers have already pointed out, the Scottish media were bemoaning the absence of their beloved “powderkeg fixture” for the best part of four years. So they got their “Old Firm” back–and two weeks before the game, the old hype-machine started grinding: this “explosive” “clash,” this world-famous “bitter rivalry” et freakin’ cetera.

    Now they’re all squealing, “This is not what we ordered!” While getting their lacy under-things in a twist about… two shoddy, deeply unamusing “effigies” and a traditional act of mass vandalism?! In an intriguing new twist on “Old Firm”-sploitation, Radio Clyde are giving air-time to the blushing arriviste Hugh Keevins, who wants to mount a campaign against… this kind of thing! Never mind Ned Flanders: Keevins’ new Puritanism makes Mary Whitehouse look like a leading “lady” in one of Paul Baxendale-Walker’s three-tissue epics.

    Decency, is it? I am fairly certain the Fat Controller of Blythswood Square thinks it’s jolly decent of his erstwhile colleagues to overlook the Fenian Blood Mass Choir, the “Kill All Irish” banner, the honoring of a man who gunned down a Catholic civilian in cold blood. Und so weiter.

    Unless I’m missing some key piece of data, the Celtic supporters’ girlfriend-substitutes were weak jokes of the “dead club” variety. If any serious sectarian offences should arise on that side, no veil of “decency” should be ever be drawn over them. There will never be a moment where offences from either side happen to neatly balance each other out–the media’s addiction to flse equivalency is an insult to the intelligence, and it needs to cease forthwith.

    If such matters are addressed honestly and consistently, both Rangers and Celtic will ultimately benefit; as–more importantly–will Scottish society as a whole.

  22. When you look at the picture with the dolls I find it strange that no one is actually looking at them. Secondly I had friends who were at the game and they never saw them either. I’m sure everyone would have be pointing and looking at them?? So is this photo genuine or a Photoshop job?

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