The revolving door at Ibrox is spinning like a whirling dervish. Mike Ashley’s decision to sell his shares, at 27.5 p, to a big cheese in Hong Kong’s equivalent of ‘The Milk Marketing Board’ and Club Tropicana came as a shock to a city source who envisaged an Ashley putsch and a relisting on LSE AIM.
It will be celebrated by those who prefer King with barely a pot to piss in to a real billionaire. Also celebrating will be Celtic FC who realised that only Ashley could have put a spoke in the wheels of their ten-in-a-row ambitions. King’s statement that Celtic should have been further ahead of Lite last season is further evidence that this guy has a screw loose. Thirty-nine points is unprecedented. Was he referring to the four points dropped as a result of a blatant dive by Schalke and Madden’s decision that Clint Hill can engage in a flying drop kick to deny Griffiths a goal scoring opportunity? CFC were unbeaten in all domestic competitions, only dropping 8 points all season while winning the treble. King promised that Lite would be a solid second. Wrong again. They lagged Aberdeen by nine points. Would you buy a second-hand strip from this man? The gullibillies queued up to buy last season’s laughing stock from Mike Ashley’s superstore. How stupid are these people? It beggars belief that last season’s mothballed shirts, that should be in a bargain bin at Sports Direct, are being sold at £20.
This board is so incompetent that they could not launch a new strip.
A board that now includes yet another absent director to patch in to the weekly Skype conference calls. King badly needed an ally as he trusts Mountie Murray about as far as his beleaguered wife does, and he knows that Park and Taylor are sick of the sight of a career criminal stinking up their board with his stupidity. The Takeover Panel are going to ragdoll King. The absent chairman will be gone prior to Theresa May leaving Downing Street.
After a day of self-congratulations and spin, yesterday was actually a reverse for the rogue board. Club 1872, the rogue board’s bank of last resort, used the money in their kitty to line Ashley’s pockets. The Big Cheese also bought his shares from Ashley. Lite’s bank balance continues to provide the level of comfort of a church mouse on death row.
The only positive I can glean is that the soft loans will be converted into equity. This should take care of next season’s FFP compliance in The Europa League, not that it matters as Lite will most probably be suspended for this year’s transgressions and the sectarian singing that accompanies them on their travels as they wreak havoc on unsuspecting European Capitals, whose denizens are unfamiliar with the social mores of the late 17th century.
However what is uppermost in my mind is what compelling event forced the board to capitulate to Ashley. Could there be any credence in James Forrest’s ‘rumour’ that Puma and Sports Direct were threatening to sue Lite for breach of contract unless a deal was struck which allowed them to clear out all their surplus stocks?
One is led to believe that Puma is spitting blood. Their seven figure advance on anticipated sales last season has not been repaid. The clearout of the old stock should be sufficient to pay back this advance and Sports Direct’s cut. But at £20 a throw there is no fat for any profits to Lite. Puma and SD are covering their costs. So much for King’s more profitable arrangement. As I suggested yesterday, King is bent over a barrel having his arse caned for being a bloody-minded spiv with an IQ that defies Darwinian evolution.
Lite’s ineptitude in getting the 32 Red deal over the line put paid to any new strip launch this season. The conspicuous absence of a Puma advance this season will have a severe knock-on effect on Lite’s liquidity.
King’s hand-picked audience of SMSM nodding dogs refused to unpick their host’s humiliating admission that it was too late in the day to get a new strip launched to comply with SPFL and UEFA regulations.
However King took his lying and contradictions to a new paradigm when he stated that Lite would launch a second and third strip in the next six days. Is the SMSM stupidity congenital or acquired by osmosis to King?
Even though Puma would like to maximise returns in their last year of a relationship with Lite, how could they possibly expect those buying tat today to buy more tat tomorrow? Will the sale of last year’s laughing stock be Lite’s Who Shot JR moment? Will it all be a dream prior to a shining high-kicking replica launch?
Only in Scotland could the rogue board’s ineptitude to get a new strip out the door be ignored in favour of a fable that Ashley caved in to the piss-ant that is King. I’m more persuaded by James Forrest’s thesis that King’s rogue board went crawling to Sports Direct and asked “what will it take to give us the appearance of a win?”
King will be long gone when we discover that Ashley actually extended the contract and changed the terms to the benefit of Sports Direct.