Dodgy Dave Goes To Blazes

As the laughing stock continues to shift at The Sports Direct Superstore, spare a thought for Keith Jackson’s numeracy skills and his mendacious claim that Rangers Lite will earn £5m from the new improved all singing and dancing Retail deal. In the unlikely event that Rangers Lite earned 20% of the £20, it would only take a mere 1,250,000 units to be sold to arrive at the magic quantum. When on the topic of real quanta, the 147,000 and change in average daily sales at The Rectum is leading to a cull at Central Quay. However, call me Mr. Bright Side but it’s good weather for fishing and ultimately a more honest endeavour than working at The Ministry of Pishery.

Jackson’s homage to King is so obsequious that one might find that the award-winning hack is up for adoption. I’m fairly certain that King’s wife Ladana could use a Kitchen Toto at Her Johannesburg pile. Jackson has the balance of bowing and scraping down to pat and would add value to any household where delusion is the common currency.

In an aside from Dave King, he was somewhat dismissive of Mark Warburton’s claim for constructive dismissal. It would seem that the prospective England manager has fallen off the Fire Wagon as it rushes to put out the next blaze caused by the Castlemilk pyromaniac. I believe you will find that The League Manager’s Association will be in touch and might go as far as to sequester any funds raised from the sale of Billy Gilmour.

Meanwhile, Dave seems to have forgotten that his appeal to the Takeover Panel was given short shrift. He has been ordered to make an offer for all shares. The Court of Session will rubber stamp The Takeover Panel’s ruling and issue a legal edict. Should King continue to avoid his carpetbagging responsibilities he will be charged with contempt of court. With his rap sheet he could be sent down.

Mike Ashley may have taken a £350,000 bath on his shares, but in the final analysis this is a small price to pay to avoid The Cold Shoulder which will bring a new ice age to Ibrox. If Rangers Lite cannot raise an I.O.U. in a matchsticks poker school, getting to the end of season sailing on the sea of illiquidity will be somewhat hazardous.

King may have dodged a bullet but the Takeover Panel are not firing blanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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23 thoughts on “Dodgy Dave Goes To Blazes”

  1. Over the humorous tone as after all, one can only laugh at this total shambles. I do feel for the ordinary, decent Rangers fans, the silent many, who are watching this mayhem engulf their club in endless flow. As for all those who flocked to buy shirts and kit at the command of King, now I understand how the myth of lemmings and cliffs came to be believed. Thanks JJ, it’s a helluva job but someone has to do it.

    1. Sevco fans have not been buying kits for a while I’m led to believe .
      I can understand the mad rush to get them especially as a reduced price for year old kit.

      I have 4 kids who I need to kit out in Celtic gear and costs a bastard fortune .too much in fact for this household .last few years I’ve had to use alliexpress to kit them out .cant tell the difference from the overpriced official kit

    2. The silent many?

      They simply don’t exist. I believe JJ could call a meeting of the “ordinary decent” Rangers fans and hold it in a telephone box.

      Every single fan I have spoken to since Thursday is in a complete trance and thinks they are now ready to take on the cream of Europe.

      Comments ranging from;
      Now we’re back
      Back on an even keel
      The bastard has gone
      We are £5 million up
      Next year we will sign a deal bigger than Celtic
      Etc etc

      Every one of them looked at me as if I was from another planet when I asked them if it was maybe worth questioning not just this “deal” but everything they are told given what happened to Rangers before this Rangers?

      The look on their face like a cartoon character where the bumble bee flys in one ear and you see it buzzing behind their cross eyes before it buzzes out the other ear.

      The original RRM men are all back for another financial raid on the people they are supposed to be representing and they are skinning them alive. These guys are queuing up and chucking money at them. Insanity. The easiest fooled people on the planet. They truly believe anything. They cling on to one simple thing, a superhero will come along and vanquish the tims.
      They just don’t get that it is they that are paying for the futile attempt to vanquish the tims.

      I used to feel a little sorry for them, but their desperation has made them even more immune to rationale and the truth, they can now go happily behind their chosen pied piper over the inevitable cliff.

      Idiots to a man, and “silent many” my erchie!

      1. I used to believe there was a silent majority of what I would call decent Rangers fans and that the ‘cult’ as they are increasingly being described was confined to the lower ranks ie the Orange Order crew who would believe anything fed to them .
        NO, you are right ..Its almost all of them ..every single one
        Like you and many on here conversations I have with various types including highly qualified professionals ,executives etc they all believe the L5 Dave King narrative to the letter , they think Lawell is pulling strings and constantly hurting Rangers .They can’t believe Whyte got off with it ..absolutely believe King is spending mega money and a league title is very possible very soon ….mind blowing stuff
        I am now at the point that football is more or less a forbidden subject with anyone of a Rangers hue
        That said the occasional Rangers fan comes to me and asks for the latest inside track on social media ..when I give them a couple of solid factual titbits they walk away with rolling eyes as if I am the wide eyed loon who reads and believes a load of drivel
        Interesting social situation now where both sides of this debate believe the other side Is writing, talking and believing absolute crap

  2. A SEVCO fan, rejoicing in the departure of Mike Ashley, asked:
    ‘What has he done for anybody? Look at Newcastle!’

    Yes. Let’s..
    First Ashley kept SEVCO alive when nobody else could or would.
    Secondly, as for Newcastle, well:
    Not only are Newcastle back in the English Premier League,
    they have Rafa Benitez as their manager.
    Rafa is most certainly in the Brendan Rodgers class.

    But is Pedro?
    As yet, there is no evidence to support the notion.

  3. JJ
    I believe that a new share issue before court of session sits could enable the glib and shameless one to bail out of the sinking ship 🚢.
    But then again we know he loves the adulation as much as the money 💵 and that in my humble opinion will sink the ship and the lifeboat too.

  4. BBC Sportsound had a report from the “Megastore”,recorded yesterday,on today’s show.Talking to fans who spoke of ending their boycott cos aw ra money was going to the club,shelves were emptied and one guy ended up with a duck for his “girlfriend’s” bath(on the 12th?).Had to stop the car……keep rolling up…..

  5. Trying to donate from California,PayPal won’t accept either of my cards,any alternative means of payment would be welcome

  6. Keep the articles coming JJ and hopefully more readers will support the great work you do. Donation made…

    JJ:Noted and confirmed as per my personal e-mail. Cheers buddy.

  7. I noticed a RRM spoke recently and the ‘gospel’ was published by a fawning SMSM. I seem to remember a similar attitude to the outpourings of SDM.
    Nothing that has happened makes the current iteration of Rangers is not any more financially viable. Mike Ashley has managed to get out with the bulk of his share investment intact. Those who have ponied up with ‘soft loans’ now have the prospect of them becoming share capital. New investors to keep the show on the road till the end of the coming season still have to be found. A mug will have to be found to buy out the current shareholders before they make any serious money

    Meanwhile the Chairman is due to be crushed by legal process. One wonders if Club 1872 will be called upon again to help him out of his little difficulty by buying his shareholding.

  8. JJ

    Couldn’t get my head around the “Amnesty” £5

    However paid with a wee bit more

    **

    Where on earth is the money coming from to fund the new players?

    Sums don’t add up given all that is going on

    And Kenny Miller is right when he says it’s not good changing so many players all at once

    Another grim season

    1. The rationale behind the amnesty was to attract more readers to engage with the site. If a paywall is erected at month end their lurking days will be over. If they engage they might be inclined to contribute more. As of July I will only approve comments from those who have made a minimum contribution of £5. I will not spend hours curating the comments of freeloaders. A £5 contribution gives one a voice on this award-winning platform.

  9. Jj this is it for me now and am sorry am no going back to Celtic park until the Resloution 12 bhoys and ghirls take this as far up the daisy chain as possible.
    NOBODY should see this as anything as King and his band of RRM now being able to actually, seriously, take Secvo back to the title. The SFA are in on it givin King the OK to be a Lite director and the SMS are in on it as journalists wont even comment on the fair play financial briches Sevco are doing and it now seems Ashleys in on it selling the shares and cant upset the Life Appelcart.

    Honestly am done with Celtic until the Resolution 12 bhoys show their a new club NOT A NEWCO and whatevir punishment they get will remove the titles they say are more than hours.

    HH. And all best JJ.

  10. Even with free transfers it seems likely that signing on fees, agents fees and no doubt high wages for their summer signing spree will not have been cheap. Dave King confirmed to the media that soft loans had been made to fund this. So Sevco are in the odd position of needing loans BEFORE the season has even begun. Looks like it is Europa League or bust (quite literally). We should get an idea in a few months of how much these loans were. Their accounts are made up to the end of June each year so the next published accounts should give us more detail. I had expected soft loans to be kept back until July so they could keep the details quiet until next year. Unless of course it is the promise of loans but they have not been paid up yet. Regardless, I think the next set of “audited” accounts will make for interesting reading.

  11. Just donated for the first time. Am I the furthest away contributor given that I reside in New Zealand? You need to be around to expose the corruption and hubris of the Rangers perfidy. This season will be cataclysmic. I read comments about Winning the Europa League, getting a 55th title and stopping the 10 in a row. Surely the bookmakers who have Celtic at 1.11 and Aberdeen at 8.50 and Rangers at 9.50 to win the Premiership are more accurate. Decimal odds as we have here are so much easier to compare. When I make my $100 bet on Celtic I will earn a measly $11 next May. If I put $100 on Rangers…..I would lose $100.

    1. A warm welcome to the Sitonfence Speakeasy. An 11% return on a sure thing, tax free, is inordinately attractive. The Gypsey Kings are not worth a punt at any price

  12. JJ

    I have read all comments on this excellent article and 2 points stand out

    General Sir Melchiot accurately reflects the trance RRM are in and the discerning intelligent guys would not fit into a match box never mind a phone booth

    Fisiani welcome to the speakeasy but I find it galling and shameless you have contributed eloquently over the last few months without donating

    Your proclamation about the furthest away contributor as you stay in NZ is vacuous and total bunkum sic James Sanderson radio Clyde

    In cyber world who cares where you stay

    JJ has been ousted from his home and family through threats and intimidation and lives in the ether

    He needs the donations to make this site work so man up and back date you contributions to when you first started to enlighten us all

    Sorry to be confrontational but this really annoys me that intelligent well meaning people are / have been free loading

    VV

    1. My thoughts exactly VV.
      Fisiani – I feel that yesterday’s “welcome” is misplaced…as most readers will note, you have in fact been here for quite a while, and are instantly recognisable by your many articulate and insightful contributions…Allied to that, it’s inconceivable that you wouldn’t have been aware of JJ’s plight and circumstances whilst deriving many hours of enjoyment on this site.
      I’m utterly gobsmacked that until now you haven’t been a contributor.
      I fully appreciate that people are subject to fiscal circumstances which means they can’t contribute (yet despite these many are still moved to do so) but your narrative around a $100 bet would seem to firmly exclude you from that category.
      I need to stress that I am in no way “playing the man” here, I’m just being honest.

      1. As of 1st July no-one will be allowed to comment on our site unless they are known to me as a contributor, are unwaged or disadvantaged, or do so as my guest (Auldheid for example). The amnesty has five days to run.

    2. Yip
      Agree on both points
      Posted on point 1
      On point 2 can’t believe regular quality posters are free loading
      Agree JJ post absolutely nothing from folks who don’t contribute unless they are unemployed!

  13. Feel free to vent your spleen based on reading a few words without knowing all the facts. Feel free to castigate and lambast me with your self righteous casuistry. Specious, supercilious and fallacious vitriol should have no place on this blog. JJ knows more.

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