Bjorn & Benny Rail at King

I’m sure there’s no truth in the rumour that Dave King has written to Eurovision to demand that Abba should be stripped of their title as the The Famine Song, featuring the Louden Tavern choir, did not compete that year.

Dave King, with a semi, and Paul Murray on their way to The Cotton Club back in the day.

As for Waterloo, Dave King believes this historical battle should be re-enacted as Rangers were not formed until 1872, meeting their own Waterloo in 2012.

Someone who has begged to differ is  Kris Boyd:


A lot of people think I’ve got a grudge against Dave King. That I’m still sore about the way I was shown the door at Rangers three seasons ago.That I was hurt by things he said about myself and the players who failed to win promotion from the Championship in 2015.

It’s nonsense. Utter garbage.

I have no axe to grind whatsoever with King; truth be told I really couldn’t give a toss what he thinks about me. In case it’s passed people by, I’ve got pretty thick skin. But here’s the thing; when is Dave King going to start acting like a chairman of Rangers football club, and not some fan dragged out of the Broomloan Road stand?

He’s supposed to be the captain of that ship. But as it stands right now all he’s doing is saying what he thinks the supporters want to hear, playing to the galleries for all he’s worth.

He’s got season tickets to sell, of course.

He’ll be hoping the fans jump on the bandwagon of saying: ‘Dave King is one of us.’ But for me I can’t believe any reasonable-thinking Rangers supporter will buy into his latest nonsense about how Celtic are only on two-in-a-row.

A lot of them won’t like me being this critical of King but deep down I reckon the silent vast-majority will agree with me and wonder what he’s playing at. They’ll be asking why he wants to behave like this and create the headlines he’s created. It’s been a good few weeks for Rangers. They’ve signed players, brought in a new Director of Football and got rid of Mike Ashley, albeit to what extent we’re not too sure.

But on the face of it things are looking a lot better off the park than they have done lately.

But King can’t help himself, can he?

None of it makes any sense, though. Even the stuff about how Celtic should be further ahead is laughable because as things stand they’re virtually out of sight. King is just saying what comes into his head as a fan, not as the leader of a major company. Put it this way, when he was alive you wouldn’t have ever heard Apple founder Steve Jobs coming out and publicly slaughtering Microsoft or Samsung.

In fact, David Murray wouldn’t have ever done this. As an owner of a club and organisation the size of Rangers, King has a responsibility to act in a certain way.

But he’s let himself down. Again.

I just don’t know how he can think coming out with these types of statements is helpful ahead of the new season. Sure, Rangers have signed a few players but a lot of them are untested in Scotland.

If I was Dave King I’d be very, very careful about what I was saying at this moment in time.

He should be concentrating on getting a team on the park to challenge Celtic, not ludicrous statements having a go at them. At the end of the day it’s not Celtic’s fault Rangers weren’t in the top league.

They can only beat what’s in front of them and they’ve done that. Look, was there less glory in it for Celtic when Rangers weren’t there? Yeah, I’d say there was.

Celtic would have preferred to win six in a row with Rangers challenging them.

But you still can’t say the titles don’t count.

Who’s going to be next to come out, Hibs?

They weren’t in the Premier League for a few years so are they going to claim it’s not six-in-a-row for Celtic? C’mon, it’s just stupid. It would be like looking at Rodger Federer’s achievements as the most decorated men’s player in tennis. . . but saying the majors he won when Rafa Nadal wasn’t playing in don’t count. I’m sure that would wash with the ATP?

Rangers are the most decorated club in Scottish football having won the most trophies. But you can’t ignore the ones Celtic have won in the last four years, it just doesn’t work like that.

But King can’t help himself, can he?

It reminds me of the way the Rangers board were jumping up and down the day they beat Celtic in the semi-final of the Scottish Cup two seasons ago. It was a time for King and his directors to keep calm and keep their mouths shut.

But they couldn’t, could they?

The directors milked the win for all it was worth, celebrating like they’d won the Champions League, and it was a massive wake-up call for Celtic. Dermot Desmond realised there and then that Ronny Deila wasn’t up to the job and Celtic had to get their act together. So he brought in Brendan Rodgers.

Celtic are now being run properly off the park and have a great team on it – and that probably wouldn’t have been the case had the Rangers board at the time kept themselves in check. I’d go as far as to say I don’t think Brendan Rodgers would even be here as Celtic manager. And in turn, I don’t think Celtic would be as far ahead as they are right now.

For me, at a club like Rangers, you need to go about your business quietly. You get things done and take people by surprise. But that doesn’t ever seem to happen at Ibrox these days.

They’ve got a manager who loves to broadcast how he gets the players in at 5am, and they’ve got a chairman who says what he thinks the supporters want to hear. I just think Rangers need to be very, very careful because as it stands right now Celtic are in an extremely powerful position with the finances at their club.

They have such an array of talent on the pitch that they could easily accumulate £100million if they sold off their players, whereas Rangers would be lucky to raise £5million from the squad they have at this moment in time.

King should think about all of that before he opens his mouth next time. But I doubt he will.”

However prior to proceeding one should consider whether King was speaking ex Cathedra as the Chairman of RIFC or as a guy Jim White ran into in a Johannesburg boozer. On that occasion King boasted of the 28,000 bottles of wine that he had boosted from his sequestered winery. The new owner of the winery took a dim view and  demanded the return of his stock. King’s wife Ladina now uses their basement as a gym. The disgraced self-serving prick that was Peter Smith accepted King’s affidavit without challenge. Dave had just inadvertently met Jim who had popped down to South Africa for a cold one in King’s local with a complete Sky crew. It was the least King could do to invite him home for a glass of Ladina’s lemonade.

My personal favourite from the King cannon is his claim, with a straight face, that New Oasis Assets Limited (NOAL) had purchased the shares in Rangers and that he had no say in this decision. James Blair, the conveyancing consigliere, presented this lie to The Takeover Appeal Board. King and Blair chose to insult the intelligence of some of the City’s biggest swinging dicks. I’m surprised that Blair has not been struck off. Did NOAL just choose Dave King at random to be the chairman of RIFC?  This lie is coming to the Court of Session in a couple of months. King is going to be ragdolled. It could not happen to a more deserving career criminal.

Do the SMSM and the Gullibillies have the memory of goldfish? What happened to going for ’55’ and King using his family inheritance to compete with Celtic? This has evidently just been forgotten about as King sells last year’s tat like the cheap spiv we always knew him to be.

As Boyd notes, Caixinha’s Gypsey Kings are untested in Scottish football. Will the gullibillies settle for finishing second to Celtic with a thirty point deficit, rather than this season’s thirty-nine?

I demur on Boyd’s rose-tinted view of Sir Bribe & Lie. Has he forgotten SBL’s  chutzpah that for every fiver spent by Celtic, he would spend a tenner? Of course as we now know this quantum was being borrowed from the odious Bank Of Scotland for the price of a newly-tailored suit for Gavin Masterton.

News just in. Dave King has written to UEFA demanding that Celtic be stripped of their European Cup win of 1967 as Rangers did not compete in that tournament.

Are the Rangers Lite fans really this stupid? If they are they have the Chairman they deserve.











35 thoughts on “Bjorn & Benny Rail at King”

    1. I was given this piece prior to it being given editorial approval. My source still believes that it was ghost written by McCoist as Void is not the sharpest tool in the box

      1. No love lost between Salary and Glib. Nor Void and Glib.

        Heck Glib was criticizing fans yesterday.

        Glib blamed Salary in the press for not voting for the shares dilution plan.

  1. Fair play to Boyd for calling it like it is. It’s not often I believe what he says is the truth. Mainly as everything said with a straight face is normally self-serving. Makes me wonder why he’s undermining King at this time. Is a coup d’etat in the offing? The three bears belatedly moving their chess pieces to oust King before the cold shoulder gives the club frostbite?

    1. Have a look at my piece again. I was given a heads-up at 6.34 yesterday evening. The text is accurate, the author was lost in the ether. It took me five minutes to change my piece.

  2. An interesting piece. It is highly unusual for an ex Rangers player turned columnist to be critical of the club and SPECIFICALLY the chairman of that club. In fact, any references to a Rangers chairman are normally couched in deferential and fawning terms.

    But, for the most part, his article is spot on. SDM skinned his cat a different way but despite my utter contempt for him as a businessman, I cannot imagine him mouthing off such garbage.

    After his widely acclaimed ‘victory’ against the Evil Empire aka Big Mike, he seems to be high as a kite and spouting utter nonsense.

    As a reminder to him, Scottish football did quite nicely without Rangers in the top tier. His comments are massively disrespectful, not only to Celtic, but to other clubs who don’t warrant a mention.

    What did he say……..’Celtic should be further ahead than they are’? Hm, they are so far ahead both on and off the pitch that they operate in a different time zone.

    But the loudest noise in all of this nonsense is coming from Parkhead. Yes, that is the deafening sound of dignified SILENCE. Long may that continue.

  3. No matter who “wrote” this article,it is very refreshing to hear,a mostly,honest piece from within the ranks and to be critical of GASL.Just to point out,Linfield(sorry)reached the quarter finals in 1967 so can we please keep the European Cup?GF3 or GF7,care to reconsider crooked man?

  4. Does King ‘Honestly’ believe that McCoist’s Marvels, widely regarded as the worse “TEAM” to ‘””*EVER*””‘ play out of Ibroxs would have been ‘Competing’ at the ‘Top’ of the league is “Derisible” and a ‘Down-Right Lie’. The Club, as well as the Fans and the “FAWNING” Media have been nothing but a “LAUGHING STOCK” since its ‘Inception’. I see no end to their ‘Tribulations’. 🙂

  5. On a daily basis the media is reporting on what actions local authorities are undertaking in regard to the safety of residents living in tower blocks within their respective jurisdictions. Then I realised, all has been quiet of late on the issues raised about health and safety at Ibrox. Is there any updates?

  6. The byline may be Boyd’s but don’t imagine for a moment that he wrote the piece. It was ghost written for him and he was happy enough to have his name attached and receive a sizeable cheque. Reminds me of the little boy in the fable pointing out that the emperor had no clothes!!

  7. Thoroughly enjoy your articles and always look forward to them. Pensioner, so can only donate as and when. Donation made today, hopefully you can keep up the good work.

  8. Hi JJ. How much profit did Rangers make from the sale of Joe Garner, seeing as according to yourself, they only paid £250k for him? Thanks

  9. Ha ha ha JJ the “ostriches” have now morphed into “goldfish” (thanks for you and The Clumpany using my goldfish idea lol)
    But goldfish really sums them up to a T, they have the same memory retention ans forget all the same lies told every season. In Glasgow we have a saying for people like King, WARMER (meaning a complete idiot, full of his own imporance)
    Sent £20 as my contribution for your exclusives

    JJ: Received with thanks TA 67

  10. Further to my exclusive from yesterday with regard to Dave King receiving his Stephen Covey award for Motivation and Leadership (awarded by Celtic), I can exclusively reveal that he has been sent another award and trophy from Parkhead.

    I have received unique access to a letter sent to King from Peter Lawwell which I would like to share with you on this award winning Speakeasy.

    Dear Mr King,

    First of all, I would like to congratulate you on a stunning first season in the Scottish premiership. I do feel somewhat remiss in not congratulating you last year when your new club rose from the fourth tier of Scottish football and, apart from the odd hiccup, Rangers rose to the challenge. Winning the Petrofac Training Cup was a real feather in the cap. We, at Celtic, have never competed for that competition let alone win it. Getting to two of those finals (one lost, one won) was some achievement for a new club.

    But I digress. When Rangers won the Championship just over a year ago, I spotted a photo of you embracing the trophy ON THE PITCH. I wanted to write to you at that very moment, but I forgot. I was distracted by our forthcoming European draw.

    But as a newcomer to the top table, I wanted to say that at the highest levels, the pitch is for the players and the manager. It is highly vulgar for the ‘suits’ to be on the pitch collecting trophies.

    Here at Celtic, Brendan does the talking off the pitch. His players do the talking on the pitch and, as you have noticed, boy, do they talk. Incessant chatter. Incessant winning. And all those trophies! Boy, that gets noisy.

    But I would never appear on the pitch as you did. Nope, we have standards. Well, I WOULD be on the pitch if Brendan wanted me in a wide role. But I understand that’s your favourite position! Only a little joke Dave!

    My attention has been drawn to your comments to suggest that we should strive to be better, to win more ‘things’, and that in the absence of the old club which is awaiting liquidation, well, we had a rather splendid season. I know that you are resident in South Africa, but let me give you a heads up. We, at Celtic, won the treble and were undefeated domestically. Perhaps we need to raise that bar as you suggest.

    With regard to your suggestion that we have secured ‘two in a row’, may I again remind you that the club which you chair is a NEW club. You are jolly fortunate to have been granted a license to play in the fourth tier and could easily have been thrown out of Scottish football altogether.

    My staff tell me that you weee involved with the collapse of the ‘old’ Rangers and that you have surrounded yourself by folks who witnessed our oldest rivals perish. Personally, I miss that rivalry. But, hey, clubs come and go.

    We at Celtic are noted for doing things in the right way at the right time coupled with standards of excellence.

    In an attempt to reach out to your new club, I have already sent you the prodigious Covey award.

    Today, I am sending you another. It is a gold plated trophy which we, at Celtic, would like to be displayed in your magnificent trophy room. That trophy room features a bike from St Etienne, but doesn’t feature the really important one.

    Again, I digress. In light of your recent interviews and constant references to our magnificent club. We have sent you something important, to stand alongside that St Etienne bike.

    Yes. We have sent you a spade. It is engraved and we, at Celtic, trust that every time you think about giving an interview, think about our spade.


    Peter Lawwell.

    1. Excellent TM, quite excellent; just a pity the real thing will not be making it’s way by air pigeon to an address somewhere in the Republic of SA!

    2. The only problem is,do CELTIC see this club as a new club? Why ask fans to pay extra for games against a club going for one? Unless there is an agenda……

  11. Great fun ensues at the Big Hoose as the chairman ( well not exactly the chairman but you get my drift ) sups some of momma’s moonshine and says the first thing that comes into his empty head . But the most disturbing thing about his whole unhinged rant is the deference and blind obedience from the SMSM to all things Ibrox . It really is starting to resemble North Korea with the pages of fake news and spin , very concerning in a supposedly forward thinking nation . Donation made before returning to the sea and resuming the toil , keep at them , the Dam will burst .

  12. CFC Should ,as TM says above , stay absolutely silent for the time being .
    Even though the agreed guilty 8 EBT players mean all 5 of the titles should stripped from Rangers anyway they CFC should wait until the SC is finished
    Were it me regardless of the outcome I would then force the SFA etc to act and stuff 17 or 18 inaro right down Kings and his fan boys throats and market the hell out of it when the time comes .

  13. Dear CC Lying King (ACCA in post), you seem to forget your plucky newco were hammered 6-1 (sic) by Motherwell in the 2015 play off – an aggregate beyond the reach of even the most one-eyed brother bear. So you’re plucky newco were not present in 2015/16 top tier due to a hammering from the side that finished 11th. Oh, but you think the 2016 title was ‘tainted!’ Okay King, you pished yabbering jakey, I’m sure the side gubbed 6-1 by Motherwell would have pushed CFC all the way just like you did Hibs in the Scottish Cup final. And on your first ever season in the top flight, we in Scottish football know your plucky newco would have been more than 39 points adrift (yawning chasm) without the helping red hand and its honest mistakes. Watching the video refereeing in the Confederations Cup gives hope that one day we’ll see a level playing field in Scottish football and the removal of the brother bear. Of course by then your plucky Sevco will likely have self immolated. I actually doubt you will survive 2018 without the revenue from Europa group stages. Yes, it’s 2011 all over again folks. Just a shame the SFA who handing out the bent licenses are not also doing the draws for the rounds. Shame that.

  14. Nice of Boyd to present his rant and attempt to fool all that Rangers are not a myth and that King is the legtimate chairman of the tribute act. Byod knows they died and in dying are no longer Rangers so in effect Celtic are 6 in a row ahead of the main contenders Aberdeen and the rest and one ahead of the new team, but he will contribute to the lie the new club who entered are the old rangers magically liquidation nothing happeneed here club, as he also makes a few quid from the other liars MSM.
    People will not like me for criticising he states, it not criticising, thats when you confront a debateable truth or lie, this is laughing and questioning the fans sanity, if King and numpties think this stuff is taken seriously, wow we have a serious education problem in this country. The reporter (snigger) who wrote this and interviewed king must have been on crack not have broke into hysterics or else he was a mouthpiece, in other words a wanker for the media myth.

  15. I’ve just started reading your blog over the weekend JJ and have just happily donated £10 to help with the running costs. This will be re-curring on a monthly basis. I will be more of an avid reader of both article and comments than an actual contributor (not through choice, time just gets in the way unfortunately). You are the only guy who consistently exposes King and his entourage for what they have been, what they stand for now and what they’re likely to amount to in the future.

    Keep it coming!!

  16. I’m presuming Keech and Jabba stitched King up on this one.

    Jabba tells Keech “write it’s his finest hour and stroke him, he’ll believe his own press. His ego is as big as a planet. I’ll then whisper in his ear that he needs to milk this golden period for everything, Play to the lowest common denominator and attack Celtic to get the passion up for ticket sales. He’ll make a tit of himself as usual but we’ll sell papers”

    Keech replies ok ok Got it. We still want him out yeah? Jabba: Yeah! He’s last year’s man!

    1. Jabba: I’m the most important man in Scottish football. I decide the office bearers at RIFC. As soon as they stop milking the bears to pay for me they’re out.

      Did yir Maw git that wee £10k conservatory? [wink]. Keech: aye, ta. Jabba: happy wae yir awards tae? Keech: oh aye! Jabba: keep yir nose clean kid and dae as yir told an u won’t be axed like last year’s men.

  17. Ha ha ha, just heard that dodgy Dave may have pulled off ANOTHER CON on the gullibles. Apparently quite a few loyal denisons have not received their paid for in advance season tickets. It transpires that the well oiled, fully functiioning ticket office at Sevco has RUN OUT OF THE PLASTIC SEASON TICKETS. Someone forgot to tell this well run ticket office that at the start of a new season when fans are buying said season tickets they might need to order ENOUGH TICKETS to satisfy demand. Oh dear never mind Dave is home counting the money already, not his problem.

  18. “But here’s the thing; when is Dave King going to start acting like a chairman of Rangers football club, and not some fan dragged out of the Broomloan Road stand?”

    He isn’t the chairman of the football club and has never been on the board of the football club. That would involve the SFA clearing him as fit and proper, which they didn’t want to do.

    He is chairman of a PLC which owns the shares in the football club. The redtops, radio and tv treat him as if he was the chairman of the football club, that doesn’t make it true.

  19. Emergency loans in June… ie not enough cash in the bank to pay the wages. ST money coming in installments. Signing on fees for an virtual new squad whilst still paying the wages of 90% of the old discredited squad. What will happen when this version of Rangers gets kicked out of Europe inside a month? Will the penny finally drop? When the Cold Shoulder is applied do they not realise that that applies to a freeze in the Transfer Market. ie no ability to move on second rate players. Does King really think he has snubbed the Takeover Panel with impunity? the next few months will be interesting.

  20. Why does Kris Boydychenko and others keep reverting to King as the ” chairman of rangers football club”…….he isn’t …….

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