Having played his last lacklustre game for Preston North End in the English Championship on the 16th August last year, Liquidation-Denier Chris Union Jack announced to the gullibillies that Joe Garner had been signed for £1.8m. It was a lie of the first ordure created by James Traynor and repeated verbatim by Clotted Weir’s cub reporter. Rumour has it that Jack’s dental retainer spells out WATP. The undisclosed fee was then reported on Transfermarkt at £1.47m. Traynor played it down as he anticipated more scrutiny than would be evident in the SMSM. The Lite-facing sports hacks love nothing more than a Doctored Feelgood narrative to shift copy. This site has more hits on a daily basis than there are sales at The Herald and its Engine Room Subsidiary, The Evening Times.
However they are not the only Glasgow organs on the slide, with sales at The Rectum at an all time low of 147,000. With a year-on-year slump of 16.4% it’s evident that only the lowest common denominator of Lite fans continue to read The Rectum. Those who argue the toss for their online coverage should note that their parent group, Trinity Mirror, has been subject to a year-on-year collapse of its share price of 21.64%.
So after thirty-one Scottish Premiership games, twenty-one starts and ten games in which he came on as a substitute, Garner is now back in The English Championship at a lower ranked club in Ipswich. With seven goals and more head bandages than one is likely to see in an episode of MASH, Transfermarkt are reporting his ‘undisclosed’ fee at £935,000.
Which begs one question:
Did Rangers take a £900,000 bath on Joe Garner?
Liquidation-Denier Jack is deftly avoiding this apparent loss as he knows that his original figure of £1.8m was, as James Joyce was want to say, shite and onions.
Let’s look at the facts. A football agent source revealed that the actual quantum received by Preston North End was £225,000.
Joe Garner is one of the worst players I have ever seen in light blue. He made Dodo seem relevant. Shifting him at cost was a good bit of business given that his market value on Transfermarkt has slumped to £510,000. At 29 he should be in his prime scoring goals for fun. However he chose to headbutt defenders with a view to inducing concussion.
Garner was a one-man guided missile of North Korean manufacture.
He was lucky to get out of dodge prior to the cull. Players are being sent home from training with impunity. They know that their former manager was ‘resigned’ and that if they took matters to the PFA, former Rangers player Fraser Wishart might not have their best interests at heart. Thumb over third knuckle handshakes would be the ordure of the day.
Why would anyone ever choose to play for a club who treat their coaches and players with contempt? Why would any promising player choose to play for a club with a holding group chairman who is a criminal balloon who makes as much sense as Sly Stallone on helium?
The cream of Scottish players have turned their backs on Rangers Lite, with players such as Scott Allan preferring to play in Celtic’s reserve squad than a guaranteed start in Lite’s midfield.
After the debacle of ‘Going For 55’, Joey Barton and Dave King on acid, can we look forward to Caixinha’s Gypsey Kings with any confidence?