We’re All Off To Pedro In The Green

Padre Pedro has made an executive decision. From now on green boots are forbidden. Everyone who has a boot deal will have to revert to their sponsor and request a blue or orange livery. Is this the best he can do to curry favour with the Lite supporters? Will coming second and losing out at the semi-finals stages (after an improbable run of home ties courtesy of mendacious McRae and his team of fixers) in the Scottish Cup be forgiven as long as the players are not wearing green boots? Why not go all the way and follow the Orangemen’s lead by prohibiting walking on grass? Will Pedro request Kentucky blue grass for Ibrox.? Will he ban playing snooker on the green baize?

Eenie Meenie Miney Minnow – perfect for my hot balled Lite, drawn first to ensure home tie. Note to Stewart: who can we get next year for the early rounds to distract the Taigs? How about leading Orangeman, Chris De Burgh?

It’s petty Pedro. Given that Puma can see King far enough, is the Orange strip sop not available? Your career rests on one game. If you do not proceed to the second qualifying round of the Europa League you will get your jotters. Forcing a change of boots before this critical second leg is absolute folly.

Get a grip lads or I’ll invite Captain Incorrigible Richard Gough round to do the teapot.”


Now ordinarily a game against a Luxembourg Juniors outfit would be a walk in the park, or are these off-limits? Would it surprise you to know Pedro that you have a mole in your camp. Allow me to share with you his insights on your squad:

Waghorn: lazy fat cunt. Wingers: fannies. Centre back ok but slack.
Colombian striker ok good runner but no real class. Not
improved the team yet. Alves and Dorrans obviously
improvements but as yet they look no better.”

Charlie Miller was at the closed door game v St. Johnstone. His assessment was that Pedro’s squad were so flat and so lacking in tempo that it was incredible. With the hindsight of the lacklustre Progres game, Mr. Miller is evidently a good judge.

One is left with the unequivocal conclusion that the team has gone backwards under Pedro’s charge. Deary, deary me. All those season tickets sold on false promises by that nice Mr. King. Surely a real Rangers man would not be economical with the truth?



19 thoughts on “We’re All Off To Pedro In The Green”

  1. Donation sent ref 5262-3949-3947-xxxx
    Sorry I’ve missed a couple of months but been off on the sick.

    JJ: Received with thanks

  2. If the team is as bad as they seem then the results will be unforgivable. My pick for tonight is a Lite win on penalties. No honest mistakes by European refs. If they lose Pedro could be gone before the season starts.

    1. Oh you really dont want that to happen do you? At the very least you should let them survive until Limassol beat them home and away.

      Pedro surely must stay for the comedy value and we should start a book on what he will ban or implement next?

  3. Apologies JJ for being so long in donating – Small Donation just made thru PayPal!
    Trust life is being made easier and stay safe Pal!

  4. Pedro is losing the plot and level5 PR under big jabba are trying their hardest to get him out the door. The lite really are a comedy act watp going to be painted all over ibrokes to put fear into the opponents more likely to cause mass hysterical laughter. Will the orange order go the same way as the lite and march not to Glasgow green but ask GCC to change it to Glasgow blue.

  5. Alves to my knowledge has just returned from Russia … not sure if he has even arrived in Scotland as yet … Dorrans ? Has the transfer finally gone through or is it the fella from Aberdeen you mean ?
    It even made the papers here about him banning the green boots … madness … he has been drinking the Koolaid … hopefully Progres will make sure they do not progress into the next round
    Confused of Porto

  6. As for the green boots and the stupid watp thing, we all know “Jabba Traynor” is behind all this, Pedro is a clown, just like years ago when MCoist got Gazza to his “flute playing thing” he was too stupid to know the connetations but fat Sally knew exactly, same as Traynor. Shame on them, pandering to the lowest of the low among their support to curry favour

  7. 8H5042807R96xxxx
    JJ, apologies for tardiness of donation. Month of June spent largely in Cambodia, Vietnam and entertaining family visiting here.
    Keep up the wonderful work and stay safe matey.
    Clearly Pedro the Puppet will have his strings slashed a toute vitesse if he fails tonight. What a scenario that would be! I’m sure even some at the Rectum can’t resist preparing in advance headlines such us “that’s Progres(s)?” and the likes.
    Surely even Lite cannot be that poor to lose the tie when already leading 1-0? That would usurp Celtic’s loss to Lincoln Red Imps tenfold.
    Pedro will be wearing his brown corduroys tonight I reckon…..

    1. Progres should not be participating in UEFA tournaments. They are as abject as they come. Lite should be fitter and win comfortably. The FFP sting is the one to watch.

  8. Hello JJ. Amnesty payment made, ref: 8SK6528655U59xxxx. I’m an avid reader of your Speakeasy. Please keep up the great work. Regards.

  9. I’m not sure I get the ‘won’t vote for independence while we have orange walks’ comments; but we’ll stay in with a union that facilitates these throughout the UK!
    As much as I detest these retards it doesn’t keep me awake at night and it’s not something I look for when casting my vote.
    Donation made as promised.

    1. Great as usial jj.. the FFP what ye thinking?? That the defeated team can appeal about another clubs finances. ?? Surely that has to come from uefa.??

    1. There is no need for private communication. You will find the PayPal button on the left hand margin of any PC or laptop, but not necessarily on mobile devices.

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