The Ibrox Condom

I take a lot of flak on this site for adding some exclusives to my narrative. When a source at Woolgar Hunter apprised me of the fact that three of the stand roofs would have to be lifted to replace the connectors, I was derided. However word has now ‘leaked’ out that my exclusive on the specific problem and the quantum was accurate. A figure of £7m is now being bandied about but this is conservative. If all the connectors have to be replaced and panels on the stand roofs reaffixed or replaced a quantum north of £10m would be closer to the mark. When Ibrox is described as ‘The Crumble Dome‘ it’s amusing because it’s true.

Dave King asserted that the remedial work would be done seamlessly in the background. When one translates his mendacious Limpopo vernacular into his former Queen’s English, what he is actually doing is kicking this problem into the long grass as Douglas and Graeme Park have had quite enough of throwing good money after bad. As soon as The Cold Shoulder takes hold there will be no equity for loans transactions as they will be suspended. Any UK Plc with King as chairman will pay a high price. But then what did one expect from a career criminal? Integrity?

As for ‘seamlessly’ I present by way of rebuttal The Ibrox Condom:

As opposed to repairing the broken glass and permanently arresting the ingress of water, The Old Lady of Edmiston Drive has to suffer a permanent condom in her petticoats. How discomfiting.

Even the fandans at Rangers Lite’s Social Media platform for the gay supporter, Follow Follow, are wondering what has happened to their Pink Pound? Has Primark Pedro spent the kitty and the tea money on his motley crew of second tier journeymen? There is even chatter about no titles being won this season. Another year in the doldrums? I warned them about King but they refused to listen.

When the Red 32 contact runs out will Durex consider Ibrox as a viable totem?

As one flies east over the crumbling infrastructure, the contrast is stark. Celtic have secured yet another group stage berth. Should Liverpool progress tomorrow evening, Celtic will be in Pot 4 of Thursday’s draw in Monaco. Roberts will put pen to paper and there is talk of a new centre half arriving from Ajax Cape Town. Rodgers will strengthen his squad.

Will Rangers be more than 39 points adrift this season? If only they could have wrappped a condom over their support they could have precluded the arrest of an EDL supporter who was taken into custody for inviting the Pope to have sexual congress with himself. It must be comforting to have the Orange Ordure and the EDL in the Ibrox mix.

One can but hope that they don’t have unprotected sex as their offspring could be the worst of both worlds; a Hitler Youth if you will. Safe sex with the Ibrox Condom should be mandatory.

 

 

 

 

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