“For the fifth labor, Eurystheus ordered Hercules to clean up King Augeas’ stables. Hercules knew this job would mean getting dirty and smelly, but sometimes even a hero has to do these things.” Greek Mythology.
I was born in a slum. The tenement stairwell was strewn with dog shit. Individuals, who could not spell civic responsibility, threw their trash directly out of their windows to the area reserved for the bins. One of my many chores was to take the family’s trash to this designated area and avoid being bitten by rats. As I passed by the first floor I was patted on the head by sailors who smoked Gitanes as they awaited their turn with the Filipina prostitute who had an indeterminate number of children.
However I had two things in my favour. I had an ability to play football and I was smart. The latter attribute led to a grammar school education. I was taught the classics. My peers left school early to work in the shipyards. I on the other hand was destined to be the first bearing my family’s name to attend university.
I have had to struggle all my life. A struggle against bigotry and class. I continue to struggle to run our site. But wiser men than I have opined that we were not put on this earth to enjoy ourselves. The American Constitution includes provision for the pursuit of happiness. I won’t be happy until we clean out The Augean Stables of Scottish Football governance.
Will it be a Herculean task to clean out the corrupt self-serving cabal who run the game that we love? No-one should be under any illusions on how difficult this will be. We will need resolve and wit. If legal redress is available to us we must give generously.
I and others have written thousands of words on what ails us. This is my ninetieth article in a series of one hundred. Will there be articles after the one hundredth is published? Will this site celebrate its second anniversary on September 19? This remains to be seen. I solicited feedback on a paywall. The overwhelming majority of my readers are opposed to it. So be it. Those who wish to comment on The Sitonfence Speakeasy may do so whether they have made a donation or not.
I will seek the support of my readers in the International category of this year’s Football Blogging Awards. I invite those who are unwaged and disadvantaged to make a positive contribution by voting. I have always looked out for you so please look out for me. I cannot thank enough those who have contributed to the upkeep of our site. Our site’s future is in their generous hands.
One of my readers, who claims to support Celtic and Boca Juniors, has invited me to Argentina to stay with his family. He has very kindly offered to pay the cost of an economy flight to Buenos Aires. He knowns that Diego Maradona is my hero. I’m truly excited by this opportunity. An opportunity that I would like to share with my readers via a number of articles.
Now it could be an elaborate plan by one of my haters to lure me out of hiding to assassinate me. Should this be the case you won’t hear from me again.
I digress. To clean out the Augean stables effectively we need to establish the scope of this Herculean task. Four men stand in our path. Messrs Longmuir, Ballantyne, Doncaster and Regan. All four were set to transfer Rangers’ SPL share to Sevco Scotland on July 4, 2012. Rangers voted for this transfer. Kilmarnock abstained. The other football chairman, under pressure from their club’s supporters, vetoed this plan.
The plan that was cooked up was to confer all the titles won by Rangers to Sevco Scotland, minus fifteen that were deemed to be unsound. When this proposal was spiked they bullied the chairmen of SFL clubs to parachute Sevco Scotland into their top tier. Regan spoke about Armageddon and social unrest in public. Behind closed doors he asserted that if the chairmen did not accept his proposal they would be in breach of their fiduciary duties. The SFL chairman would not be bullied. They voted by an overwhelming majority that Sevco Scotland must set out on its journey from tier three.
At this point the plot thickens. Jim Ballantyne, a die-hard Rangers fan and shareholder in the former club, conspired with David Longmuir, another dyed in the wool Rangers man, to confer all the titles won by Rangers to the Frankenstein club. They had created a monster. It was carefully concealed in their laboratory.
In due course Longmuir was paid handsomely to walk away while Ballantyne engaged in sexual triangles with his wife and her female lover. The fix was in.
When the SFL merged with the SPL to form the SPFL, Doncaster embraced the fix by stating that Rangers had survived liquidation and continued with their unbroken history. It was a lie of Herculean proportions.
A commission was established to look at the 12 seasons in which Rangers failed to fully register their players’ contracts. This was a threat to The Frankenstein Club. Stewart Regan shoehorned himself onto the panel of the commission and ensured that an e-mail from HMRC to MIH, in which the former alleged fraudulent activity, played no part in LNS’ deliberations. The scant evidence led included 29 heavily redacted documents. LNS concluded that EBT were a legitimate means of tax avoidance and as other clubs could have availed themselves of its tax efficacy there was no competitive advantage to Rangers; ergo no points deduction and no title stripping.
Fast forward to the present day and we find that the SFA are hiding behind the robes of the conveyancing consigliere Gerry Moynihan while Doncaster and McKenzie are engaging in a whitewash roadshow.
Doncaster has revealed that there are no sanctions in their regulations that deal with tax evasion. In his game of governance tennis, he plays a rasping backhand cross court to Stewart Regan who is caught out of position. There may be no rules in Scottish football to address Rangers’ systemic tax malfeasance – let’s call it what it is: a blatant fraud – but there are rules on social taxes at UEFA.
Much has been made of the SFA’s licence application to UEFA that allowed Rangers to compete in 2011/2012 qualifiers, but little has been made of equally flawed licence applications in 2000, 2003, 2005, 2009 and 2010.
Rangers were not paying their social taxes. They were engaging in fraudulent disguised remuneration schemes. As Hugh Adam stated in 2002, they knew that they were cheating.
One can but conclude that the SFA were complicit in this cheating apropos UEFA licence applications.
When cleaning out the faeces of the goat herd one must pause to consider Sandy Bryson’s nadir when he stated that the players were imperfectly registered but eligible. Only a fraction of their contracts had been declared. The bulk of their earnings was being paid off the books. This was not imperfect. This was fraudulent.
Of course at this juncture the Greyfriar’s Bobbies dropped by Campbell Ogilvie as he lied to and subverted the LNS commission must also be swept away.
Into this breach steps a solicitor, a junior counsel and senior counsel. Make no mistake that both the SFA and SPFL are bound by the laws of the land. It’s high time a judge wiped their smug smiles off their faces.
When Ralph Topping expounded on a better time when we were all in the dark or in the midst of an SMSM pea-souper, he harked back to the days when the upstart laddies in the public house were told to pipe down by the seasoned wisdom of age.
No-one will ever tell me to pipe down. I won’t rest until their Dystopian Carthage is sacked. If these bastards want a Punic war let’s give it them.