My exclusive news that Kenny Miller was not ‘rested’ but subject to an enforced absence due to his ridicule of ‘Banger’ Caixinha’s training methods has not gone down well at Auchenhowie. Who would have thought that they hang on my every word?
Slim Shady Traynor would like us all to believe that the team are thriving in invigorating hydroponic team baths, before donning their kaftans and making daisy chains as laurels for each other, while singing:
However the prosaic facts of the matter is that Jupiter is not aligning with Mars. Kenny was called in for a tea with no biscuits meeting with Slim Shady. No biscuits for Kenny at least, but the rustling in Traynor’s pockets betrayed the presence of a rogue comestible:
Slim Shady knows that there is a tsunami of bad news coming down the pike. The Chairman’s statement as a foreword to the accounts will almost certainly be his last. Who can doubt that it will be a quintessential compound of mendacity and chutzpah? King has honed his crooked craft while manipulating the improbable returns of his corporate confidence trick, MHG.
A nugget of information from Micromega Holding’s annual report of 2011 is instructive. MICROmega implemented a whistle blowing policy in 2011 in order to demonstrate its commitment to working towards a culture of fairness, openness and transparency.
In conjunction with the whistle blowing policy, the MICROmega Holdings Ethics Hotline, which remains independently operated by KPMG, provides employees with a mechanism to anonymously bring any unethical business practices to the attention of management. All reports received from the Ethics Hotline are forwarded to the designated representatives at MICROmega and to the Audit Committee for review and consideration is made as to whether the action taken by the designated representative was appropriate or whether further action is required. No incidents were reported.
One of the many charges levelled against KPMG in South Africa is that they colluded in an attempt for the Guptas (an Indian-born South African business family with a finger in every pie) to take over SARS and to destroy honest tax inspectors who were allegedly part of a rogue investigation unit. Current leaks and investigations show this all to be fantasy.
When one reverts to 2014 one will note the slew of web stories that appeared suggesting that King’s multiple tax convictions could be without substance because of this rogue unit.
Isn’t it interesting to note that KPMG had a business relationship with Mr King through the administration of Micromega’s ethics committee? Surely this august accountancy firm was not lobbying on King’s behalf?
Should I blow the whistle on their conspiracy to undermine SARS?
You have got to hand it to King. When it comes to being a career criminal King takes the Club Orange.
With a budget that is stretched by cones and bibs, Auchenhowie is little more than a soup kitchen to the two groups who refuse to break bread together. Kenny has let it be known that there will be no ‘Johnny Foreigners‘ in his WhatsApp group. The Rangers Lite boot camp is not a pluralistic society. One can but hope that Kenny is not sent to the ‘naughty step’ and told to report for training at 5 a.m.
As the Lite charabanc limps forward with fuel siphoned from a Parks of Hamilton bus, the envy of the accounts posted by Celtic plc is as green as the driver’s screening glass. The headlines are as follows:
Group revenue increased by 74.2% to £90.6m
Operating expenses increased by 33.3% to £76.3m
Gain on sale of player registrations of £2.3m (2016: £12.6m)
Profit before taxation of £6.9m (2016: £0.5m)
Year-end cash net of bank borrowings of £17.9m (2016: £3.6m)
Investment in football personnel of £13.8m (2016: £8.8m)
There are a number of takeaways from these as yet unaudited highlights. One knew that year-on-year revenue would be improved as the 6-month results of £61.2m were indicative of an upward trend. However a 74.2% increase is unprecedented. Champions League revenue, and the box-office generated by The Brendan Rodgers effect, have added circa £40m to the P&L.
A pre-tax profit of almost £7m is not too shabby. This is the kind of quantum that Lite will need to complete their season.
Almost £18m in cash despite £5m more expended on football personnel suggests that the board have a firm grip on the tiller. If player registrations disposal had been at the same level as 2016, Celtic plc would be a £100m company. If Van Dyke eventually gets a move to Liverpool, next year’s results will be fast approaching this quantum.
With these figures underpinning Celtic’s success, ten-in-a-row is a realistic prospect. Only blatant referee bias of the type last seen in the Struth era, and complacency, stand in the path of the Invincible Celtic Juggernaut.