Rangers 0 Celtic 2: Mr Bean Loses The Plot

The fact that Rangers Lite lost to Celtic would not have come as a surprise to any readers of our site. Five hours prior to kick-off I was exclusively apprised of the Lite line up which I duly published on our Speakeasy as a comment; and on Twitter in the format in which it was received. Brendan Rodgers, who is an excellent ambassador for his club, said all the right things in the run-up to the game about his focus being on his own team, but even he must have been surprised by the Lightweight Lite Eleven, with three foals on the bench accompanied by Old Dobbin Miller.

I also exclusively revealed on this site that Miller and Mr Bean had to be separated by players as the veteran striker responded to being excluded from the first eleven with some paint-stripping invective. The prosaic facts of the matter are that Miller and Whispering Grass Wallace don’t rate Bean. They are of the view that he is a second-rate coach who has hired second-rate players; second-rate players who are not in any way superior to those that were in Warburton’s squad.

Miller may have a point. Pena looked leggy, displaying none of the fleet of foot that he is renowned for when it’s his round in a West End watering hole. Morelos who should have been sent off for two yellow card offences – his simulation in the box went unpunished – would not get a game in the Celtic Under 16s. As for Bean’s claim that McCrorie will be a future Scotland centre-half, was he referring to the women’s team? He was so slow to respond to a loose ball in the box that Rogic could have paused to tie his laces prior to launching a full-blooded shot into the roof of the net.

Patrick Roberts was on fire. Having quickly tucked Hodson in his pocket, Roberts then waltzed past McCrorie as if he was a training cone, which in many ways he was. Roberts’ slide-rule pass to Griffiths left McCrorie floundering as Celtic’s veteran striker put the game to bed. In the final fifteen minutes Celtic could have doubled this lead and would not have been flattered by the scoreline. Lite were lame and lacklustre. Pay peanuts – get monkeys – comes to mind.

However the worst performer yesterday was not on the park. Mr Bean lied to the media when he asserted that he told Brown that he would not push him around. My mole informs me that when he squared up to Brown on the touchline Bean actually stated:  “You’re a fucking cheat.”

Brown responded: “I’ll have a job tomorrow morning.”

If Bean was trying to unnerve or intimidate Brown then his efforts were as flat as his team’s performance. Brown continued to dominate midfield, making dummies out of Lite’s midfield imposters.

What Bean did next was beyond the pale. He challenged Brown to a fight in the tunnel. Brown laughed in his face as Bean’s assistants bundled him away. It must be the bull (shit) fighter in his bloodline as per the SMSM puff pieces.

Was Mr. Bean interviewed and hired on Skype? Even career-criminal King, who will soon be wearing a scarf to ward off the effects of a cold shoulder, is quick to distance himself from Graeme Park’s hire.

Eleven points from a possible twenty-one does not bode well for Mr Bean’s tenure. His charges squeaked home against Motherwell and could only yield one point from a possible six when hosting the Capital’s clubs. Ross County and Dundee, the fodder clubs, were quick to surrender six points but Lite looked like Glasgow’s third club when earning an undeserved point against a ten-man Partick Thistle. Should Motherwell follow their League Cup QF success against Aberdeen with a win in today’s SPFL fixture, Lite will find themselves in sixth place.

A concatenation of shit creek and the conspicuous absence of a paddle comes to mind.


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21 thoughts on “Rangers 0 Celtic 2: Mr Bean Loses The Plot”

  1. It’s of my opinion that Pedro has lost touch with reality, but his only ‘Saving Grace’ it that he is quite happy to be led by Traynor. Keeping 40,000 ‘BIGOTS’ on his side is beyond him no matter the rhetoric. Sadly he has to go. 🙂

    1. Pedro is being cut some slack by media. Dr venglos was slaughtered by press he was fluent in 6 languages and was a coach of the highest quality. Having won the European championship and of course brought one of the finest talents in football to the east end of Glasgow “lubo”. Ronnie was slaughtered by the Glasgow hacks. Yet he still brought in the vast majority of the current squad. And won the Premier league twice in his 2 year reign along with league cup. Pedro’s riding on pegasus the winged horse of myth

  2. 57 unbeaten games in a row and no sign of it ending. When it becomes 100 unbeaten games in a row that’s another treble and Invincible season. Will there still be a Rangers when that happens?
    Rangers problem is not their manager but the quality of their players. They are not the unaffordable EBT stars of the cheating years. They are average quality SPFL players. I think the fans are finally starting to realise that they are totally outclassed. I gained the impression that every Rangers fan in their head if not heart expected a Celtic win. That expectation marks a sea change in thinking. It is the tipping point.

    1. It’s nearly three years since bullish (bullshit) King took forced control.

      It’s all in his lap. It rests at his door.

      Ashley, his executives and the Easdales would have Sevco a strong regular second with Newcastle loans.

      Rumour Sevco are erecting a bronze statue to the Pedro bullfighter bullshit:


      Check the napper!

    2. fisiani says:
      September 24, 2017 at 10:19 am
      Rangers problem is not their manager but the quality of their players. They are not the unaffordable EBT stars of the cheating years.

      You are making a connection of no sense this is not Rangers who cheated they were liquidated, this is a new club who call themselves Rangers and they never had cheats in the team, they do however have them on the board .

  3. JJ, that’s the best summation of the game I’ve read this morning, do you not think you should send your CV to the Rectum , you don’t even need to go into the office or go to any games just sit on the couch and fax in your report.

  4. Fantastic reading all week JJ, I appreciate your continued works on various issues, but especially all things going on down govan way. I think in fairness I was willing to give hedgerow Pedro a fair bit of time to settle in as a new manager, but after all his stupid, and I will talk about anything but the actual result, style comment’s, I like all fair minded people have come to the conclusion that he is a joke manager. The type of manager you only remember for being a total failure, a laughing stock. All that said I hope he stays and continues to entertain us all with his views on, well everything and everyone, but not the football results. Cheers JJ.

  5. wee dicky wilsons bbc report on ra match is breathtaking….. its the original report of two halves….. copious words are wasted on…… it was our reserve eleven, bruno rather be on the algarve,not so bravehart wallace took a sicky, the wonderfully sevco named new full back De Klan John had to go the the cardiff eisteddford, but you really know why he’s known to friends as Dick when, he insists dancing danny la rue wilson was missed…….. ffs…….oh then the benches are no fair, celtic picked all the big boys…….and finally celtic edged home, with no mention of the future scotland centre half selling the jerseys, twice over………..

  6. Who knows, perhaps Pedro will yet come good, although it looks increasingly unlikely. That’s why I wish I hated the guy, so I could wallow in his misfortune, but try as I might I can feel nothing but pity for him as he’s clearly a fish out of water and seems sure to feel the dull clunk of ‘the priest’ on his head ( anglers will get the reference).

    I was told that the first thing former Rangers player Ian Ferguson did when running out onto Celtic park was to spit on the ground. I don’t know if it’s true but if it was it was a disgusting gesture. No less disgusting was Lee Griffiths wiping snot on an IOUbrox corner flag yesterday. Please keep banging in the goals Lee, but please cut out the nonsense, especially in such a combustable atmosphere.

    1. I completely agree on Griffiths. Why does he feel the need to blatantly wind up the home support in such a combustible fixture, totally unnecessary and unprofessional.

  7. Rangers vanguard bearsor club 1872, should demand all the players and managers that received loans from their club, should start making payments of 5 ,000 per month each. after all they most have had. 10 years interest free on there loans

  8. “Boxer was the admiration of everybody. He had been a hard worker even in Jones’s time, but now he seemed more like three horses than one; there were days when the entire work of the farm seemed to rest on his mighty shoulders. From morning to night he was pushing and pulling, always at the spot where the work was hardest. He had made an arrangement
    with one of the cockerels to call him in the mornings half an hour earlier than anyone else, and would put in some volunteer labour at whatever seemed to be most needed, before the regular day’s work began. His answer to every problem, every setback, was `I will work harder!’ which he had adopted as his personal motto.”

    Animal Farm by George Orwell

    Given the above might not “Boxer Miller” rather than “Old Dobbin Miller” be an appropriate soubriquet for the old warhorse?

  9. JJ
    Usual monthly contribution-payment no 5PE992513B848403K

    Happy to state that with the info you supply this is the best value for money that I experience each month!

    Any insights as to when we might hear if a judicial enquiry has been approved?

  10. Douglas Park and his wee boy are going to be parted by King to the tune of £50,000,000 in the next few years. Yes PC was Graeme Park’s hire. You reap what you sow…. well done Douglas and Graeme – real Rangers men who drove the terrible Charles of Orange from our sandy shores. Bet Charles is laughing all the way to the bank watching the farce which is Rangers FC now.

    No vision
    No values
    No money
    No leadership
    No quality football players
    No quality football management
    No quality youth system
    No European football
    No quality executive management
    No quality shareholders other than fans

    To be fair PC has not been supported by management. Like Warburton he says all the right things but someone needed to dig deep and spend £30,000,000 on buying a new football team. Thats just not happened and never will. Alls well. Paul Murray’s enjoying the beef pies in the Blue Room. Settle down lads and don’t panic everything is fine the bouffant is here to save RFC.

    It was the ease of Celtic’s victory and their swagger which bothered me. We didn’t batten down the hatches and keep our shape for 90 mins playing on the counter. Two errors and game over but our old firm rivals were all over us and dominated all 90 mins and could have had 4 or 5 again. PC is now starting to act like the pressure is getting to him. Not a good sign. You know it amazes me that over the last 5 years since admin etc no-one has ever noticed that Wallace can’t defend lol. Every side that plays Rangers concentrates on going past Wallace or Tav. Same with Tavernier but his defending is improving (a bit) and he’s not the Club Captain. Omnishambles from top of the club to bottom of the club. I see some slight improvement. Morelas can score goals but who will provide him with the service he needs against better sides? Its going to be a tough 4-5 years and by then it will be 10 in a row probably extending the record to 15-20 in a row. the land scape in Scotland has changed and will never be the same. We need a British league or our game will slowly continue to die with the real Rangers men not keeping to their promises of significant front loaded over investment. Drip feed and we will spend more than £50,000,000 over say 5-10 years but this will never have the same impact as investing £50,000,000 of his children inheritance like King promised and then failed to deliver on. Show me the money..

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