The fact that Rangers Lite lost to Celtic would not have come as a surprise to any readers of our site. Five hours prior to kick-off I was exclusively apprised of the Lite line up which I duly published on our Speakeasy as a comment; and on Twitter in the format in which it was received. Brendan Rodgers, who is an excellent ambassador for his club, said all the right things in the run-up to the game about his focus being on his own team, but even he must have been surprised by the Lightweight Lite Eleven, with three foals on the bench accompanied by Old Dobbin Miller.
I also exclusively revealed on this site that Miller and Mr Bean had to be separated by players as the veteran striker responded to being excluded from the first eleven with some paint-stripping invective. The prosaic facts of the matter are that Miller and Whispering Grass Wallace don’t rate Bean. They are of the view that he is a second-rate coach who has hired second-rate players; second-rate players who are not in any way superior to those that were in Warburton’s squad.
Miller may have a point. Pena looked leggy, displaying none of the fleet of foot that he is renowned for when it’s his round in a West End watering hole. Morelos who should have been sent off for two yellow card offences – his simulation in the box went unpunished – would not get a game in the Celtic Under 16s. As for Bean’s claim that McCrorie will be a future Scotland centre-half, was he referring to the women’s team? He was so slow to respond to a loose ball in the box that Rogic could have paused to tie his laces prior to launching a full-blooded shot into the roof of the net.
Patrick Roberts was on fire. Having quickly tucked Hodson in his pocket, Roberts then waltzed past McCrorie as if he was a training cone, which in many ways he was. Roberts’ slide-rule pass to Griffiths left McCrorie floundering as Celtic’s veteran striker put the game to bed. In the final fifteen minutes Celtic could have doubled this lead and would not have been flattered by the scoreline. Lite were lame and lacklustre. Pay peanuts – get monkeys – comes to mind.
However the worst performer yesterday was not on the park. Mr Bean lied to the media when he asserted that he told Brown that he would not push him around. My mole informs me that when he squared up to Brown on the touchline Bean actually stated: “You’re a fucking cheat.”
Brown responded: “I’ll have a job tomorrow morning.”
If Bean was trying to unnerve or intimidate Brown then his efforts were as flat as his team’s performance. Brown continued to dominate midfield, making dummies out of Lite’s midfield imposters.
What Bean did next was beyond the pale. He challenged Brown to a fight in the tunnel. Brown laughed in his face as Bean’s assistants bundled him away. It must be the bull (shit) fighter in his bloodline as per the SMSM puff pieces.
Was Mr. Bean interviewed and hired on Skype? Even career-criminal King, who will soon be wearing a scarf to ward off the effects of a cold shoulder, is quick to distance himself from Graeme Park’s hire.
Eleven points from a possible twenty-one does not bode well for Mr Bean’s tenure. His charges squeaked home against Motherwell and could only yield one point from a possible six when hosting the Capital’s clubs. Ross County and Dundee, the fodder clubs, were quick to surrender six points but Lite looked like Glasgow’s third club when earning an undeserved point against a ten-man Partick Thistle. Should Motherwell follow their League Cup QF success against Aberdeen with a win in today’s SPFL fixture, Lite will find themselves in sixth place.
A concatenation of shit creek and the conspicuous absence of a paddle comes to mind.