Going Down

Yesterday’s piece on schadenfreude could quite appositely be applied to my reaction to the unaudited accounts of the micro-entity, Level 5 PR, which were sent to me by one of my most valued sources.

Walter: “How much are you getting for this gig Murdo?”  Murdo: ‘Less than you received in an EBT bung from Rangers when you were manager of Everton.’

 

The registered office of the Ministry of Pishery is listed as 26 Blythswood Square despite everyone knowing that Traynor and Kerr are squatting at Murray Park. No-one has ever seen them at Blythswood square, much to the chagrin of the working girls who fancied a go on Traynor’s ‘bouncy castle‘ blubber. I wonder what part of the £37,508 quantum of creditors in 2006 and £50,568 in 2017 is allocated to pay off their exorbitant lease? In PR image is everything. The fact that their cleaner is on a zero hours contract is best swept under the carpet.

How the fuck do I spin an incursion of 200 Rangers thugs intent on GBH? Let’s call it the least they could do to protect the players. No-one will notice that the players had already left the field of play. If there is any dissension in the SMSM ranks I will engage in a round of Adultery Tombola. How the hacks will squeal when unmasked.”

The two directors of Level 5, Slim Shady Traynor and Sidekick Kerr, were left with a capital reserve of £105,762 for their endeavours to 31 January, 2017. Would up to £30,000 of this be set aside for this year’s showpiece lease? If so the partners in pishery won’t have enough for a good night out with Chick Young. Young’s favourite lap dancers will be supping thin gruel in their champagne flutes.

Should one feel some pangs of sympathy for the man with more faces than chins one should demur as every cloud has a silver lining for the liquidation denier.

His gout has improved. Not by leaps and bounds of course, but his gait looks more steady. He is no longer listing like Gary Mackay-Steven after a night of liquid refreshment and aquatic misadventure. Would it be unkind to suggest that Mackay-Steven made more of a splash in the Kelvin than at Celtic Park?

In other good news for the Govan gourmand, Crown Office counsel have decided on no proceedings to be pursued apropos William Stevenson’s hacking of Craig Whyte’s data. Hence no proceedings against King who used the information to destabilise the former regime at Lite and to manipulate the share price.

Having squandered millions on a conspiracy theory, with Stevenson as a witness for the Crown, is it any surprise that these corrupt self-serving bastards are covering their tracks and bowing to their masters in Govan? Any part Traynor allegedly played in the publishing of the Charlotte Fake tweets has now been covered up.

Surely a gout-inducing slap up at Rogano is called for? Or are things so tight that they will just slap Chick Young’s bald pate?

Rumours that ‘In the Closet Hun‘ Chick Young needed satnav to find Love Street are probably funny because they’re true.

Addendum

Level 5 have only one client ergo they work full time for Rangers. Under HMRC rules are they not really full time employees of Rangers Lite and not consultants and are therefore avoiding PAYE and NI?

 

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12 thoughts on “Going Down”

  1. Re Addendum spot on. If all their work is RFC they are defacto Rangers employees under UK tax rules. Amazing spot 😉

    1. But they might consider themselves self-employed operatives, like Uber drivers. In fact they may be moonlighting for Uber as I write this…
      Donation on the way JJ

    2. Its not as simple as that as I’m sure you are aware.

      Tax Laws including IR35 are complex and HMRC have certainly been tightening up on contractors / consultants who operate Personal Service Companies.

      Particularly where there a single client relationship and Mutuality Of Obligation with a contract that states that the contractor is hired for X hours at Y rate.

      Any contractor now working in Government owned company such as Student Loans or The Scottish Executive will now be caught under IR35 and paying full PAYE and NI after a deduction of a 5% operating allowance.

      However, the fact that L5 operate as business to business, there are multiple employees involved, presumably with substitution and there have previously been ( or they currently have ) multiple clients will all be in L5’s favour in avoiding this legislation.

      The leasing of a separate business property will also influence any decision on them being classed as “disguised employees”.

      Even if the premises are empty and the blinds are down.

      It’s a non-starter IMHO.

      DB

    3. Not 100% correct
      You can work for a single entity and still be self employed as a contractor but there is time limit of about two years
      There are a number of ‘tests’ that determine employment status one of which involves invoicing and financial risk for example

  2. Probably just an address for people to register their company as being at that address rather than them actually being based there. Gordon Bowden reveals one such address in Finchley Road, London where lots of FAKE companies operate out of and Professor George Lees exposes one operating in Edinburgh both involving lots of politicians and celebrities. Traynor is probably doing the same either for corrupt reasons or for the prestige of the address – more than likely both.

    As for the St Mirren supporter Chick Young someone should maybe tell these people they need to repaint a part of their mural with Young in red white and blue instead of black and white or better still paint him out and paint in a real St Mirren supporter instead :

    http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/paisleys-scottish-cup-heroes-work-10180870

  3. Regular 4-weekly donation for fresh Java ‘n’ Baklava just made.
    Enjoy!

    JJ: Thank you buddy. A Friday fillip is most welcome.

  4. Hi JJ . Donation made YL819664M only £20 but enough for a cheap bottle of plonk. I was hoping you would have a Paywall installed by now to stop the feeloaders. I like the idea of you publishing guest articles, would add a new dimension to the site. Keep up the good work. Cheers Tony

    JJ: Thanks Tony. Do you fancy having a go?

  5. Hi JJ, Superb body of work again this month sir, I have just sent my monthly donation to you, No.5XD14363XS45xxxx

    JJ: Thank you. Kind words from a kind man,

  6. The signs of a distressed company that will soon go to the wall are clear. Delayed and unpaid bills. Court cases. Employment disputes. Phil notes that a substantial loan was recently given to keep them afloat and that more is needed for payday. Celtic will be in Europe after Christmas. Will Sevco be in existence after Christmas.

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