The Penny Drops At The Penny Arcade

What is irrevocably true is that Newco is unrecognisable from Rangers in one hugely important aspect: it will not win the league. Ever.”

The statement in bold blue italic typeface is an excerpt from an article in CQN. Is there really no possibility of any measure of sustained success at Rangers Lite?  I would like to think that Paul Brennan who wrote this article has factored in Lite’s capacity to cheat in his analysis. It’s something they have done very well, gaining seventeen trophies with players they could not have afforded if they had paid the tax that was due. Rangers executives are prepared to lie to HMRC if it gives them an edge on the field. Their latest attempt at cheating was unknown until I exclusively revealed it yesterday. In this article I will look at the ramifications of their latest illegal enterprise.

Rangers Lite spent £9.7m on players in the close season. £9.7m they did not have. There can be no doubt whatsoever that the purchase of Pena, Dorrans, Herrera, Cardoso, Candeias and Morelos was underwritten by a third party in Qatar. This information has been confirmed by three sources. In any resale the value of these players would indubitably drop. This begs the question as to the security on this off the balance sheet finance. There is also the question of interest to consider.

Would it surprise anyone if Caixinha brokered this deal hence the board’s reluctance to do the right thing and sack him? He should have been sacked after the defeat to a part-time team in Luxembourg. To compound matters he remonstrated with fans, who had every right to call for his head, from the shrubbery. It was a headline writers’ dream. ‘Bushwhacked‘ was my personal favourite.


In his latest memorably risible delusion he cast himself as Count Dracula. Mourinho’s mannequin asserted with a straight face that:

He is as addicted to winning as a vampire is addicted to blood.”

Well that’s Halloween covered, but what about the rest of the season Dad?”

To which one can but respond that he must have become very thirsty in Qatar as he won the square root of fuck all. Primark is addicted to seeing his name in print. Winning against Motherwell was as mythical as Bram Stoker’s flight of fantasy.

‘The Steelers‘ played with conviction. Football is a contact sport. It’s not beach volleyball which seems to be the preferred sport of Pena. He might as well have rocked up in a deck chair behind the Lite goal and been honest enough to highlight his indolence. £3m + for this beach bum is incontrovertiblly money for old Qatari rope.

As the Lite supporters bay for Primark’s blood, there is a growing consensus of Celtic supporters that want him to continue. Always crashing in the same car‘ is their mantra. Every soundbite from Cackhanded Caixinha is comedy gold.

The penny has dropped at The Penny Arcade. Even with circa £10m of off the books finance, Lite are no match for the best teams in Motherwell, Edinburgh, Aberdeen and Glasgow. Pedro should have packed up his caravan and headed for the Channel ports.

There are those who are suggesting that Lite cannot afford to pay Pedro off. This is idle speculation. My sources on the mannequin’s meltdown insist that there is a 90 day severance clause in his contract. The real problem is the loss of face to Graeme Park who hired Pedro after one interview on Skype. As he came with a £10m credit line it was a no-brainier for Park. The fact that the source was an established donor to the ISIL cause was probably played down by Pedro.

The board at Lite are as bent as a money clip containing ten bob notes. If they discovered a cache of Nazi gold that had been melted down from concentration camps inmates’ teeth there would be a run on foundry masks in Govan,

What criminal endeavour they engage in next is anyone’s guess. However whatever it is I will be the first to apprise readers of their latest in a long litany of under the counter enterprises.

Paul is probably correct in his assertion that Lite won’t win another title by fair means. But has he considered Sir Bribe & Lie coming out of the woodwork with Qatari finance to win by foul?




42 thoughts on “The Penny Drops At The Penny Arcade”

  1. Despite offering a world exclusive yesterday, donations continue to be at a low ebb. If readers can only venture £1.50 – £2 then your need is greater than mine. If it were one thousand contributors of this quantum I could pay the rent and eat. Unfortunately it’s only a handful. With my sources this is the go-to site on the Rangers narrative. I have proven this time and time again. Would readers prefer to be in the dark?

  2. Rangers won v Motherwell at Fir Park in the first game of this season JJ.

    Not that it changes anything.

    JJ: Just my article. I’m as addicted to accuracy as a vampire is addicted to blood.

  3. Your exclusive enlightenments of the nefarious and criminal misdeeds of Sevco are breathtaking and put the Scottish media to shame. Are the media so afraid of sunshine for fear of disturbing the vampires?

    1. Yesterday’s exclusive was dynamite. One would hope the governing bodies are on the case. Why employ a compliance officer unless to root out allegations of wrongdoing.

  4. Why don’t you compile a piece with all the bogus headlines from 2011 so we can remind ourselves of the treacherous lengths the smsm has went to in.order to keep this caravan on the road. It would be such fun

  5. this would explain why rangers lite hired pedro in the first place. they hired the fifth best coach in qatar because he brought finance with him. this is how desperate they are.

    1. I remember at the time Pedro was hired there was talk that, during his Skype interview, he intimated that if they hired him, he could bring investors with him and this is why he was hired. The belief back then was that he lied to get the job, but now we know better.

  6. Donation made as per JJ 6WN213289N668xxxx

    If any of this is true then why are the SFA not all over it. Oh, I remember now, silly me.

    In their attempts to protect Scottish football, as they see it, with their incompetence and their standpoint of nothing to see here move on for the good of the game, do they not realise that they are making Scottish football the laughing stock of the world by their inaction and total disregard for right and wrong.

    The SFA bias was highlighted for me in the games at the weekend. Sevco 38,000 tickets and Celtic 25,000. Spare allocation for them but not for us. Could it be anymore blatant than that. Well apart from the timings of the game after a European Night by being an early kick off on a Saturday. They truly love us!!

    JJ: I can assure you that the provenance of my sources is impeccable. I pushed back four times before accepting this scoop. Your latest contribution to our site is gratefully received.

    1. Not doubting you for a minute JJ. Just the apathy of the governing body towards it.

      Donation richly deserved. I will see if I can find a bit extra moving forward

  7. I had a sneaking suspicion thar Warbs was brought in for the same reasons that he had access to finance or potential investors being an ex”city trader”

  8. I sent you a tenner two weeks ago and after two or threee posts, nothing has been printed. I’m beginning to think I smell.

    Is it any wonder followers of your blog are reluctant to contribute when perfectly reasonable posts are never printed. I was sent the receipts so I know you got the contribution.

    JJ: There are only a couple of rules here. No Ad Hominem attacks. If you want to have a go at Sevco be clever and original. I don’t allow rants. Other than that your comments would have been approved. Just to be clear donations don’t guarantee approval but they give you the right to challenge my decision. I’ll keep an eye out for your next comment.

  9. JJ, did the Qataris settle the Warbs n Weir claim to pave the way for Pedro?

    Just idle speculation on my behalf but it don’t believe their was ever an explanation about how their sacking/departure was settled financially.

  10. This ongoing soap opera is utterly lamentable. It needs to stop and quickly.
    The head of the snake that is the SFA needs to be cut off and to these ends you have recently provided MORE than enough evidence to facilitate that (confidential emails proving complicity in defrauding CFC).
    For the life of me I cannot fathom why nothing has been done or said publically to openly challenge the SFA for comment on these. On the day of release it should have been incumbent upon CFC to formally request clarification on their authenticity and content. That I venture, would not be outwith the realms of reasonable.
    FFS ! – Look at the scope and Parliamentary involvement etc of the English FA enquiry at present.
    The eternal shysters need to be reigned in;- we let this opportunity slip at our peril.

  11. You can be genuinely entertaining at times but you let yourself down completely by falling into the same trap as Mac Giolla Bháin and littering your work with childish nicknames, hate speech and bigotry.

    In just your last 3 blogs, you’ve used the terms Rangers Lite, Primark Pedro, Klan, mannequin, Sir Bribe & Lie, The Cardigan, quintessential British club, career criminal, gullibillies, knuckle draggers, huns. Some of these are more offensive than others of course, but all of them are childish and needless.

    I think you’re making a mistake both in terms of building credibility and in terms of building a wider audience.

    I’m sure you visit some of the Celtic forums where, outside your traditional followers, you’re generally viewed as a bit of a loon.

    Stick to facts, leave the pathetic name calling to Phil and there’s a chance you could be successful. Otherwise, continue pandering to the small following you have and begging for donations twice a week.

    1. First of all the prosaic facts. I don’t have a small following. On any given day I can attract 40,000 readers. On one occasion 56,000. I have readers in every country in the world, save six neighbouring Saharan countries. I’m read in the Vatican so I cannot be that offensive. I will continue to refer to SDM as Sir Bribe & Lie, Walter as The Cardigan and as many pejorative epithets that I can make up apropos the imposter at Murray Park. King is a career criminal and will be named as such every time his odious name comes up. As for my use of Hun, this is not a reference to all Rangers supporters, just the hardline knuckle dragging Klan underbelly. You would not believe the abuse I receive on this site including credible death threats.

      In any situation comedy – let’s call it what it is – character development is key to its success. I am read by professors of creative writing, leading surgeons, solicitors, former executives of Rangers and many other educated men and women. If I drop the characterisation it becomes less entertaining. Nor would it result in more donations as the Rangers Lite demographic very rarely contribute to this site. I can only recall one in the past 15 months.

      My output might be more palatable to you but it would not keep belly from backbone. I modified your post as I don’t permit Ad Hominem attacks. I’ll take a couple on the chin on this occasion but no more.

      1. You keep on doing your thing JJ. Your exclusive yesterday is off the scale and no one has picked it up and ran with it. Imagine saying you are read in the Vatican Signed Cardinal Always Winning(near the Vatican, honest).

    2. Not to come across as a cheerleader Pete, you will invariably find that any and all detractors of JJ’s work have little to no substantive retort whatsoever to his narrative.
      “Ad hominem” is to my knowledge as far as anyone can ever take it which in itself speaks volumes.

    3. Not one for doing this, but I feel I should and need to in your defence JJ. Pete, it is unclear what you are looking for sir! This man has ultimately put himself in harms way and is one of just a handful (if even that) who tells it like it is by shining a light on the stinking midden that is scottish football and et al. Keeping us all appraised and informed on the things that really matter. The calibre of the man’s work and the the exclusives he breaks are unparalleled.
      The use of satire in JJ’s blogs are thoroughly fitting and to be honest, at his discretion. And are enjoyed by thousands, the evidence is there for you to see. He also didn’t win a top blogging award by fluke. I would call this success in fact. As for your assertion that the man is viewed as a loon, well I think here you are away off the mark. Being one who is interested in the wider politics and happenings of the world I would consider myself centred, and of reasonable intelligence and very fair minded and not being, as you described as “one of his traditional followers from the Celtic forums”, I find this my go to site for it’s honesty and openness on worldwide social justice stories. So I see JJ as quite the opposite of a loon in a world full of Loons! And as for begging, he is merely asking for some recompense and reward for the tireless research he carries out and sometimes people need a nudge myself included.

      All I can say Pete, as I’m sure thousands of others would to you. If you don’t like it don’t come on it.
      My apologies for the rant JJ.

  12. I initially thought that the transfer fees quoted was simply PR spin for the gullibles to swallow yet again because it is apparent Sevco are skint.
    What you have apparently been advised would explain everything relating to these transfers.
    The Sevco accounts will make very interesting reading since,if these players were purchased “off balance sheet” by 3rd parties,they will not appear as assets in Sevco accounts if they ever get published.
    Conversely if these players are sold the funds go to 3rd parties and not Sevco!
    Oh what a tangled web these lunatics weave!
    I’ve sensed administration for some time now and it wouldn’t surprise me if it happened sooner rather than later.
    Sevco is an utter basket case but it does provide wonderful entertainment.
    Oh how we continue to laugh!
    Donation made in support of your continuing hard work!

    JJ: Thanks Bhody.

    1. No I suspect they’ve been / will be quite clever about this and just present it as debts due in the same way as they would be to another football club who have accepted installments on player sales – which is commonplace. Of course the amounts due would probably be bigger than if a proper football club had sold them as they would want more or all of it up front, especially given the precarious financial situation TRFC/RIFC is in. There won’t be any published details of how the debts due are broken down by player of course and it might be like the PCP leases – small ongoing payments then a large final one if you want to keep the (car) player

      Hence they are assets of the club/company and if sold might still be being paid for on the never never. It’s not uncommon for transfer payments to continue even after the player has been sold to another club.

      Some sort of financial Armageddon beckons, but the day or reckoning still hasn’t come yet. However with new loans needed, old loans officially due for re-payment, CCK publically acknowledged as being skint, Pedro apparently on notice, the share takeover panel ruling all before the end of the Year.

      I can’t see how CCK will get out of the takeover panel ruling. The legislation is quite clear – the court can make any order it chooses, but this must be in enforcement of the takeover panels findings – “ secure compliance with the requirement”. There are no loopholes, though as this is the first time this section has been tested, it’s not 100%, but as close as you can come. It’s pretty clear item b) below applies…..

      Actual wording taken from the Act below.
      If, on the application of the Panel, the court is satisfied—
      (a)that there is a reasonable likelihood that a person will contravene a rule-based requirement, or (b)
      that a person has contravened a rule-based requirement or a disclosure requirement,
      the court may make any order it thinks fit to secure compliance with the requirement.

  13. This latest piece is priceless and I will make another donation asap JJ. In the meantime I appeal to readers here to ffs donate something to keep this blog going. Surely things are not that desperate that people cannot give more than £1.45p !

  14. Small following? Really?

    This award winning site brings exclusives which blindside Scottish journalists who are paid to know ‘what’s going on’.

    Indeed, Scottish journalists and former executives at Ibrox (including SDM who outed my identity to FollowFollow crackpots) read this site to obtain facts and insights. If you want to find out about governance in Scottish football, collusion, corruption or the latest from the basket of assets now trading as a basket case, this is your first port of call.

    Not only that, this site has contributors who raise the bar significantly. JJ crosses the ball. Our job is to hit the net.

    I was alerted to the Qatari funding initiative a few months ago, but dismissed it as idle chatter. The source was from a chum of mine (at Arsenal) who has been following, in great detail, the flow of funds from Doha into European football. He briefed Martin Samuel prior to last week’s article.

    I shall try to find out the funding source!

    Great articles over the past few weeks and now back in the UK so regular donation will be with you today.

    1. Good to have you back buddy. I feel understaffed when you’re away. I love nothing more than to drill a cross across the six yard box for you to net, which you do unerringly TM.

  15. Meanwhile regardless of the motherwell pumping the fiesta continues at Auchenhowie.

    No uk players allowed.

    All paid for by Qatari gazillions.

  16. The Qatar angle is a very interesting one indeed.No serious club would source a manager from Qatar-a backwater among backwaters.When Pedros name surfaced I immediately thought there must be more to this than meets the eye.he is,currently,an obvious flop however the inactivity from the blue room suggests they are either insane or constrained.Maybe both however,as with anything involving King,there is always a murky underbelly.Ah well,the caravan moves on.

  17. I thought the death of Old Rangers FC was particularly distasteful with the sinking to new lows of owing £90m in unpaid social taxes, cutting the players wages by 50% and the dastardly deed of stealing the charity money (found guilty by the charities commission) Plus dumping unpaid 276 creditors.
    The heinous crimes of the New Sevco Rangers have been shocking but to learn of the off balance sheet sell off to Arabs is a new low and a new betrayal of fans.
    Did CFC fans get the best fans award as a consolation for not going to Judicial Review of 17 stolen titles? Plus the same RFC with 54 titles Lie? Not the best fans in my book lying back allowing all that.

  18. Although motherwell had the superior statistics against New Rangers, goals, possession, shots on target, corners,…. one could be forgiven for perceiving otherwise due to skewed sports reporting.

    Has anyone actually said well done Motherwell you played great?

    I can’t help thinking that out of favour Kenny ‘the killer’ Miller would have stuck a couple of the Sevco chances away.

    Oh well!, could’ve been, should’ve been, …..

  19. Is it the old ‘I’ve got something to sell at twice its value to someone with no money who’ll accept a loan’ scam ?

  20. Hey JJ, I live in New Zealand and Love your work, give me some instructions and I’ll be glad to donate.

    JJ: Just hit the donate button and you’ll be good to go.

  21. Is Paul Brennan a clairvoyant? If not he must be very stupid, as “ever” is a mighty long time. Incidentally having watched Sunday’s match I do feel that, while Motherwell were successful on the day, they might achieve even greater success in the field of mixed martial arts.

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