“What is irrevocably true is that Newco is unrecognisable from Rangers in one hugely important aspect: it will not win the league. Ever.”
The statement in bold blue italic typeface is an excerpt from an article in CQN. Is there really no possibility of any measure of sustained success at Rangers Lite? I would like to think that Paul Brennan who wrote this article has factored in Lite’s capacity to cheat in his analysis. It’s something they have done very well, gaining seventeen trophies with players they could not have afforded if they had paid the tax that was due. Rangers executives are prepared to lie to HMRC if it gives them an edge on the field. Their latest attempt at cheating was unknown until I exclusively revealed it yesterday. In this article I will look at the ramifications of their latest illegal enterprise.
Rangers Lite spent £9.7m on players in the close season. £9.7m they did not have. There can be no doubt whatsoever that the purchase of Pena, Dorrans, Herrera, Cardoso, Candeias and Morelos was underwritten by a third party in Qatar. This information has been confirmed by three sources. In any resale the value of these players would indubitably drop. This begs the question as to the security on this off the balance sheet finance. There is also the question of interest to consider.
Would it surprise anyone if Caixinha brokered this deal hence the board’s reluctance to do the right thing and sack him? He should have been sacked after the defeat to a part-time team in Luxembourg. To compound matters he remonstrated with fans, who had every right to call for his head, from the shrubbery. It was a headline writers’ dream. ‘Bushwhacked‘ was my personal favourite.
In his latest memorably risible delusion he cast himself as Count Dracula. Mourinho’s mannequin asserted with a straight face that:
“He is as addicted to winning as a vampire is addicted to blood.”
To which one can but respond that he must have become very thirsty in Qatar as he won the square root of fuck all. Primark is addicted to seeing his name in print. Winning against Motherwell was as mythical as Bram Stoker’s flight of fantasy.
‘The Steelers‘ played with conviction. Football is a contact sport. It’s not beach volleyball which seems to be the preferred sport of Pena. He might as well have rocked up in a deck chair behind the Lite goal and been honest enough to highlight his indolence. £3m + for this beach bum is incontrovertiblly money for old Qatari rope.
As the Lite supporters bay for Primark’s blood, there is a growing consensus of Celtic supporters that want him to continue. ‘Always crashing in the same car‘ is their mantra. Every soundbite from Cackhanded Caixinha is comedy gold.
The penny has dropped at The Penny Arcade. Even with circa £10m of off the books finance, Lite are no match for the best teams in Motherwell, Edinburgh, Aberdeen and Glasgow. Pedro should have packed up his caravan and headed for the Channel ports.
There are those who are suggesting that Lite cannot afford to pay Pedro off. This is idle speculation. My sources on the mannequin’s meltdown insist that there is a 90 day severance clause in his contract. The real problem is the loss of face to Graeme Park who hired Pedro after one interview on Skype. As he came with a £10m credit line it was a no-brainier for Park. The fact that the source was an established donor to the ISIL cause was probably played down by Pedro.
The board at Lite are as bent as a money clip containing ten bob notes. If they discovered a cache of Nazi gold that had been melted down from concentration camps inmates’ teeth there would be a run on foundry masks in Govan,
What criminal endeavour they engage in next is anyone’s guess. However whatever it is I will be the first to apprise readers of their latest in a long litany of under the counter enterprises.
Paul is probably correct in his assertion that Lite won’t win another title by fair means. But has he considered Sir Bribe & Lie coming out of the woodwork with Qatari finance to win by foul?