Tinseltown In The Rain

As Celtic show their commitment to Kieran Tierney with a new six year deal, Rangers Lite have decided that their ‘international ambassador‘ Bomber Brown deserves a real job as a domestic scout. Bomber is one of the odious group which led the reprehensible behaviour at the AGM in 2014 when the last professional board at Lite were described as ‘rhats‘ as they took shelter in what became known as The Gazebo. The board knew that Brown and Halloween Houston, at King’s behest, were fomenting unrest and had looked into the possibility of holding the AGM in London. Threats to burn down the hotel and assassinate the staff put paid to that idea.

Why did Bomber get involved in the social unrest? He was no longer on the guest list for a free nosebag in the Argyle Suite! The man who does not have the intellect or education to be a matchday ambassador remains on the payroll due to services rendered to King.

However if Brown chapped your door looking to sign your son, would any self-respecting parent entrust their progeny to this unhinged knife? Or would they prefer Brendan Rodgers dropping round for tea, safe in the knowledge that if their son was good enough Celtic would provide him with the security of a six year deal? Leaving any club allegiances aside, as should be the case for any aspiring professional football player, Lennoxtown would be one’s only choice. Lite are so poor that they no longer have a reserve team which is just as well as their colts are a mediocre lot.

Those of you who follow my Twitter feed  @sitonfence will have noticed that I have gone all-in on a Dundee United exclusive. An exclusive that Stephen Thompson is determined to keep under wraps. Is it possible that the deal he concluded with U.S. interests on Sunday is being concealed to await a NYSE advisory notice? My impeccable source is also all-in on this deal. As is so often the case you heard it here first.

Combining several disparate strands of information to keep my readers abreast of the salient details in Scottish football leads inexorably to tonight’s game at Celtic Park. As Lite receives yet another knock back from former Club Brugge coach Michel Preud’homme (who unlike Primark Pedro is on protracted gardening leave) Celtic play host to a Bayern Team minus the threat of Lewandowski. If there were any thoughts that the Celtic defenders were in for an easy shift, James Rodriguez will soon disabuse them of this notion. The Colombian attacking midfielder is as good as Manchester City’s De Bruyne. He cost his parent club Real Madrid 75 million euros. His loan fee for two seasons at Bayern Munich is 13 million euros.

When one consider Celtic’s investment in football personnel in the year to 30 June 2017 of £13.8m and deducts the £2.3m accrued from player disposals, their net spend in one year is less than this loan deal for one player.

Despite this there are those who believe that Celtic can prevail in this evening’s game. Far be it for me to be a spectre at the jelly and ice-cream feast but is there any corroborating evidence to support this perspective? Celtic were outstanding against Aberdeen but with every respect due to Scotland’s second best club they did not challenge Celtic’s makeshift centre backs in the same manner that one might anticipate from Bayern Munich.

I can think of two reasons why Celtic should do well this evening: the conspicuous absence of Müller and Lewandowski. Bayern have a squad valued at 600 million euros but will travel tonight without a recognised striker unless they draft in the relatively untested Kwasi Okyere Wriedt.

In their game against Leipzig on Saturday, Thiago replaced Müller, with Rodriguez on the left and Robben on the right of Lewandowski. In the latter’s absence and that of Müller both wingers have goals in their lockers. There is also a clear and present danger from the forceful runs of Corentin Tolisso and the aerial prowess of Joshua Kimmich. The latter is deadly from set pieces.

Celtic won’t have a better chance to prevail against the leaders of the Bundesliga but they will have to be at their very best. If they go toe-to-toe with Bayern, as Rodgers has hinted in his press conference, we could be witness to a memorable European night at Celtic Park.

I don’t have an an envious bone in my body but I would give my eye-teeth to be at Celtic Park this evening. Rodriguez and Robben will be a handful but if they can be neutralised Celtic could provide an upset. Will FC Hollywood, Tinseltown, be in the rain?

















28 thoughts on “Tinseltown In The Rain”

  1. Today is the last day in a month that has been surprisingly lean for donations. I thank those who have stepped up, chapeaux, and invite others who have not to consider doing so today. Your support makes it possible.

  2. Congratulations JJ on reaching 16million hits!

    I too would love to be at CP this evening to witness Brendan Rodgers’ men take on the pride of Munich.
    The CL is the stage where all clubs aspire to appear.
    Hopefully, the best fans in the world can help their favorites to a decent performance and result.

    Regarding your developing DUnt item, do you think this story will break soon in the Sunday Post or the other Scottish comics?

  3. And still the bluster and spin emits from Ibrox. Perhaps Mr Buchanan and friends had been peering into the future when they penned one of my favourite songs all those years ago in the early 80’s………..

    “But it’s easy come, and it’s easy go, All this talking is only bravado”

    As for Brown? It would be insulting to call it an animal. An out and out piece of trash. Sevco are welcome to him.

  4. Brown is an oaf and shouldn’t be near any football club – best suited to be ambassador for the Loudon. Donation made xxxx….831S.

    JJ: Thanks

    1. Who was media lapdogged into player of the year, but “now he’s a dick” as the famous alternative commentary goes.

  5. Regarding Dundee Utd…..
    Just because there is interest from the States does not necessarily mean it’s a good thing for them…..I’m sure time will tell JJ.

    1. I was thinking the same along the lines of funny how “Rangers” were tramping around the US looking for people to invest in their club and they were in the Premier League and couldn’t get anyone because their club is an almost bankrupt mess and suddenly Dundee United a club sruggling financially and football wise to get out of the League below gets someone to invest in their club.

      Now you would wonder why anyone would want to invest in Scottish football when it is pretty dismal and they will have no chance of any, or much, return in their investment or is there some other reason this has suddenly happened – a Scottish club up for sale just as another one “Rangers” is rumoured close to be going under. Is there another Airdrie/Clydebank scenario about to happen here and only one league to jump back up if this does happen. “Rangers” facing investors in the US might have balked at investing in the mess that is the present “Rangers” but this just might be a quicker and cheaper way of creating a third version – might be fanciful but then again might not – only time will tell.

  6. A few years ago I contacted my brother and told him about a rising star in New Zealand football. He was head and shoulders above all the players here and that made him look good. His name Marco Rojas. He currently plays for Melbourne Victory. My brother spoke about him when he visited the scouting room at Lennoxtown that resembles the banks of monitors at a NASA mission control centre. A football match is on every screen and games are watched from every corner of the globe to spot rising talent in every continent. They typed in his name and then soon told my brother his statistics for goals, appearances, injuries and international appearances. They admitted that he was a good player and that they held a file on him, but that he was not Celtic class. My brother then said that I’d told him that the best player in Australia was a guy called Tom Rogic. They pulled out his file and smiled. They knew about his amazing control of a ball. They agreed that he was Celtic class. He soon signed and despite a terrible run of injuries they kept faith in Tom.
    Over at Ibrox they will have Bomber Brown!!!!!
    Ask Bomber who is the rising star in Liberia, or Mozambique or Niger and Bomber will not even know what continent the question is about.
    Unless Celtic leave Scottish football they will always be the Champions. Always. Always qualifying for the Champions League.

  7. How long has it been since Rangers have had a full scouting team in place?

    This should be a positive move but time will tell.

    Paul Buchanan has a beautiful voice. He sings so openly , with genuine emotion about love that he can make you stop what you’re doing and you just listen to a man express the yearning or joy of his life through his songs.
    Which is his job.

  8. I fancy Celtic to nick this game 1-0. I hope BR adapts his style of play to soak up the pressure and to play on the break. If he doesn’t he’s not a world class manager because occasionally the other sides better and you need a bit of Watty about you 😉

      1. JJ
        It’s not as simple as parking the bus, playing anti football or being negative. Im a huge fan of our manager but our humiliating losses to PSG and Barcelona are a concern for me and a number of others that regularly follow Celtic. He must adapt his style tonight or face the consequences. Should our manager go toe-to-toe with what is a far superior side then we are likely to lose by a 2 or 3 goal margin. Since 2009 they have reached 2 finals, won the trophy on one occasions and reached the semi final on 3 occasions. That’s serious pedigree and a side that we must adapt our style to if we are to counter effectively. We play teams like Kilmarnock, Ross County and Motherwell in domestic competition but tonight we take the role of a Kilmarnock, Ross County or motherwell. That’s about the size of it but miracles do happen.

        They are beatable as Hoffenheim have shown twice in 2017.

        Hoffenheim played a system and deployed tactics that both nullified their opponents and denied them space all over the park. Hardly an example of anti-football but definitely an act of brilliance by a fantastic young manager (Julian Nagelsmann). Why can’t we do the same rather than going toe to toe with an approach that quite simply isn’t working for us at this level?

        JJ i agree with you 99% of the time but what is your rationale in suggesting that Rodriguez is a more effective player than Du Bruyne?
        The former had a great 2014 world cup but has come woefully short of such heady heights since. Du Bruyne is an assist machine with an eye for goal in the EPL, On the international stage and in the Champions League. James Rodriguez stats don’t stand up to that of the Belgian JJ. 20 assists in all competitions, 7 goals, 130 created chances and 278 ball recoveries in season 2016/17….and he’s even better this season.

  9. The Rangers scouting network is a fucking joke. Watch in January 18 LMFAO and watch the managerial appointment. Thats all any of us who aren’t lemmings need to see to realise this board does not have deep enough pockets. Can’t wait to see outcome for King verdict. Throw a verdict against King into the mix and we’re back in proper full blown unrecoverable tail spin and crisis at Rangers FC.

    RFC the gift that just keep on giving if you’re from the other side of town.

    What do you think of the Herald article re PC and Miller having it in for him from day 1? PC staff believe Jack was getting himself sent off week after week on purpose? Surely paranoia? No? 😉

  10. Hi John, small monthly donation set up through PayPal. The amount reflects current circumstances. Will adjust if/when these improve.
    Excellent site, your work is second to none.

    JJ: Thank you.

  11. Donation to tea and biscuit fund sent JJ. Keep at them. Transaction XXXXXXXXXXXXXX9137.
    As an aside, first time I have noticed it can take up to 10 days for you to receive the funds. Has PayPal change the way they send the funds.

    JJ: Thanks buddy. They claim that it’s a e-cheque. I’ll get it in time. No idea what they get up to.

  12. JJ

    You canny whack the Blue Nile – brought a smile to my face – a great Glasgow band – what a nice thing to wake up to.


  13. The reference to Tinseltown in the Rain definitely deserves a donation though we’re both showing out age. Superb album. Waiting for my flight at Charles de Gaulle to come home for the game. Two joyful thoughts in one day. Thank you! I’ll donate when I get home.

  14. I was walking past Ibrox late one night
    When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
    For a zombie from his grave began to rise
    And suddenly, to my surprise
    He did the mash
    (He did the zombie mash)
    His brain was bashed
    (From that cup final clash)
    He took a slash
    (He’d been on the lash)
    Then sang the Sash
    And danced the zombie mash.

    From the Record office at Anderston Quay,
    Radio Scotland and the BBC
    The press all came from their humble abode
    To join the dance in the Copland Road
    They did the mash
    (They did the zombie mash)
    Their hopes were dashed
    (Those title dreams were rash)
    Their sales have crashed
    (Their reportage is trash)
    They’re unabashed
    They love to zombie mash.

    The zombie was having fun
    The party had just begun
    The main guests were Keith Jackson, Chris Jack and Chic Young.

    Regan and Doncaster were hanging around
    Jabba chained up like a rabid hound
    Fat Derek Johnstone was next to arrive
    With the supporters’ bus from Radio Clyde
    They did the mash
    (They did the zombie mash)
    Their teeth got gnashed
    (They’d seen their team get thrashed)
    The bogs got smashed
    (Those Huns have no panache)
    Whit a stramash!
    At Sevco’s zombie mash.

    With Dave at the head of an Orange band
    The zombie mash is sweeping the land
    And all you Tims can join the dance too
    Just go to Ibrox and say the madhouse sent you
    Then you can mash
    (Then you can zombie mash)
    Don’t come from Mass!
    (You’ll need a gravestone fast)
    Don’t carry cash!
    (It will be gone in a flash)
    Nae need tae wash
    You’re at a Sevco bash.

  15. My word. We are all showing our age with reference to today’s headline article!

    You report that John Brown is now in post at Ibrox as ‘domestic scout’. What an appalling appointment and what a thug of a man. He did threaten to take my head off all those years ago when, as a guest in the Thornton Suite, he heard me say that the club was a busted flush and would go bust. That was ten years ago and he and Goram had joined my generous hosts for late night drinks after a mid week CL match. He was rather vulgar, uncouth and I even got a dose of anti Semitic stuff, which, frankly, stunned me. Anyhow, this is yet another regressive step by a regressive regime.

    And as noted previously, why make the appointment NOW. I do wonder what the new manager will make of that. (Although I understand that McInnes is best pals with McCoist, Durant, and Brown.)

    As for tonight’s match, I am back in a rather grey Glasgow and looking forward to a terrific match and a unique atmosphere.

    I have placed a bet on a Celtic victory.

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