Game Theory

As my learned friend packs away his horsehair wig for another week one’s thoughts return to Scottish football. Even after only 11 outings a top four has been established with a five point gap to Motherwell in fifth place. The fourth best team have a training ground romp against Hamilton tomorrow. They will score four against the rabbits in the headlights as they are deafened by the incessant sectarian soundtrack. The street cleaners in Dundee will be wearing extra thick marigold gloves as the street defecating Klan arrive on Friday to bag another three points to cut the gap at the top to three points or less should Celtic stumble in Dingwall. Celtic have more pressing things on their mind next weekend as they prepare for what they hope will be the first leg in a treble.

If one took a snapshot after the Dundee doing, one might believe that the title will be a close fought matter. One might tentatively make some enquiries about a helicopter. Allow me to disabuse you of this notion. As we saw in Pittodrie Celtic are in a league of their own.

The remainder of the season will play out as follows. Aberdeen will take a minimum of four points in the back-to-back games with Lite. If McInnes fancies having a go in Govan’s Satanic Cathedral he will secure all six points. Lite will be put in their place and can pack away their title delusions for another season as Celtic power to seven in a row. Eight-in-a-row will take their league title tally to 50. If they go to 12-in-a row they will better former club Rangers record as one of the extinct club’s 54 titles was shared with Dumbarton. One more successive title will confirm that Celtic is the best club to have ever played in Scottish football. Rangers will be a distant memory. Lite will be fortunate to survive.

Gullibilly On Mastermind – Q: What will Rangers Lite win this season?  I’ll have to hurry you… A: Pass

So what can Lite fans look forward to? Anti-Irish/Catholic invective which is an intrinsic part of the matchday experience at the Sectarian Speakeasy? A run to the Scottish Cup Semi-Finals courtesy of home ties provided by their bent friends at the SFA? Laying a glove on Celtic in the three remaining league fixtures, or is likely four in their Scottish Cup semi-final meeting? The SFA will go out of their way to keep them apart. The last thing they need is another showpiece final being ruined by a Lite riot as Celtic wipe the floor with them. The Klan would begin the social unrest at 0-3 and aspire to have the final abandoned. Alves and Jack would be sent off for savage assaults on Tierney and Brown, only to have their red cards rescinded by a Lite-facing judicial panel who swing the lead.

Scottish football is easy to predict. There are no stochastic variables. The SFA are bent to the point where they freeze the draw ball of Rangers. Lite must be given every assistance to have a deep run in the cup. British Virgin Island tax-evading loans can only go so far.

Ceteris Paribus Celtic will win another treble. Aberdeen and Hibs will vie for second place. Hearts will slip into the ignominy of the lower six after the split. Dundee United, backed by U$ capital will be promoted, leapfrogging Dundee who are destined for the second tier.

Should I include honest mistakes from Agent Orange Bobby Madden in my stochastic variables? Not if Celtic continue to score 3/4 goals in every game. One would need cheating of Dallas proportions to check Celtic’s progress.

The real fun and games will be off the park. If Bannatyne defies the City watchdog to play to the Freemason gallery, merry hell including an appeal will break out. The Faculty of Advocates will take a dim view and impose their own inimitable version of The Cold Shoulder. It’s worth noting that Bannatyne has a caveat in the wording of the law which states that one may order King to comply.

If King loses will he risk more BVI funds? Absolutely not. He will appeal while looking for a golden parachute for his equity, £2.8m loan to date and the quantum required to make payroll this month. If Sir Bribe & Lie does not buy the debt, using other people’s money, Lite will go under.

You could bet your mortgage on Celtic winning their seventh successive title. Would you risk a red cent on Lite being around to see it?



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17 thoughts on “Game Theory”

    1. Rangers then Sevco Now Rangers for never.

      What’s the point of Sevco?

      Because they’re never going to win the Scottish premiership and never going to enter the champions league. So what’s the point?

  1. I’ll donate £100 to a charity of your choice if you can provide evidence of ‘incessant sectarian singing’ at the Rangers Hamilton game tomorrow.

    1. Rangers aren’t playing tomorrow, they are in a file marked “liquidation “
      The TV broadcaster will provide proof of incessant sectarian chanting from the sevconites.
      Is that your get out clause?

    2. FAO Mustafa

      I’ve been listening to BBC (EBT) Scotland Sportsound all afternoon.
      The BBC (EBT) have a self imposed ban on attending iBrokes, however they despatch well known St Mirren fan Chic Young to give over the shoulder reportage via the monitor taking the coverage for highlights. This I should point out is despite his beloved St Mirren having an interesting and high scoring away win.

      Anyway, at EVERY single one of Mr Young’s brief reports from iBrokes this afternoon (and there were several) the backing accompaniment was a full strength ‘Peepuls Choir’ blasting out ‘The Billy Boys’ at every point.

      Do you have any evidence for the defence to present?

      1. I no longer engage in bets witk Lite supporters. They live in a parallel universe where singing ‘up to your knees in femnian blood’ is not sectarian. They are as lost a cause as their club. When presented with evidence that refutes their argument they renege on their debts in the time-worn Ibrox tradition.

  2. Without an emergency loan then players will not get their full wages at the end of the month.No amount of swapping debt for shares puts another pound in the accounts. This is like a game of pass the parcel. When the money runs out then the music stops and someone has to announce Administration. Who will get that job? Players are free to leave as their contracts have expired. This club will be extinct very soon unless someone wants to splurge millions to gain another few weeks of existence.

  3. Oh, and another thing. If the SFA are freezing the draw ball for Rangers, why are all these ex Celtic players consistently giving them a home draw in the cup?

    1. BBC, Sky & BTSport punditry payments.

      Don’t play the game don’t get a job. Kids go without.

      Even Sutton would pull a cold ball out for his bt job. He never says it’s not the same Rangers! Slagging off BFDJ as a cheerleader isn’t pointing out Liquidation means Club death.

    2. When the fix is in mustafa , he is the one, that has first dabs, on the frozen or hot ball its all the same to the fixer, he knows what he is searching for in the bag .their is a wee bingo ball roulette made of wire, why not use that.

  4. When I read: ‘One would need cheating of Dallas proportions to check Celtic’s progress’, I was immediately reminded of the link you provided to the story of Lee Harvey Oswald – and thought: ‘Surely not?’
    I need a Java ‘n’ Baklava myself.’

  5. How would an appeal be possible, an appeal is surely only allowed if the Judge has erred in law. Surely when king stated he was skint he never disputed the guilt, he cannot appeal the punishment as it is the only one available in this case and was the outcome he was disputing when he said he was skint, he had also lost his appeal and went to court. Mind boggles with these slippery bastards.

  6. The full sentence in the Companies Act is
    “the court may make any order it thinks fit to secure compliance with the requirement. ”

    Therefore yes there is discretion as to what that order is, but the order MUST be made in such a way as “to secure compliance with the requirement” – which in this case is to make an offer for all the shares at 20p/share. Otherwise the action is pointless and would leave the TOP with no teeth, which is what this section was intended to give it. Now whilst this clause has to date never been used before and hence there is no specific case law on the particular subject, the wording gives very little wriggle room to me – the court is there to provide the legal means to secure compliance with the TOPs order.

    I couldn’t really understand why CCKs counsel went through the whole there’s no point, my client is skint scenario when there is very little room to move here. If somehow the judge says well I could make an order but there’s no point this will go to the supreme court ASAP. The TOP will not want to see their new found powers able to be brushed aside by some scheming mug pleading poverty. If they play with the big boys expect the consequences.

    Interesting that we’re getting to the middle of the month and so far no announcement about the loan from NOAL the accounts stated was needed in November…

    1. Without external finance in the next two weeks wages will not be paid.
      Without external finance in the next two weeks the club will go into Administration.
      Without external finance in the next two weeks the club will fold.
      This is a loss making company with no line of credit.There is no way to make money by giving it away. Can anyone make a solid business case for any external financier to ‘invest’? I cannot see one.

  7. I read the daily mail article on David Whitehouse , he was advised by anti terrorist Police his life and home were at risk!!

    FFS all over a football club!

    I know they have no shame but…..

    I am speechless!

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