Sports Personality of The Year Awards

This year’s sports personality of the year award goes to Craig Whyte.

As he danced Gangnam Style out of the High Court in Glasgow


it was a fitting end to a multi-million pounds witch hunt.

This year’s International Award goes to DCI Jim Robertson and his pert assistant.

They left no stone unturned and no per diem unclaimed in their pursuit of Whyte. Did love blossom even though they were on to plums? I’m a sucker for a happy ending. With £16m in compensation claims for unlawful arrests, one could be looking at £20m for this fiasco. If I were unlucky Jim I would have my Police Federation Rep on speed dial.

No review of the sports personalities of the year would be complete without a mention of the departing chairman of Rangers Lite, the ever so glib and shameless Dave King, who receives the Lifetime Achievement Award for fucking over two clubs. Chapeau!


Dave was unable to receive his award in person as he has rheumatism in his shoulder, to be specific a certain coldness in his scapula, so he sent along The Magnificently Maned Adulterer to collect the award on his behalf. Paul is dating a clairvoyant au moment. One wonders what she sees in Lite’s future


The Manager of The Year Award was a close run thing between two short planks in the world class Murray Park refectory and Pedro The Plank. However in recognition of his taking on the Klan in the shrubbery and being barking apropos caravans, Pedro powered through to claim his prize.



Ibrox Legend Paul Gascoigne took time off from being the Ibrox Middle East Peace Envoy to present the award:


Paul recommends that Mahmoud Abbas and  Benjamin Netanyahu go fishing together. He has even donated his Ibrox-issue waders. What’s a few Fenian blood stains between friends?


The final word goes to your humble correspondent who would like to wish the supporters of The Sitonfence Speakeasy a fulfilling  and peaceful Xmas. Let’s hope Santa is good to you.





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17 thoughts on “Sports Personality of The Year Awards”

  1. Really nice piece.

    Six years of High farce. Very entertaining.

    A lot of it brought to us by Jabba (lacking good judgement) media.

    Shirley the award for best behind camera moments goes to Bumbling Jim Traynor? The ever present influence with all Sevco Boards.

    Jabba doing gangnam style, now there’s a vision.

  2. No long term manager. No new players in the January window. No payments for the creditors. No money for wages. When will the Bears waken from their 6 year hibernation to realise that 2012 will not be as bad as 2018.

  3. Merry Christmas JJ and I hope you have a spectacular 2018. You set up he bar really high with 2017’s work. Keep up the great work.

    I am tempted to say, wot no award to that Myopic Master of Mendacity, operating at a High Level whilst directing the Cirque du Soleil of Squirrels (aka Flabber le Gutt) ?

  4. CCK trying on an appeal allegedly.

    A cynical squirm to push back the £11m offer until after the Debt for share swap?

    I’m sure any submitted grounds for appeal will be quickly dismissed.

  5. ‘Tis the season to be jolly with the gift that keeps on giving. Thanks JJ, stay safe and have a peaceful Christmas yourself.

  6. I think you are somewhat harsh on Pistolero Pedro. He was only trying to explain to raging bears that to be successful the club would have to solicit monies from a hedge fund.

  7. Brilliantly written end of year piece, have a very happy and holy Christmas with family and friends. Incidentally you do have a follower at the Vatican!!!! Ex Langbank, Blair’s and Scots College seminarian and my uncle Regards Neil

    Sent from my iPad


  8. JJ – Its the day before Xmas and all should be peaceful, however we are realists. My dismay is that I send you messages in order to prove my worth and get no response. I see you as a fair, truthful and just man so please advise accordingly. I am either in or out, more than likely out it would appear. Peaceful and safe wishes to you.

  9. Happy Christmas and all the best for 2018 JJ. Keep up the good work and stay safe. Sorry it took me so long to change from being a lurker to a recurring contributor.

  10. A very clever and funny article and a fitting way to round up the year as well as rounding up the characters associated with the Ibrox farce.

    There is a full page on the King fiasco in today’s Scottish Mail on Sunday. The piece is written by Gary Keown in the sports section (Gary reads this site). “Talk is cheap” is the headline and he goes on to report some of the madness which we have discussed for the past few years. He slates King for ‘living in dreamland’ and countless broken promises. And he mentions the absurdity of a business plan for breaking even in ‘a few years’ which is predicated on some form of Europa League football. No doubt, he won’t now be welcome at Ibrox, but at least he has at least listed a catalogue of disasters and broken promises under this not-fit-for-purpose board.

    King will be away soon but he leaves a legacy of chaos and fiscal vandalism. He has (as you rightly point out) played a role in destroying TWO clubs. That is some achievement.

    Merry Christmas to all.

  11. The best thing the rangers fans could sell their shares so as, to drain 11 million from king,and with season ticket moneys it could give them a war chest of 24 million starting season 2018 going forward

  12. 2018 will be sfa moving on year clubs to be renamed American football style.e.g The Maryhill Thrill,The Glasgow Irish.The Motherwell Steelers,The Gorgie Twirlers,The Leith Sunshine ,The Bonnie Dundee,PSJ,The Glasgow Tacks Stealers, if they don’t get tintacked by other clubs.

  13. If you put a graphic of Ibrox stadium under Whyte’s gangnam feet it would be more hilarious.

    The Sevco Board Strategy is to win a CL group stage place. It’s critical for financial survival.

    To achieve this they sack their international manager and appoint the youth coach to end of season. How is that going to secure a CL group place? How is that even going to improve the club going forward to next year?

    The Bearsies of 1872 are beginning to suss the keep the fans involved, keep the club stunted, milk their cash conspiracy agenda.

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