Charles Green’s basket of assets may be many things but as his counsel at The Court of Session was quick to point out, they’re not Rangers. The odious Stewart Regan, with one eye on a second-rate Scotland team having a sponsor and a broadcast partner, and the concomitant bonuses which add padding to the cushiest job in football, transferred the SFA membership of the former club to Rangers Lite. The even more odious Ménage a trois Ballantyne – who saved Regan’s bacon when there were calls to have the blue Smurf sacked – then audaciously conferred the titles won by the former club to the basket case of assets. Seventeen of these titles were bent but the arch Hun that is Ballantyne did not give a flying fuck for sporting integrity. The doyen of triangular rumpy pumpy would be hard pressed to spell the words. Of course he could not have transferred these titles without a green light from Regan and Doncaster. When one adds Longmuir to the mix one has has the architects of The Great Continuation Swindle.
I won’t tire of calling these corrupt bastard out. When it comes to corruption at the heart of Scottish football I am indefatigable.
One of these corrupt bastards, Regan, deemed that a convicted criminal who led an illegal concert party putsch was ‘fit and proper’ to be the chairman of the holding company which runs the member club. King’s hired gun in South Africa gave all the excuses required to allow King to carve up Rangers Lite. Regan may have not started life as a Rangers supporter, but as we have seen with LNS and Resolution 12, he is up to his knees in bloody corruption. Did Campbell Ogilvie hold Regan hostage? Is the blue Smurf suffering from Stockholm Syndrome?
I digress. The stylish thriller of 1995 that spawned the title of this piece introduced the term ‘buckwheat‘ to the urban dictionary. This refers to one being executed by a bullet fired directly into the rectum so as to induce a slow and inordinately painful death. Much the same as we are witnessing at Ibrox.
The news that Virgil Van Dijk has signed for Liverpool for a king’s ransom of £75m is music to the ears of the Celtic board who had the foresight to add a 10% sell-on clause when Van Dijk transferred to Southampton for £13m. The £7.5m windfall is equivalent to the sum required to keep Lite solvent.
When King was agitating for Rangers Lite supporters to send their season ticket money to him – with Richard Gough taking a break from gloryhole carousing to add gravitas to King’s pitch – he asserted that there was no need for austerity at Ibrox.
He was of course lying. Murty’s promotion to the role of first team coach is a direct consequence of a club that is trading whilst insolvent. Murty was the only employed coach that Rangers Lite could afford.
I predicted that Rangers Lite would run Celtic ragged at Celtic Park on Saturday. I predicted Celtic would have no answer for Pena, Windass and Miller. I could see so many weaknesses that I knew the wheels at Celtic were beginning to come off. I did not have long to wait until the Celtic juggernaut jackknifed at Tynecastle.
However in many ways this 0-4 reverse was a good thing for Celtic. Preserving the unbeaten record was becoming a millstone around the players’ necks. No-one was prepared to throw caution to the wind to eke out a win when a draw served the invincible doctrine. Celtic are now playing with more freedom. Players who had become jaded have been replaced by others in the squad with more hunger.
Murty will follow the Anderlecht/Hearts formula, but Lite don’t have the technical ability to execute this strategy. Playing 3-4-3 at Tynecastle was tactically cavalier. Rodgers will set out a team that will put 14 points of daylight between Glasgow’s pre-eminent club and the buckwheat at Ibrox. The penny will soon drop at the penny arcade that is Rangers Lite.
Hibs should be in third place in the SPFL. They wiped the floor with Lite at Easter Road and were denied a stonewall penalty. Last night they had a goal disallowed in the Old Firm derby, despite the ball having clearly crossed the line. Is Lennon being punished for creating a dossier of ‘honest mistakes‘ whilst at Celtic? It certainly looks that way. Which reminds one that Bent Boddy Madden will be in charge of the Glasgow Derby on Saturday. Should Leigh Griffiths suffer a waist-high tackle from behind in the box, with the Celtic striker carted off to A&E, arch Hun Madden will look the other way. Awarding this game to a Rangers supporting blatant cheat is an outrage. But then outrages are second a penny in the Banana Republic of Scottish Football. Should Ryan Jack regain fitness after yet another assault by a cage fighter masquerading as a footballer – Cedric Kipre – he can foul with impunity as Madden would never be the one to fart in the Rangers team bath.
One doubts that the denizens of Paternoster Square have a team bath. However if they did and chose to lather up in unison this morning, they would note that Dave King had taken a dump in it. A big steaming Greyfriars Bobby – a ‘Madden’ if you will – from south of the Limpopo. As they exited the foaming brouhaha faster than swimmers at Amity Island beach they would not be blowing bubbles at King’s unseemly deposit. They would be spitting blood.
Regular readers will note that I have been in touch with the Takeover Panel Executive (TPE) to apprise them of the ‘majesty’ that is King’s four decades career as a criminal. Some of their number now follow our site. They are playing close attention to the proposed directors carve-up. King, who always thinks he’s the smartest man in the room but rarely is, knows full well that any appeal of Lord Bannatyne’s opinion is a non-starter. However he wants to buy time to throw a spoke into the TPE’s wheel.
Let’s assume that the rogue board issue all the shares as per the green light of 78.3% of their stakeholders. £1,086,376.01 equates to 108,637,601 one penny shares. The current issued shares anount to 81,478,201. King has been ordered to offer 20p for every share which is not in the purview of his concert party.
King currently owns 11,869,505 shares; George Taylor 7,.575,000; Douglas Park 5,000,000; George Letham 3,299,515. The Illegal Concert Party own and control the voting rights of 27,744,020 ordinary shares. King has been ordered to make an offer to those in possession of 53,734,181 shares. At 20p per share he could be staring down the barrel of £10,746,836.20.
So let’s cut to the chase. If the Illegal Concert Party wish to maintain their current equity ratio, in an expanded RIFC issued equity pot of 190,115,802 ordinary shares, then King’s 14.57% would be maintained if he held 27,699,872 shares. He would require an additional 15,840,367 shares in the expanded enterprise.
When one considers the concert party, George Taylor’s 9.30% if maintained would equate to 17,680,769 shares. Douglas Park’s 6.14% would account for 9,505,790 of the issued shares. George Letham’s holding of 4.05% would equate to 7,699,690 shares.
A grand total of 62,586,120 shares. However there’s a sting in the tail. If King sells any of the remaining shares not within the concert party purview, all 127,529,682 of them, then he would be duty-bound to purchase them at 20p as per the TPE edict. James Blair reassured River & Merrcantile and Julian Woolhardt that they would be looked after if they voted with the rogue board, but can one conceive of them paying 20p per share to maintain their equity ratio in the expanded enterprise? No, but if they were offered one penny shares they might bite and hold King to his 20p ransom.
King is an old hand at manipulating shares in South Africa but he is being scrutinised. I don’t foresee any situation where this will play out well for King.
I can foresee ‘buckwheat‘ for the departing chairman.
Things To Do In Govan When You’re Dead.