Things To Do In Govan When You’re Dead

Charles Green’s basket of assets may be many things but as his counsel at The Court of Session was quick to point out, they’re not Rangers. The odious Stewart Regan, with one eye on a second-rate Scotland team having a sponsor and a broadcast partner,  and the concomitant bonuses which add padding to the cushiest job in football, transferred the SFA membership of the former club to Rangers Lite. The even more odious Ménage a trois Ballantyne – who saved Regan’s bacon when there were calls to have the blue Smurf sacked – then audaciously conferred the titles won by the former club to the basket case of assets. Seventeen of these titles were bent but the arch Hun that is Ballantyne did not give a flying fuck for sporting integrity. The doyen of triangular rumpy pumpy would be hard pressed to spell the words. Of course he could not have transferred these titles without a green light from Regan and Doncaster. When one adds Longmuir to the mix one has has the architects of  The Great Continuation Swindle.

I won’t tire of calling these corrupt bastard out. When it comes to corruption at the heart of Scottish football I am indefatigable.

One of these corrupt bastards, Regan, deemed that a convicted criminal who led an illegal concert party putsch was ‘fit and proper’ to be the chairman of the holding company which runs the member club. King’s hired gun in South Africa gave all the excuses required to allow King to carve up Rangers Lite. Regan may have not started life as a Rangers supporter, but as we have seen with LNS and Resolution 12, he is up to his knees in bloody corruption. Did Campbell Ogilvie hold Regan hostage? Is the blue Smurf suffering from Stockholm Syndrome?

I digress. The stylish thriller of 1995 that spawned the title of this piece introduced the term ‘buckwheat‘ to the urban dictionary.  This refers to one being executed by a bullet fired directly into the rectum so as to induce a slow and inordinately painful death. Much the same as we are witnessing at Ibrox.

The news that Virgil Van Dijk has signed for Liverpool for a king’s ransom of £75m is music to the ears of the Celtic board who had the foresight to add a 10% sell-on clause when Van Dijk transferred to Southampton for £13m. The £7.5m windfall is equivalent to the sum required to keep Lite solvent.

When King was agitating for Rangers Lite supporters to send their season ticket money to him – with Richard Gough taking a break from gloryhole carousing to add gravitas to King’s pitch – he asserted that there was no need for austerity at Ibrox.

He was of course lying. Murty’s promotion to the role of first team coach is a direct consequence of a club that is trading whilst insolvent. Murty was the only employed coach that Rangers Lite could afford.

I predicted that Rangers Lite would run Celtic ragged at Celtic Park on Saturday. I predicted Celtic would have no answer for Pena, Windass and Miller. I could see so many weaknesses that I knew the wheels at Celtic were beginning to come off. I did not have long to wait until the Celtic juggernaut jackknifed at Tynecastle.

However in many ways this 0-4 reverse was a good thing for Celtic. Preserving the unbeaten record was becoming a millstone around the players’ necks. No-one was prepared to throw caution to the wind to eke out a win when a draw served the invincible doctrine. Celtic are now playing with more freedom. Players who had become jaded have been replaced by others in the squad with more hunger.

Murty will follow the Anderlecht/Hearts formula, but Lite don’t have the technical ability to execute this strategy. Playing 3-4-3 at Tynecastle was tactically cavalier. Rodgers will set out a team that will put 14 points of daylight between Glasgow’s pre-eminent club and the buckwheat at Ibrox. The penny will soon drop at the penny arcade that is Rangers Lite.

Hibs should be in third place in the SPFL. They wiped the floor with Lite at Easter Road and were denied a stonewall penalty. Last night they had a goal disallowed in the Old Firm derby, despite the ball having clearly crossed the line. Is Lennon being punished for creating a dossier of ‘honest mistakes‘ whilst at Celtic? It certainly looks that way. Which reminds one that Bent Boddy Madden will be in charge of the Glasgow Derby on Saturday. Should Leigh Griffiths suffer a waist-high tackle from behind in the box, with the Celtic striker carted off to A&E, arch Hun Madden will look the other way. Awarding this game to a Rangers supporting blatant cheat is an outrage. But then outrages are second a penny in the Banana Republic of Scottish Football. Should Ryan Jack regain fitness after yet another assault by a cage fighter masquerading as a footballer – Cedric Kipre – he can foul with impunity as Madden would never be the one to fart in the Rangers team bath.

One doubts that the denizens of Paternoster Square have a team bath. However if they did and chose to lather up in unison this morning, they would note that Dave King had taken a dump in it. A big steaming Greyfriars Bobby – a ‘Madden’ if you will – from south of the Limpopo. As they exited the foaming brouhaha faster than swimmers at Amity Island beach they would not be blowing bubbles at King’s unseemly deposit. They would be spitting blood.

Regular readers will note that I have been in touch with the Takeover Panel Executive (TPE) to apprise them of the ‘majesty’ that is King’s four decades career as a criminal. Some of their number now follow our site. They are playing close attention to the proposed directors carve-up. King, who always thinks he’s the smartest man in the room but rarely is, knows full well that any appeal of Lord Bannatyne’s opinion is a non-starter. However he wants to buy time to throw a spoke into the TPE’s wheel.

Let’s assume that the rogue board issue all the shares as per the green light of 78.3% of their stakeholders. £1,086,376.01 equates to 108,637,601 one penny shares. The current issued shares anount to 81,478,201. King has been ordered to offer 20p for every share which is not in the purview of his concert party.

King currently owns 11,869,505 shares; George Taylor 7,.575,000; Douglas Park 5,000,000; George Letham 3,299,515. The Illegal Concert Party own and control the voting rights of 27,744,020 ordinary shares. King has been ordered to make an offer to those in possession of 53,734,181 shares. At 20p per share he could be staring down the barrel of £10,746,836.20.

So let’s cut to the chase. If the Illegal Concert Party wish to maintain their current equity ratio, in an expanded RIFC issued equity pot of 190,115,802 ordinary shares,  then King’s 14.57% would be maintained if he held 27,699,872 shares. He would require an additional 15,840,367 shares in the expanded enterprise.

When one considers the concert party, George Taylor’s 9.30% if maintained would equate to 17,680,769 shares. Douglas Park’s 6.14% would account for 9,505,790 of the issued shares. George Letham’s holding of  4.05% would equate to 7,699,690 shares.

A grand total of 62,586,120 shares. However there’s a sting in the tail. If King sells any of the remaining shares not within the concert party purview, all 127,529,682 of them, then he would be duty-bound to purchase them at 20p as per the TPE edict. James Blair reassured River & Merrcantile and Julian Woolhardt that they would be looked after if they voted with the rogue board, but can one conceive of them paying 20p per share to maintain their equity ratio in the expanded enterprise?  No, but if they were offered one penny shares they might bite and hold King to his 20p ransom.

King is an old hand at manipulating shares in South Africa but he is being scrutinised. I don’t foresee any situation where this will play out well for King.

I can foresee ‘buckwheat‘ for the departing chairman.

Things To Do In Govan When You’re Dead.













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16 thoughts on “Things To Do In Govan When You’re Dead”

  1. Bobby Madden will cheat on Saturday. That’s a known fact. No Rangers player will be booked in the first twenty minutes no matter how egregious their assaults will be. Scott Brown is unlikely to see out 90 minutes. If a Rangers player faints in the penalty box then Bobby will point to the spot. History will only show the result. Why is Scotland the only country where a self professed supporter of Rangers is chosen to officiate. We all know why. The most corrupt country in Europe.

    1. Most corrupt country in Europe, yet CFC fans voted Yes in their droves expecting some Rooseveltian style New Deal from Salmond, Sturgeon and Monsieur Juncker. Or was it just to get it up the Huns? Laughable either way.

      And yes, Hibs and Lennon were robbed again last night. That’s the kind of blatant cheating that goes unnoticed because it’s the green and white of Hibs and not Celtic. We just have to suck it up and expect nothing but the exact same to happen again when we next face Edinburgh’s establishment club.

  2. The spotlight will be on Bobby Madden not to make a mistake i am sure he is also done with Sevco and his job is worth more. The old paranoia no longer washes with Celtic fans, the team are in control of their own destinies and have been drilled to take the hits and win the football.
    The tried and tested deny them everything is changing, when Celtic play at Celtic Park the camera angles will be well covered, last night was a case in point for goal line technology but this will only happen at the big capture media interest games and refs now see this.
    There is more to life than Sevco if you are a ref nowadays which is starting to dawn on the likes of Collum etc who now enjoy the status of FIFA and UEFA officiating, you would need to be mad to conflict your career for the tribute act, it no longer makes sense.
    Last night was an honest mistake and i no longer buy into commentator analysis, they also have to create an interest or whats the point of them, Tom English cannot decide where his loyalties lie he is a man of opinion who chooses to go where the flock go, no independence like sheep.
    Sutton calls it as he sees it he got into the debate and called it terrible officiating but was cute to add goal line technology, he knows how to give a balance and cause both intellegence and controversy, this is the key to good football skills in the commentary know your audiences not your audience.
    Celtic will beat themselves if they are to beat this is what happened at Tynecastle complaceny crept in and before they realised it was over. When you drive you rest when you can and you get there fresh. Celtic will go nto cruise control after the break, new players will play and others will rest there will be no cull, guys like Boyatat have held the fort and the cavalary is now arriving well drilled and ready to claim the title and prepare in advance for the next European qualifiers, it is how it is and has to be, Celtic will have a few gems tucked away should the next European assualt draw a hard nut and they will strengthen again and keep trying its the Celtic way, Happy New Year JJ and take care, one day i will be in a better place also.

  3. Ref the whole continuation lie…
    Isn’t it ironic that an Organisation formed in 2012 called itself Club 1872 and with a mission statement to “defend and protect the reputation, history, assets and existence of Rangers Football Club”
    Conversely, Rangers Football Club (RFC) which WAS formed in 1872 was renamed at the same time RFC 2012, following the rejection of CVA and forced into liquidation 🤔🧐

  4. Madden in charge seriously, after last time? I recollect David Hay in the 80s saying that he would strengthen the team in order ‘to overcome all obstacles’ following blatant ref cheating

    1. David Hay actually said that Celtic should remove themselves from Scottish Football due to the decisions of conflicted referees, guys like Syme whom held at least two season tickets at Ibrox, guys like McCluskey whom was restrained by a fellow rangers supporter (the custody officer at Stewarton) when he was so drunk in the cells in between “songs” he rhymed off all the decisions he had given against Celtic.

  5. Ok, all is 1872 shit, I’ve had enough of it.

    The letterhead of RFC up to liquidation and then Sevco, pretending to be RFC, after liquidation had 1873 very clearly emblazoned at the top of all communiques. 1873!

    Admittedly I did speak with Companies House and HMRC regards the illegal phoenixing, and both played pass the parcel over whose responsibility it was to remind those at Ibrox that they were pissing all over corporate law (stop laughing at the back), and shortly afterwards the big 1872 push came in to play. It also helped push forward a fake anniversary to try to rob the poor morons of more of their cash. True to form all these fuck nuggets have bought it. Take a look at any bigoted trumpeteering on social media and you are faced with Kyle1872 and his mates BigOrangeBJKFTPGSTQ1872 and PhantomRaspberryBlowerOfOldLondonderryTown1872 all spouting their deluded garbage whilst having fallen for the marketing ploy! All of them also have poppies over their avatar too! Who would have thought it eh? Tubes!

    The gallant young men may have met in 1872 or 1690 but the club was more than happy with 1873 until their death, but this new one is not just content with pretending to be the same age as the dead one, they want to be a year older, the pricks.

  6. First time posting and long term reader. Once over the hump of Xmas, donation will be made JJ.

    I dont buy any bias with referees im afraid. The incident last night was an impossible angle for the linesman with a defender and the woodwork blocking his view. We need to give the officials a helping hand in these situations.

    As for Madden, according to Soccerbase, he has given us 6 penalties in 24 games and Sevco 5 penalties in 23 games. He has red carded 2 from each side and booked 34 of their players and 25 of ours. Im afraid the stats above do not in anyway suggest he will give them a penalty or send one of our players off unnecessarily. The best team on the day (Celtic) will win and we need to move away from this paranoia.

    1. Have a look at Griffiths being tackled waist high from the rear as he was about to pull the trigger. Stonewall penalty that would have almost certainly resulted in a win for Celtic. Madden cheated – it’s plain and simple.

  7. Buckwheat is part of the Rhubarb family, incidentally Rhubarb is a vegetable often used in desserts.
    Revenge is a dessert best eaten cold so I’ll wait till Karma catches up with King.
    Rhubarb and Karma anyone?

  8. Regarding the Madden debate, the late, great Jock Stein had a unique way of dealing with a referee he thought had been unfair to Celtic.
    In the winter months, he would order the referee’s room to be cut off from heating and only cold water in the showers, if really mad, he even told tea ladies NOT to give ref and linesmen a pot of tea…

  9. To eminent intellectual observers of Scottish football, the desperate manoeuvrings of blue desperadoes and their court jester sidekick factotum have provided years of mirthful merriment in an otherwise lacklustre old and New blue section of Scottish football.

    All of their reputations are shattered to pieces.

    All televised games in Scotland are now indubitably digitally recorded by interested entrepreneurs and Geeks. Spreadsheet databases of all wrongful errors in the Scottish game are meticulously updated. Columns on spreadsheets covering every detailed incident of each match maintained and crossed referenced/hyperlinked to the digital tv slice of the action.

    Penalties awarded, penalties denied tables meticulously kept.

    Criticality of error weighted against League/cup and game criticality outcome.

    Millions of pounds now critically depend on competent officials and competent decisions.

    Running KPIs of Referees, Linesmen and fourth officials are being operated to conclude who are the most erroneous officials in Scottish Football. Who have the most errors. Who have the most critical errors. Who have match and competition determining errors.

    Think Sportscene with more time and analysis applied.

    All of this evidence of [corruption] [bias] [incompetence] [honest mistakes] (tick as appropriate) can be shared with UEFA and FIFA to assist them in Referee selection. It can be published on the Internet for all fans to enjoy openness and honesty in SFA officials ranked performances.

    The incompetent must be weeded out the game. If it’s an error and you insist you’re not bent, then you must be incompetent.

    There is an initiative to link databased Referee errors and their criticality, to football journalists’ opinions on the incident. Listing whether they are siding with the ref or calling it a wrong decision. Trends in opinion will appear. Habitual journos who get it wrong clearly don’t know their jobs and should be ridiculed and weeded out the game.

    Eminent foreign fifa and uefa Referees can be employed as consultants (paid by review) to review the footage in their own countries and provide the professional impartial Last word (three to five Refs independent of each other per incident). From Germany, France, England, Ireland, USA, Brasil, Poland, Spain, Italy, Romania, Portugal, Czech Republic, Switzerland, etc….

    Unanimous decisions will be crushing.

    Advertising and subscriptions (Clubs, SPFL, Media outlets, TV, Newspapers, Journos,……) to detailed databases and analysis will provide income. Together with a mid season report and end of season annual report for sale with tables, statistics, Year on year growth or reduction in errors, tables of worst refs, linesmen in the game. Financial costs to clubs of their errors, month by month analysis, do errors occur in title run in? Etc….

    What would SPFL Premiership table look like End of season with three, five, ten and 20 top errors adjusted to correct decision.

    Conclusions and Findings stated.

  10. “If your good enough the ref doesnt matter”

    The only silly thing Jock Stein ever said.

    He wasn’t saying it after Bobby Davidson handed Aberdeen a Scottish Cup in 1970. And he wouldn’t have said it had he lived to see McCurry, Tait and Madden in their pomp. The odds on a cakewalk on Saturday have suddenly narrowed considerably with the former stalwart of the EK Salmon Leap RSC bus in charge.

  11. the comment above on the statistical spread of Maddens work is interesting and deserves thought.
    That said seems to me that the “when” of a refs decision rather than its frequency is decisive if you want to cheat.
    This applies whether a decision is made wrongly or not made wrongly.

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