There is only one sports reporter worth reading at The Daily Record. He keeps winning awards but let’s face it the bar in the SMSM is set low. I hesitate to use the term ‘journalist.’ His name is Keith Jackson. Jackson and his colleague Gary Ralston are tame ‘journalists’; the go-to-lickspittles that respond to Jim Traynor’s beck and call. Traynor has been tasked with quashing reports of Administration at RIFC. Traynor reached out to Ralston & McCoist.
One wonders how much McCoist was paid by Traynor. Did the former turn out solely for the appearance fee gigs or did he insist on a tax-efficient remittance to his charitable trust? Would I be misquoting Charles Green when he asserted that McCoist was:
“A self-serving grasping little bastard.”
Charles reads this site and will be quick to correct me if I left anything out. Perhaps an industrial epithet starting with the letter C, which rhymes with runt, would be more apposite? As we learned from the Craig Whyte trial, reported exclusively on this site, McCoist arranged for punitive penalty clauses in his contract to be triggered should he not succeed Walter Smith. His £750,000 basic, £125,000 expense account requiring receipts and a £125,000 float provided McCoist with a seven-figure stipend as Rangers hurtled into administration and subsequent liquidation. An administration that he backed.
When Charles Green bought the basket case of assets, Ally was quick to TUPE to maintain his seven-figure sinecure, adding some one pence shares for good measure. Did Ally make a call to the Magnificently-Maned Adulterer to confirm Traynor’s spin, or was Paul too busy counting his disguised remuneration as a director of Garrion Security? Or perhaps Paul was engaged launching Vicast, the app that he hosts with fellow nosebag recipient Martin Bain? With so many fish to be filleted it’s no surprise that Paul is dating a clairvoyant to anticipate what’s coming down the pike.
McCoist reminds one of the CSA’s bête noire BFDJ, minus the illegitimate offspring. McCoist has also sired 5 children, but did not choose to forget two of them. The joy of being a Real Rangers Man.
Raving Ralston is unequivocally on Level 5 message. He borrowed BFDJ’s fetching ra-ra skirt and Pom Poms to produce a Ministry of Pishery intra vires palmarius:
“So, that will be Rangers heading into administration then. What do you mean they’ll make the announcement on Monday? My sources (a friend of a friend of a friend) was packing the bags of Dave King’s mum in Tesco and heard her on the phone to her boy in Johannesburg. It’ll be announced on Wednesday morning at 10.37am on the button. Apparently, it’s a pre-pack deal (the administration, not her shopping) and the Ibrox chairman will receive £10million, walking away to be replaced by a consortium fronted by Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un. Further investors will include Bradley Walsh, Paul Sinha, Anne Hegerty and Mark Labbett, offering conclusive proof Rangers do, indeed, welcome The Chase.
Rangers administration odds suspended but eager rival fans are forgetting one thing
As Rumours go, this latest one has been hanging around longer than anything recorded by Fleetwood Mac – and has enjoyed just as many re-releases.
Like the first cuckoo in spring, swallow in summer and robin in winter, the sightings of ‘Rangers in administration’ are certainly consistent and, time and again, have proved to be nothing other than pie in the sky.
King and the Three Bears – Douglas Park, George Letham and George Taylor – have invested heavily to wrestle control from the discredited former board and put their club on a firmer financial footing in the past three years.
Conservative estimates put the total invested at around £20million, much of it from King himself, who has given a further undertaking to auditors Campbell Dallas that he’s good for another £7m to underpin business losses over the next 12 months.
Campbell Dallas are hardly a firm of back street bookies. If they felt there was any likelihood of those sums being unavailable, they would not have signed off in the annual accounts on Rangers continuing as a going concern.
Speaking of the bookies, they apparently closed their satchels on the prospect of Rangers being relegated this season, foreseeing a hefty points deduction and player fire sale if they fall into the abyss.
These, of course, are the same bookies who closed the book on Alex McLeish being named new Rangers boss last month when he had never received so much as a phone call about the position.
Rangers are in debt to no one but their investors, all of them wealthy fans who have pledged to convert much of their loans to equity when a new share issue is launched, most likely later in the year.
Forget the fact they’re supporters, why the hell would they pull the plug and plunge the club into further financial chaos, knowing they would lose almost everything they have put in?
By the end of this year, King will have committed around £40m of his business fortunes to Rangers – half of which was frittered away, much to his disgust, by former chairman David Murray.
In the past 12 months alone he has written a £3m cheque to rid the club of the odious influence on Mike Ashley and £1.5m to UEFA to ensure his team’s UEFA licence.
He has bankrolled Pedro Caixinha, however botched the project, and only this week signed off on a package for Jamie Murphy that will ultimately cost his club the guts of £2m.
There was £1m set aside in an escrow account to pay Aberdeen compensation for Derek McInnes and almost the same again on the table for a salary had the club’s former midfielder decided to leave Pittodrie for Edmiston Drive.
Undoubtedly, King must be held to account. He rode roughshod over the Takeover Panel, for example, who recently concluded he acted in concert with the Three Bears and have demanded he offer 20 pence to all shareholders for their stock, only around two-thirds of their current value
King has launched an appeal, which will keep it kicking around the legal long grass for a few months to come.
He’s confident of his position. If he loses? He’ll have to fork out around £300,000 for a prospectus knowing no-one will sell for the price he is legally bound to offer while his family trust fund, New Oasis Limited, ring fences £10m just in case.
Hold-on, a call’s just coming in – he’s just been spotted at the Ladbrokes on Copland Road.
He’s slapped £100 on Pep Guardiola at 500,000-1 to become his first-team manager next season. Administration? Aye, right.
Rangers fans, would you take up the 20p per share offer?”
One assumes that the original Traynor narrative did not include the pre-pack metaphor. Gout and humour are not easy bedfellows, especially when one has been cut off by Greggs. One would like to think that the Magnificently-Maned Adulterer knows how to source a tart or two to keep the Auchenhowie squatter sweet. Traynor also receives a free calendar, Ibrox Wives, which features a gaggle of women of a certain age risking life and limb while draped naked save a Union Jack g-string on the crumbling stands. A true collector’s item that is all the rage at The Health & Safety Executive.
Then there’s his monthly subscription to ‘Showing Pink in The Louden’ in which he places his copy of the Daily Record as he does not want to be seen carrying this failing organ. This title should not be confused with Mark Dingwall’s “Showing Pink in Delmonicas” which differs anatomically. Cue howls of ‘homophobia’ by the oh so PC herrenvolk.
I digress. There is only one fact in this work of fiction, and colour me surprised it’s inaccurate. King has been granted ‘leave to appeal.’ However the Takeover Panel petition to expedite this hearing was upheld yesterday. King has only bought himself five weeks to stave off the inevitable. The hearing, set for two days, will be heard on February 28/ March 1.
As for ring-fencing £10m has Ralston not been paying attention to King allegedly not having control of NOAL? Ralston should stick to Traynot’s script and not make things up to suit. Then there’s the fantasy £1m in an escrow account. Perhaps Ralston would like to explain how Milne refused permission when this clause in McInnes’ contract was met. It’s a barefaced lie by Ralston,
Then there’s Murphy whom they had to take on loan as they could not afford a down payment. Things are so tight that the players had to buy their own bucket shop economy airfare tickets to Florida as RIFC have been cut off by their appointed travel agent. I believe the agent is still awaiting payment for a number of business class trips from Johannesburg.
In the unlikely event that King offers 20p per share there will be a clamour to bite his hand off. Only the bent brief’s company would pay 27p per share; or as a disguised pay-off to Ashley.
Will the Gullibillies be suitably mollified by Raving Ralston and Mendacious McCoist? The monobrowed knuckle draggers will but what about the sentient minority who can can spell Phil Macgiollabhain? The Donegal Blogger bursts Raving Ralston’s bubble with a slew of rhetorical questions that are so detailed that one cannot take issue with their veracity. Will they be sent to Traynor in his guise as Ibrox Press Officer? Of course not. The questions are rhetorical. The answers are known:
1. Can you confirm or deny that late last year a representative of your club or a representative of your parent company RIFC contacted several companies to access invoice financing?
2. Can you confirm or deny that one of these financial institutions was Bibby Financial Services?
3. Can you confirm or deny that the invoice financing that was being requested was regarding the potential add ons from the sales of Joseph Garner and Martyn Waghorn?
4. Can you confirm or deny that these attempts to secure invoice financing from these companies was refused by all of them?
5. Can you confirm or deny that a decision (was made) within your club and/or parent company RIFC to seek quotes from licensed insolvency practitioners?
6. Can you confirm or deny that the following companies were contacted (either formally or informally) and asked to provide said quotes: Begbies Traynor: Johnstone Carmichael; MLM Solutions; 180 Solutions?
7. Could you confirm or deny that the agreed fee for appointing an Administrator should not exceed £500,000?
8. Can you confirm or deny that a planned insolvency event has been discussed by several directors of RIFC?
9. Can you confirm or deny that a representative of your club recently stated to Brighton and Hove Albion FC that your club did not have the money to pay for Jamie Murphy.
10. Can you confirm or deny that the initial offer to Murphy’s club was zero pounds upfront with the first tranche of £500,000 being paid in May 2018 when the season ticket money was in place?
11. Can you explain why your club has been unable to access an overdraft facility at any bank of financial institution?
So who to believe? Raving Ralston’s farrago of lies that would make a succulent lamb purveyor blush; or the spare rhetoric of Phil Macgiollabhain? Only a fool with the sentient capacity of a Smurf would choose Raving Ralston’s Reportage. However allow your humble correspondent to ask a question of his own:
12. Can you confirm or deny that David Murray is bankrolling Alastair Johnston’s pre-pack putsch against King and that the ultimate objective is the liquidation of RIFC with TRFC remaining intact?
Would it not be delicious should someone more adept in the dark arts fuck over King for a second time? Arise Sir Bribe & Lie!