Prior to the main thrust of an article which features the travails of Scottish football and its concomitant sports reportage, I take pause to note that the Football Blogging Awards have returned from a year-long hiatus. Colin Cooper, the brainchild behind the awards, has eschewed November as in past years and has plumped for May. We are just over three months away from the gala awards evening.
I recall the awards ceremony of 2016 as if it were yesterday. I was delighted to be on the shortlist and with the support of my readers, who bought into the virtual table concept, I could afford to attend. It would take more than a few virtual tables this year so my attendance is unlikely. I’m not quite sure which award category I would be eligible for. I somehow doubt that there will be an ‘enforced exile’ ticket. Blogging should not elicit death threats.
If I tossed my hat into the International award ring, Phil Mac, who has circa 35,000 Twitter followers, would blow my 6,000 followers away. I would be Sevco against his Celtic. I would probably not make the shortlist so it would be a moot point. I anticipate no favours from Colin Cooper’s new strategic partner, Snack Media. They did not vote for me in 2016 and would not do so in 2018. They would vote instead for The Celtic Blog as they own it. Those who value this site cast the votes that won my award. Had I been in the International category in 2016 I would have sunk without a trace. With my cynic’s eye I cannot envisage requiring the protection of Irish gangsters in May. I offer my heartfelt thanks to those who kept me safe in 2016.
I digress. The Level 5 SMSM lickspittles are doing their utmost to keep the lights on at the new club. Lite need to find circa £4m to survive until Administration Day on 14th February. In my trawl of social media postbags I encountered a contributor who hit the Lickspittles nail on the head. He referred to the SMSM inflation as the Barrie Mackay Algorithm (BMA).
To successfully execute the BMA one conjures up a fictitious purveyor, e.g. RB Leipzig, and multiplies a player’s actual worth, as paid by Nottingham Forest, by a factor of 12. Morelos, who would have problems finding a garter on one of Chick and Campbell’s lost lap-dancing weekends, has been puffed up like a Dave King share on the JSE. To more accurately estimate Morelos’ actual worth we invert the BMA to arrive at a value of 833,333. If we throw in a quantum for his agent’s fees we aggregate a cool million. Not bad for a Latin lightweight. Should he and Windass be sold (any takers at £300,000 in advance?) then Lite might just make payroll. This of course assumes that they don’t reimburse the Florida flight expenses this month. The flight debacle was exclusively revealed on this site despite another blogger trying to pass it off as his own.
In the Lickspittle Wonderland Jordan Rossiter, who has played 92 minutes of football this season against Luxembourg minnows, is a ‘star.’ Would it be more accurate to suggest that Lite would let him go for a chorus of The Billy Boys and throw in his treatment table for free?
Everyone’s under the hammer at Ibrox. Lite are under the cosh.