The Barrie Mackay Algorithm

Prior to the main thrust of an article which features the travails of Scottish football and its concomitant sports reportage, I take pause to note that the Football Blogging Awards have returned from a year-long hiatus. Colin Cooper, the brainchild behind the awards, has eschewed November as in past years and has plumped for May. We are just over three months away from the gala awards evening.

I recall the awards ceremony of 2016 as if it were yesterday. I was delighted to be on the shortlist and with the support of my readers, who bought into the virtual table concept, I could afford to attend. It would take more than a few virtual tables this year so my attendance is unlikely. I’m not quite sure which award category I would be eligible for. I somehow doubt that there will be an ‘enforced exile’ ticket. Blogging should not elicit death threats.

If I tossed my hat into the International award ring, Phil Mac, who has circa 35,000 Twitter followers, would blow my 6,000 followers away. I would be Sevco against his Celtic. I would probably not make the shortlist so it would be a moot point. I anticipate no favours from Colin Cooper’s new strategic partner, Snack Media. They did not vote for me in 2016 and would not do so in 2018. They would vote instead for The Celtic Blog as they own it. Those who value this site cast the votes that won my award. Had I been in the International category in 2016 I would have sunk without a trace. With my cynic’s eye I cannot envisage requiring the protection of Irish gangsters in May. I offer my heartfelt thanks to those who kept me safe in 2016.

I digress. The Level 5 SMSM lickspittles are doing their utmost to keep the lights on at the new club. Lite need to find circa £4m to survive until Administration Day on 14th February.  In my trawl of social media postbags I encountered a contributor who hit the Lickspittles nail on the head. He referred to the SMSM inflation as the Barrie Mackay Algorithm (BMA).

RB Leipzig line up shock £6million swoop for Barrie McKay as Rangers plan to offer the winger a new deal to stay at Ibrox.” The Sun.

To successfully execute the BMA one conjures up a fictitious purveyor, e.g. RB Leipzig, and multiplies a player’s actual worth, as paid by Nottingham Forest, by a factor of 12. Morelos, who would have problems finding a garter on one of Chick and Campbell’s lost lap-dancing weekends, has been puffed up like a Dave King share on the JSE. To more accurately estimate Morelos’ actual worth we invert the BMA to arrive at a value of 833,333. If we throw in a quantum for his agent’s fees we aggregate a cool million. Not bad for a Latin lightweight. Should he and Windass be sold (any takers at £300,000 in advance?) then Lite might just make payroll. This of course assumes that they don’t reimburse the Florida flight expenses this month. The flight debacle was exclusively revealed on this site despite another blogger trying to pass it off as his own.

In the Lickspittle Wonderland Jordan Rossiter, who has played 92 minutes of football this season against Luxembourg minnows, is a ‘star.’ Would it be more accurate to suggest that Lite would let him go for a chorus of The Billy Boys and throw in his treatment table for free?

Everyone’s under the hammer at Ibrox. Lite are under the cosh.



17 thoughts on “The Barrie Mackay Algorithm”

  1. JJ, by putting a f10m figure on his head any Championship teams who may have been interested will look elsewhere and therefore, as the MSSM role out the Level 5 line, then the player won’t be going anywhere thus validating the policy of making the fee public.
    However apparently Windass has a £3.5m buy out clause in his contract but if someone comes up with £300k then he’s gone.
    That’s going to hold up the policy to ridicule so what’s the point of putting silly valuations on players?

  2. JJ, after witnessing the fruits of Fleming’s school of match officials last night when the linesman clearly didn’t know that a player cannot be offside direct from a throw in, not for the first time I was left wondering exactly what criteria was required to make it to the top level of Scottish match officials.
    We are used to ‘honest mistakes’ and downright horrendous decisions by our refs and lines persons every week.
    However last night’s decision took things to a new level. We had a linesman involved in an important televised match who clearly didn’t understand a basic rule of the game for which there is absolutely no excuse.
    Did he skip the class that covered the cannot be offside direct from a throw in rule?
    On a wider note does our current group of Grade 1 officials fully represent in race, colour, creed and sex the Scottish population as a whole?
    Eg. I stand to be corrected but I can’t remember seeing a coloured official operating at Grade 1 level.
    Fleming, and the likes of Bryson, appear untouchable, no matter how they perform in their respective jobs.
    How can this be?

    1. Don’t worry,Mr.MadHun officiates at Liebrox tonight and at Parkhead on Saturday.What could possibly go wrong?….,,

  3. Doesn’t the £10 m headline mean that Rangers are controlling the ‘narrative’ surrounding their ‘stars’. its not just tabloid hyperbole. They ‘don’t need to sell’.

    Naw, ok.

    A bit slow from Celtic last night, there were moments where they got up to speed, but a wins a win for a’ that.

  4. I see the Daily Ranger has an online story saying that terms have been agreed with Hamilton over Craig Docherty, including a 6 figure fee, and that he’ll be announced as a Rangers player later today. Doesn’t quite square with what many people online are saying. Another L5 squirrel?

  5. My God……… Regan has really left us in the sh it with missing out on Michael O’Neil.
    Alex mcLiesh and/or God forbid Gary Cauldwell have both flung their hats into the pot to be our next national manager. May god have mercy on our souls.
    Meanwhile over in fantasy world a guy who hasn’t kicked a ball in 2/3 years is being sold for millions, he must be a good salesman, maybe he should move into the double glazing business.

  6. What made last night’s offside decision even more obvious was that the crowd realised instantly what he had done and began mocking the unfortunate/incompetent official. At least he earned the pity of Chris Sutton who sympathised with him standing in front of the Celtic crowd.

  7. Was it not ‘Phil Mac’ who conjured up the ‘Barry McKay Algorithm’ term? 22nd Jan?

    It’s a good one whatever…

    I’m fancying a house move/upgrade but finances not quite there. So was thinking of trying a big of ‘Sevconomics’ myself….

    Are Burple Pricks likely to accept my loan (with option to buy) terms on that 5 bed detached 17th century farmhouse in 3 acres of green belt?

    Ie – I move in next week with a £50 deposit. They continue to pay all fuel bills and council tax until August when I will decide if I want to keep it. At which time I will either move out (walk away) or pay a 10% first instalment with a further similar payment each January and August. Of course by that point the house will be worth 6x what I’ve agreed to pay for it since I’ve lived in it so now it’s better.

    How could they possibly refuse?!

    1. No this satirical concept was introduced in a comment on his site by one of his readers. But many like you will give him credit for the ‘exclusives’ that he has gleaned from his peers.

      1. Ok… I’ll defer to your more rigorous scrutiny of the blogs!

        As I said… It’s one that will run!


  8. Conor Sammon went straight to the crowd after scoring, yellow card offence every day of the week but never seen a Sevco player booked for it.

    1. Yes he did, it’s not a bookable offence.

      A player must be cautioned for:
      climbing onto a perimeter fence and/or approaching the spectators in a manner which can cause safety and/or security issues
      gesturing or acting in a provocative, derisory or inflammatory way
      covering the head or face with a mask or other similar item
      removing the shirt or covering the head with the shirt

      I know, it can be confusing as pundits often call offences wrong and thus it can stick in our brain.

  9. Hi JJ, I was a wee bit sick again but the monthly payment went thru yesterday. I thought I had made a once off donation to get the password but as I wasn’t at 100% I may not have followed the directions properly. I know you are busy but could you let me know the status or what I have got to do on top of the recurring payment. On a better note the Killie are playing well and with the luck of the draw have an outstanding chance of making the Cup Quarter finals where we hope to play Ayr Und !!
    yours in sport
    Gaun the Killie

    JJ: Drop me a quick line buddy. Another premium pay item is coming down the pike. Paul, who liked to have a kick at me as he did not receive his passwords hand delivered on a silver platter, will miss out as he cancelled his £50 recurring donation. I have some excellent pieces planned. I also have an insight that I’m not prepared to publish. Lurkers, like Paul, will miss out.

  10. Many people shouting for Regan’s head and are calling on him to resign.
    You need to have an ounce of integrity to quit a well paid job which this charlatan clearly doesn’t have.
    Oh how the blazers must be looking forward to their summer jaunt to the Americas.
    Celtic will be raging at the timing of the trip.
    Regan has lied through his teeth about the UEFA licence issued to Oldco in 2012. It’s all there in black and white in the statement he made about the tax bill not having crystallized at the appropriate UEFA cut off date.
    He has never retracted that statement despite everyone knowing it’s bullshit.
    Police Scotland should be interviewing Regan about his part in the clearly fraudulent licence application along with several others who were up to their necks in it.
    He’s a horrible runt of a man.

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