The Bank of Last Resort

The quintessentially clubbable Gullibillies who forked out a £500 joining fee and a recurring donation of £18.72 per month were promised a museum to take a gander at their ill-gotten financially-doped gains as conferred by the odious Ménage A Trois Ballantyne in a back of the house deal. Ballantyne, unlike his fellow Airdrie fans, is a hun with the bus fare. It was of course ‘pie & bovril‘ in the sky. Just like the NOMAD, the proposed listing on ISDX and the sisting of the former professional football club from its file in the Canada Square offices of the well-heeled joint liquidators. With their fees I assume their shoes are hand-made.

The latest stitch-up from the Blue Room is the Directors’ Equity Carvery. King did not ‘jet-in’ under his own steam to watch Little Bo Peep McInnes’ team lie down like lambs to the slaughter. He is in town for more succulent fare. King is soliciting a fast million from the Bent Brief’s Club 1872.

Their retained heads on a stick at Sevco Times were happy to spin out King’s narrative to the aye faithful:

Most Rangers supporters aren’t millionaires, but they don’t need to be because together we can invest millions of pounds in Rangers Football Club.”

I assume they are referring to The Rangers Football Club Ltd which was incorporated in 2012. If it were not for their continuation smoke and mirrors they could be coining in £20.12 per month from those with more money than sense. The millionaires who have ponied up loans to RIFC will be well looked after, as will those with holdings of 3%. The Bent Brief James Blair, in a flagrant display of insider trading, assured all the significant stakeholders that they would be well looked after if they voted for Resolutions 10 & 11. I have notified the Department of Takeovers and Mergers apropos the Bent Brief’s latest scam.

The Magnificently Maned Adulterer will be quick on the dreuth draw prior to Halitosis Halloween engaging his laughing gear. Will Donald get an invite or is he still in purdah for defending Whyte?

King was also in town to have first dibs on The Loving Cup. One can understand why he would pull rank to be first at the porcelain trough. Who would want to follow a French Kiss Quaff by Halitosis Halloween Houston? There would be more floaters than a primary school public swimming pool excursion. As for Sandy Prescriptions ‘R’ Us Chugg, things might take a decidedly psychedelic turn if he had a tab of acid on his tongue. Which would be apposite as the contributors to Club 1872 are being asked to part with their hard-earned to stand still. Perhaps they should promise ‘Lucy in the sky with diamonds’ and enclose a Chugg tab with every remitted begging letter aka prospectus.

Who would not want to pay top dollar for worthless shares? What’s a million or two between friends to facilitate the Directors’ Carvery? King will be slicing a good part of the 1872 heist rump, to be washed down with a Loving Cup Bordeaux.

With £7.2m to be found and loan deals to pay for, no sofa in Govan will remain intact. The Gullibillies will be in and out of the upholstery like potholers on speed.

Far be it for me to be the spectre at the Toby Jug Masonic Winding but those in Paternoster Square might call time on King’s session.

In the final analysis will the Gullibillies pony up on a King steed that will pull up lame like so many of its stable mates.

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11 thoughts on “The Bank of Last Resort”

  1. Another Rankers story…stop obsessing Celtic newsa app..bring us joy hope and happiness with our beloved Celtic ..giving ‘them’ any sort of headline feeds their rabid hatred of anything associated with the blessed ones!!…

  2. Brilliant ….love reading the patter on this blog …. excellent and funny and to the point in a manner all
    Celtic love…. keep it coming 🇮🇪

  3. 👏🏻😂🇮🇪King was also in town to have first dibs on The Loving Cup. One can understand why he would pull rank to be first at the porcelain trough. Who would want to follow a French Kiss Quaff by Halitosis Halloween Houston? There would be more floaters than a primary school public swimming pool excursion. As for Sandy Prescriptions ‘R’ Us Chugg, things might take a decidedly psychedelic turn if he had a tab of acid on his tongue. Which would be apposite as the contributors to Club 1872 are being asked to part with their hard-earned to stand still. Perhaps they should promise ‘Lucy in the sky with diamonds’ and enclose a Chugg tab with every remitted begging letter aka prospectus.

    That what I’m talkin about ….. superb …!!!!!

  4. Every gullibear who engages his one brain cell believes the moves king makes id the stuff of the stiff upper lip leader. If they stopped to think they might just realise this guy has put the brakes on his TOP dealings to allow time to squeeze more money from the pot. Deluded people have sworn an alligenance to a gang of vipers who have them where they want them, keep ponying up or we pull the rug from under you and expose your petty life to the mass media.
    Keith Jackson is the new DR cheerleader for the assualts on characters he tried it on with Tom English, the DR and ET are fully onboard and the narrative is to sell the same pish disguised as gummy bears.
    Honestly Murty is the man who has turned careers around, WTF, Traviener will topple Celtic and stop 10INAR, 10 million pound striker,honestly its hilarious they are heading for the big fall and King and co are get ready to leave Dodge with pockets loaded and ride into the sunset.
    JJ investigate the Hamilton losing money scam and put together the board member of Hamilton and then put back through Docherty that money to plug the gap that may well have been one team loaning another to keep the lights on.

  5. JJ, Apologies for the late monthly donation to your excellent site, Xmas blow out has to be paid for this month so its a slightly reduced donation from myself sir, This amount will be sent to you on or around this date as long as I am able to do so, Please keep shining the light on the rackateers of Scottish fiba.

  6. So it turns out that two directors gave away money to pay the January wages. With no significant income from transfers this team lurches along for a few more weeks. Who will offer to walk the financial plank next month?

  7. Peter the Hamilton internet scam does not make sense on so many levels. The release of a sum of money representing in excess of 10% of turnover and larger than monthly wage bill. Internal Hamilton approvals, banking clearing , receipt bank. Cyber security companies could track the money in 2 minutes. Where are Police Scotland on this one ……have they the skills or appetite to do into these murky waters ?

    The subsequent transfer of Docherty may be a connection or not. When a enterprise with a Criminal Chairman driving the show then all possibilities should be examined.

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