As Celtic short-changed their season ticket holders at Celtic Park with a second-rate second stringer performance, Ranges Lite closed the gap at the top to 9 points which is not an unassailable lead. Those who anticipated a procession to the seventh successive title win will look to Pittodrie for an improved performance and hope there is no hangover from the Zenit game. Hearts have all the efficacy of maroon bollards when they play at Ibrox so a home win will be a fixed-odds banker. Should the gap slip to six points then it really will be game on. Lite outplayed Celtic in the second half of the last encounter and had it not been for some improvised shot-stopping by Craig Gordon they would have left with all three points. From what I witnessed this weekend Lite’s loan business seems to have stolen a march on Celtic. Should Celtic lose this title to a team playing on fumes there will be no hiding place for Rodgers and his team.
I digress. The main threads of this piece will be the media, McLeish EBT, and some surprising developments at Ibrox. The night of the long knives that ushered in David Dick to the hot seat at The Daily Record has led to a serious schism with Foote’s understudies. I’m sure there is no truth in the rumour that some donned silks to jockey for position? The backbiting has been imparted to your humble correspondent. Apparently Dick has a penchant for describing his female assistants as ‘cyber bitches.‘ One can but hope that he does not change his pitch up and smack his cyber bitch up.
In a previous piece I referred to Darren “The Pouncer” Cooney taking advantage of a clearly ‘tired and emotional‘ young lady on a train. A complaint apropos Cooney’s sexual opportunism was followed up by British Transport’s finest. Cooney was suspended by The Daily Record. One wonders what was paid to the distressed young lady to make the charges go away? Any young lady graduating from journalism school should think twice about a career at this failing title. ‘Real Perverts Run The Record’ has a certain ring to it.
The appointment of the unemployable Alex McLeish EBT to the Scotland position and the fact that Sir Bribe & Lie would stop at nothing to win silverware has rekindled my interest in match fixing. Craig Whyte in his prospective book treatment referred to a chairman who was prepared to throw a game to secure a title win by Rangers. He did not name ‘names’ but was he referring to Dunfermline and their team’s 6-1 reverse at Ibrox which delivered the first of two titles to EBT McLeish? Chris Sutton was censured by the SFA for asserting that Jimmy Calderwood’s charges laid down to Rangers however could the prosaic fact be that they were paid to do so?
I remember the occasion as if it were yesterday. BBC Scotland sent its crack outside broadcast unit to Ibrox while dispatching a couple of CFC talking heads, two cans and some string to Rugby Park to cover Celtic’s game. CFC duly hit 4 without reply. Rangers who had cruised to a 5-1 lead unimpeded then slotted their sixth goal home with consummate ease. McLeish’s EBT All Stars won the league Championship by that single goal. Champagne was delivered to the Dunfermline dressing room. The losing team’s win bonuses were secure. It was a great piece of theatre. It was however a fix, scripted by Murray and executed with aplomb by Calderwood. The early goal by Dunfermline from an implausible distance was a squirrel that Yuanker Traynor would have been proud of.
Colour me surprised but the SFA looked away. When one later discovered that the majority of the Rangers team were being paid off the books the SFA continued to look away. On March 19, fifteen years will have passed since Rangers got away with this serial murder of sporting integrity. McLeish EBT celebrated in the Ibrox sun like the result was a surprise to him. Did he have a betting slip with 6-1 in his jacket pocket? Or was Calderwood given the honour as payment in kind?
News from Martin Williams – who will forever be remembered for his Engine Room Subsidiary Lite metaphor – that Stewart Robertson pulled down a whopping £281,000 which included a £64,000 bonus, truly beggars belief. What part of his KPI was triggered by a doubling of Lite’s losses? Was he recompensed for his initiative in finding a lender with an awning consisting of three brass balls?
On the subject of cojones the odious Andrew Dickson trousered £174,000 to partake in a game of rock, paper, scissors with his pockets and zipper fly. He is a man of many resolutions. I don’t need to date an old slapper with a crystal ball to predict that Resolution 12 will take a leading role in Dickson’s future.
As for Robertson will the SFA increase the Chief Executives’s salary to lure him to Hampden? Is Petrie briefing him on the QT as he did with Charles Green?
The SFA would exhume Jimmy Saville’s decomposed cadaver if he could fix it for them.