King Does ‘Walking Away’

Regular readers will note that I did not publish an article yesterday. However as I cleared my WordPress post-bag and my PayPal direct mail messages from readers, I was very much engaged on our site. One of the latter group suggested a model that I find attractive. He suggested 5 articles per week, with a 3:2 split on free-to-air and password protected articles.

This ticks a number of boxes for me. The lion’s share of my work will still be available to the disadvantaged. I will also be able to provide a more comprehensive service for those with recurring monthly donations of £10 or more.

I will look favourably on long-established £5 per month contributors but some will inevitably slip through the cracks. The £10 per month threshold comes with a guarantee.

As for ad hoc payments I can easily access all payments made by any individual reader and make a favourable judgement call. The password will be generic and apply to all protected pieces.

Those unhappy with the new approach, who paid £5.55, £1 or 1p will be eligible for a full refund. However should they request same they will lose the right to comment. They will lose their voice.

These changes are effective immediately as is my decision that only comments from those who contribute to our site will be moderated, approved and published.

Other than watching a thrilling game of rugby and winning my two pint bet that Kilmarnock would prevail at Ibrox and that Boyd (EBT x 2) would score, I read an interesting on-line contemporary history of Rangers as was, and the new club as is that I affectionately refer to as Rangers Lite, viz:

Follow We Will: The Fall and Rise of Rangers

In many ways it’s a counterpoint to Downfall. However it’s as flawed as the LNS findings which is no surprise as both are predicated on the FTT hearing. Despite these flaws which are compounded by espousing the Continuation myth, there are some fascinating takeaways, including a contribution by dyed-in-the-wool blue nose Richard Wilson who now plies his trade at BBC Freemason.

To the point and question viz:

The Rangers Tax Case (RTC) site is arguably the primary example of how an anonymous blog can direct the narrative of a story. How would you describe its contribution and that of similar websites?

Wilson offered:

At first RTC was a source of detailed and significant information. However the site quickly became a forum for anti-Rangers discussions, and the author of the blog was quite clear about their own allegiance. As a journalist you had to ask yourself if you could take the site seriously given the clear bias of the author, and indeed the commentators on the blog, while the anonymity meant that you could not verify anything with them. As it turned out the information was correct – and clearly leaked from somewhere – but the analysis viz ‘Rangers are cheats’ was wrong.

Rangers most certainly were cheats Mr. Wilson. Heidi Poon grasped this nettle early on and the final word on their cheating, as much as it must stick in your craw, was delivered by The Supreme Court. The Fat Lady was a La Scala Soprano.

The RTC blogger was awarded The Orwell Prize, which flies in the face of the editor of this tome’s assertion that he was discredited.

In a related aside I believe that I have identified RTC’s deep-throat. But I won’t be publishing his name for several reasons. First and foremost he would be a target for the Orange Order which is a sect for bigots, former paramilitaries and a mono-browed criminal underclass. He is also a source for our site, who prefers to fly under the radar. My fingers of one hand £20 per month contributors were promised insights on tidbits that I choose not to publish but on this occasion I will demur. The next question and Wilson’s response are instructive:

Q: Do you think the ownership story would have unfolded differently without the internet effect? For example would matters have happened so quickly or would we still be talking about Craig Whyte as the owner of Rangers?

A: There was an important and significant contribution from social media.

Unbeknown to many who are quick to bestow praise on their patron saint of blogging the individual who actually unmasked Craig Whyte as a charlatan was Andy Muirhead of Scotzine. Credit where credit is due.

Wilson argues that Craig Whyte did not have the wherewithal to make a fist of running Rangers. He fails to mention that Ally McCoist had an iron-clad succession contract with punitive penalty clauses that ensured that he would play his part in the fall of The House of Whyte.

“Follow We Will: The Fall and Rise of Rangers” consists of a number of essays by purportedly Real Rangers Men who adhere to the view that the supporters saved the club and that it continues to exist as an ethereal entity now operated by a new company (NewCo). These are not Bears that openly shit in the woods or the thoroughfares of Manchester. The contributors to this flawed tome form a self-styled illuminati which liberally expounds an alternative view that has no grounding in historical fact or the Companies Acts which govern all PLC’s. One of their number is the official biographer of Rangers and a professor at Queens University Belfast. Walter Smith provides a foreword. Lee Wallace comes out of hiding as a supergrass to add his tuppence worth. The Forty-Eight Hour Director – Je Suis Graham- also steps up with a number of joined up sentences which just do not add up. Perhaps one should revert to DCI Jim Robertson’s head for figures, not that I’m implying anything untoward apropos his pert assistant and her pneumatic lungs. Was Robertson too busy breaking down doors and pilfering privileged information to write his essay? He did Dave King proud in so many other ways.

As for the rise of Rangers Lite, would the optimistic view of five years ago still hold true today? Merry hell is breaking loose at the board who are on a collision course with the City Watchdog. A company crying out for investment has executives that no NOMAD would work with and no exchange will touch with a barge pole. The Chairman of their board has to pony up £11m or ultimately face a custodial sentence after one or more hard-hitting fines.

In 2006 when King was facing 322 charges and a tax liability north of £140m, he claimed he was penniless despite picking up £81,000 per month in interest payments from his offshore capital reserves.

Does King/NOAL have £11m in a British Virgin Islands Trust Fund? A back of the fag packet calculation suggests that he saved £64m of the £100m he earned from The Specialist Outsourcing scam, squandering the rest on toys and Rangers.

When SARS finally caught up with him they raised £30m from the sale of his assets, leaving King to pony up £14m or face 82 years in prison.

From the resulting £50m one must deduct his legal fees which I am reliably informed are circa £10m, but this is offset by the sale of MicroMega’s trading division.

£50m is not impecunious in anyone’s book, irrespective of his paper wealth apropos MicroMega.

But there is a sting in this tale. As part of the deal to keep King out of prison he was compelled to repatriate his considerable liquidity to South African banks, despite the fact that he is a pariah with the six major clearing banks.

NOAL has stealthily slipped a £6.7m loan under the radar, but a full-blown offer of £11m would take the total, with costs, to just north of £18m. Eighteen million that was not repatriated to South African banks. Furthermore as this must be a very public and publicised offer, it won’t escape the scrutiny of South Africa’s Crown Prosecuting Authority.

King is caught between the rock of hard time in South Africa and the hard place that is HMP Barlinie.

Don’t be surprised if King does walking away.





Jeux Sans Frontières

I have never hidden my admiration for Peter Gabriel. Genesis during his tenure in the band were one of the most innovative progressive rock bands of their time. They became a bland chart-chasing band after his departure. It was an odious sell-out. Gabriel as a solo artist did not shirk when he tackled the serious issues: Apartheid (Biko), Vivisection (Shock The Monkey) and Unemployment (Don’t Give Up).

His body of work includes Jeux Sans Frontières. Some of his lyrics are instructive:
William builds a bonfire, Eugene plays with it
It’s a knockout
If looks could kill, they probably will
In games without frontiers-war without tears

Dressing up in costumes, playing silly games
Hiding out in tree-tops shouting out rude names
Whistling tunes…

Fellow Gabriel fans will note that I substituted Adolf with William and Enrico with Eugene. Referring to one of the celebrants of Protestant Ascendancy as Adolf is akin to drawing comparisons to the ‘Up To Our Knees in Fenian Blood‘ male voice choir with a klan. The patron saint of blogging, Phil Macgiollabhain, was recently taken to task on the SFM for his use of this particular term. The underlying message from some eloquent commentators was that he was a part of the Sectarian problem; not its solution. He left the site in a fit of pique.

It’s not the first time that Mr. Macgiollabhain has been taken to task on his more strident perspectives. When some of his oeuvre was sent to the individuals behind ‘Show Racism The Red Card’ they moved quickly to distance themselves from the Donegal based blogger. His work includes ‘The Incubator’ which I have reproduced in full:


Professor Struth had waited a long time for this day.

“They laughed at me in the institute. Laughed at me. AT ME!!!!!”

Now it was time and soon the world would know their folly in underestimating his genius.

He had, ahem, acquired the sperm of a criminally insane murderer doing a life sentence.

His decision to use a ten thousand pound gorilla as mother was inspired.

Struth was convinced that these two were close enough to breed and he was correct.

Once impregnated it just sat in the corner and didn’t say much, but he was always aware of its presence.

He was betrayed by a colleague and the ethics council had rescinded his licence to work in the field of genetics.

And they said he was mad!


However, it wouldn’t have worked without the new type of incubator.

That was the key in all of this.

It was a cultural womb.

That was his breakthrough discovery.

Dodgy DNA just wasn’t going to make what he imagined.

The carefully selected genetics weren’t enough to fashion this creature.

His creature!

The music of Ulster flute bands was piped into the sealed unit.

He knew this could cause hearing damage, but it wasn’t in his plan that this creature would do much listening anyway.

Contained within this artificial womb he would nurture his baby Billy Boy.

Struth pumped in a unique food supply comprised of cheap lager and liquidised burgers.

Growth would be rapid due to the infusion of more steroids than in the Loyalist wings at Long Kesh.

It was important that no intellectual distraction or moral dilemma be allowed to contaminate the controlled environment.

The creature would come ready made with a series of responses that would appear inexplicable to ordinary humans.

The thing was shown images of Catholics Schools, Priests, Celtic, but most of all NEIL LENNON!

Each time an electric shock would be administered.

Concepts like tolerance, pluralism, and a benevolent curiosity in other people and other cultures would be anathema to this creation.

He knew his creature would be perfect.

This one was a prototype, but it could be programmed to hate any ethnic minority they just had to change the toxic mix in the incubator.

Soon he would have a modern production facility capable of churning out thousands of them.



Once cloned his beast could be exported to any regime that wanted to inflict chaos on a neighbour.

This was a truly horrible weapons system.

Sending several thousands of these hybrids into a city would paralyse it for days.

Suddenly and without warning policemen would be attacked for no discernible reason and normal riot control methods wouldn’t work.

Rubber bullets would simply be lost in the rolls of blubber.

The creature had been designed to have wrists so fat that they would be too thick for a regulation police handcuffs.

Even police dogs would contract diseases if they got their teeth into them.

The creature was also a platform for chemical warfare.

It had urine that was so toxic that when deployed in public places, like war memorials, it could spoil an entire city.

Struth had a contact in the Spanish interior ministry who wanted to stage a riot control exercise and use the system in Barcelona.

The professor was convinced that when it came to asymmetrical warfare his creature would have no equal.

The illiterate, drunken, urinating brain dead rioter would define urban combat in the 21st century.

In the age of the smart bomb his creature would now allow a commander to deploy weapons grade stupidity onto the modern battle space.

The thing had a microchip inserted into the back of its thick neck.

This meant that a rudimentary message could be sent at the same time to thousands of them

The communication could not be complex, but basic information could be processed.

This allowed many of them to be deployed using simple commands from one person of only average intelligence.

It was perfect!

The Hybrid Unique Networked System would make Struth famous.

Once this creature would be seen in action then the contracts and the orders would roll in.

It was now time, because if he left it in there any longer then the creature would be too big to get out of the incubator.

Using a block and tackle on the roof he pulled on the rope.

The plastic womb was tipped over, the bin bags were split open and sludge ran out all over the garage floor.

The huge creature was revealed to the world and it rolled out and rolled and rolled.

It was only stopped by the garage wall and it started to stumble to its feet.

Agility and grace was not part of the design specification of Struth’s creature.

The huge hulking abomination then stumbled towards the professor.

It opened its large mouth and the smell hit the scientist like a slap.

Struth stared and trembled slightly in awe of what he had created.

Finally it spoke:

“We are the people!”

Shock The Monkey comes to mind. A pedant could argue that the use of a number of exclamation marks does not add emphasis but other than this obvious flaw no-one could argue that it’s not well written.

Many of us have met a close relative to Professor Struth’s creation. Some of their ilk wish to assassinate your humble correspondent. That being said one would not add it as an appendix to one’s resume if one was applying for a position with an inclusive pluralistic charity such as Show Racism The Red Card.

I probably should not cut anyone any slack who described your most humble blogging servant as ‘Heroically in exile.’ There is nothing heroic about saving my parents lives. However in the interests of balance I should point out his work with Amnesty International apropos depression and his own struggles with this ailment. It was courageous. His detractors of whom there are many use his ailment against him. They dismiss him as ‘Ill Phil.’

Mr. Macgiollabhain and I concur on more topics than he would probably care to admit. There are those that suggest we work together for the greater good; that we pool resources to rail against Sectarianism. He was brought up not far from where I was raised. We have both borne first hand witness to the bigotry that has been inextricably woven into the cultural fabric of The West of Scotland.

It has been my long-held conviction that the bigotry at Ibrox, which I refer to as The Sectarian Speakeasy,  is so ubiquitous that it’s now an intrinsic part of the match-day experience:

Here’s your macaroon, spearmint chewing gum and Protestest Ascendancy.”

Those of a WATP mindset were once described as 90 minute bigots by one of their apologists; none other than ‘Papal Smoke Gets In Your Eyes‘ Donald Findlay. However the bigots who assailed Scott Sinclair at Glasgow Airport’s BA Lounge were not engaging in extra time. These individuals, many of whom are from the DUP, fly in for an opportunity to denigrate the Irish n****** ( tip of my hat to PMGB who coined the term) in the south of their divided island and those whose antecedents fled to the West Of Scotland as their very lives depended on it.

Ibrox is a citadel of Hatred. Sectarianism is its common currency.

When Rangers imploded in a financial cesspool of their own making, Charles Green fashioned their distressed assets into a new club and set out on a journey. Forty thousand individuals turned out as Rangers Lite played against teams followed by one man and a one-eyed dog. Were they attracted by the football or the opportunity to chant vile anti Irish/ Catholic epithets? I could make a compelling case for the latter.

So what if anything is being done about it? A piece by Chris McLaughlin of BBC Scotland – whom is banned at Ibrox for reporting the truth – cuts to the bone of the problem:

Scottish Football  accused of sweeping sectarianism under carpet.

Celtic and Rangers fans have been accused of sectarianism in the past
Scottish football is not doing enough to tackle sectarianism, according to some of those employed by the league to help identify it.

A number of current and former match delegates have told BBC Scotland of their dismay at reporting the problem only for no action to be taken.

“It was so frustrating,” said one.

“And I know that some of the delegates who are still working today are absolutely appalled that nothing has changed.”
The former delegate continued: “It seems like the Scottish Professional Football League is content to sweep the issue under the carpet.”

The SPFL says it condemns any incidents of unacceptable behaviour and works closely with the police and government in a bid to tackle the issue.

The complaints come as the Scottish Parliament prepares to repeal legislation set up to fight what was once described by a sitting First Minister as Scotland’s secret shame.

The SPFL employs delegates to help enforce league rules during matches and identifying sectarian singing is part of that brief.

But, under the current rules, if clubs can prove they have taken all reasonable steps to prevent such behaviour, they will escape any sanctions.
“We had numerous meetings with the police, who told us which songs to look out for, but it was pointless because when we reported them, nothing was ever done,” said the former match delegate.

BBC Scotland has also learned that delegates have reported at least four clubs to league bosses this season alone for fans singing offensive or sectarian songs.

MSP James Dornan has been a vocal supporter of the Offensive Behaviour at Football Act, which is expected to be repealed after a final debate in Holyrood.

He believes football’s governing bodies need to be held to account properly if things are going to change.

“I would like to say I’m shocked by this, but I’m not in the slightest,” he said. “The footballing authorities have proven that they are not willing to take it on.”

‘This is Scottish football’s dirty secret’

The Scottish Government has asked for the SPFL’s figures relating to sectarianism to be made public, but so far the league body has resisted.

“Secrecy is the way that they run their business,” said Dornan.

“I’ve seen them in action in committees in parliament and they seem to think we have no right to question them and they believe secrecy is the way to hold power.

“This is Scottish football’s dirty secret and it’s time Scottish football stepped up to the plate.”
A report last year suggested 81% of Scottish fans believed sectarianism is an issue for the game
In 2007, league bosses said they were getting tough on the issue and announced a sliding scale of sanctions, including financial penalties, point deductions or even closure of stadia.

Those sanctions are no longer in play and clubs have always resisted a European model of strict liability.

Under those rules, clubs are held accountable for all unacceptable conduct within their own stadium.

BBC Scotland asked the SPFL to answer specific questions regarding sectarianism and offensive behaviour, including a request for figures relating to this season.

The governing body declined but released a statement saying: “In January 2017, SPFL clubs voted to approve updated guidance that encourages clubs to develop proactive programmes and make progress towards raising awareness of the prevention and, where present, the elimination of unacceptable conduct in stadia in which matches take place.

“At the start of this season, following agreement with the Scottish Government, we started to collate and share information with both the Scottish Government and Police Scotland regarding incidents of unacceptable conduct at SPFL matches at regular intervals throughout the season.

“The SPFL condemns any incident of unacceptable conduct and our collaboration with the Scottish Government and Police Scotland demonstrates the SPFL’s ongoing efforts to work with key stakeholders and help Scottish football address effectively any instances of unacceptable conduct at SPFL matches identified and reported by SPFL match delegates and Police Scotland.”

Neil Doncaster, who has climbed the SFA’s greasy pole from his former position on the Professional Game Board to the corrupt cabal of eight who are entrusted with policing the game, does not need an MBa to know that the Ibrox brand of bigotry sells. Where else can you wade in Fenian blood and refer to Celtic supporters as ‘paedophile cunts‘ and get away with it? You cannot get away with it several miles away at Glasgow Airport so why is Ibrox immune?

Doncaster has always been an apologist for Continuation. His new appointment at the SFA, who bend over backwards to promote a strong Rangers (in any guise) is a marriage made in Five Way Heaven.

McLaughlin is sufficiently cute to include Celtic in his article, but apart from some idiot hanging an effigy in the Jock Stein Stand and some distasteful banners in the section of Celtic Park which formerly played host to The Green Brigade, incidents are few and far between. The occasional flashes of sectarian rhetoric are more often than not retaliatory. The allocation of a safe standing area dedicated to The Green Brigade was a smart move by the Celtic Board. When The Green Brigade step out of line, as they did with a green flare display at the last home game of another winning season, the board banned them and closed down their safe standing area for two home games.

This pro-active action will never be emulated at Ibrox. The recidivism is so widespread, the bigotry so deeply inculcated, that one would have to close the entire ground.

‘The War without tears’ at Ibrox is an easy sell for Doncaster. The blue pound currency of hatred is legal tender at the SFA and SPFL.




The Fit, The Proper & The Fraudulent

As is the case with all news from the SMSM it’s important to read between the lines and highlight the lies. Andy Coyle is the latest to ante up for STV with a slew of 5-way lies for our delectation. There was no Oldco operating RFC PLC. RFC PLC was renamed to convince the lame of brain that the ethereal entity RFC continues whereas its operator RFC 2012 Ltd is being liquidated. It’s simple to understand when you tell the truth.

After a poor start Coyle asserts that Alastair Johnston’s application for a place on the board of member club The Rangers has been put on hold until the Compliance Officer’s determinations are at an end.

Former Rangers Chairman Johnston and his executives, primarily Andrew Dickson, engaged in a fraud to facilitate his club’s path to participation in UEFA tournaments. Johnston’s club, which had an overdue payable of £2.8m owed to HMRC, was not eligible to participate in any UEFA tournament until the shortfall in its social taxes had been addressed. Johnston went on the record one day after the end of the initial March cut-off day to state that he had no idea how the £2.8m would be paid. This can was kicked down Edmiston Drive. It was never paid.

During Craig Whyte’s trial it was revealed that the Rangers board was fully aware of the overdue payable in November 2010. They knew full well that they were not eligible so they engaged in a fraud. Can one imagine the fallout from The People if their team’s application had been vetoed? They would have vented their fury at Sir Bribe & Lie. They would have had to be quick off their marks as Murray had one foot out of the door.

Now if you prefer you can read my analysis on another site, tied in a cryptic bow. 

You can choose not to donate to this site and deny this site your support. It’s evident that many would prefer it went under if their 16p per day does not give them unfettered access to premium articles. Some are paying as little as one pence per annum and demanding access. Spend a penny on PMGB’s site and be sure to make a comment three months after this site’s demise on how the end of his best go-to source has left him with less to say.

Rugger Bugger, an increasingly comic device, will indubitably provide his take and his supporters will be suitably dazzled. My entire blogging ‘career‘ has been dogged by others plagiarising my work. Andy Muirhead endured ten years of this artifice. Does one think that the rise of PMGB was a coincidence? Perhaps one should contact his alma mater which he purports is Trinity College and inquire whether he has a post graduate masters degree in journalism or actually engaged in media and publishing seminars provided by Cork Institute of Technology? I posit that if former social worker Mr. Macgiollabhain had successfully graduated on two occasions he would not hide his academic light under a bushel.

He writes better than I do, supports Celtic and is a zealous advocate of a united Ireland via the backdoor of Scottish independence. What’s not to like?

I digress. If Johnston and his executives are guilty of fraud, will Police Scotland do the right thing and arrest them? Will COPFS prosecute them?

Gaining a considerable pecuniary advantage through deception is a criminal offence, but as we now know the Economic Crime Unit at Police Scotland is a clusterfuck of an omnishambles. DCI Robertson and his pert assistant Jackie O’Neil left no stone unturned, no per diem unclaimed, and no ‘selfie’ opportunity with their board heroes missed as they travelled the world on a wild goose chase that was devised by Career Criminal King.

Where would one be without my exclusive that King procured Whyte’s hacked data base for £25,000 and created a conspiracy via leaked Tweets? A conspiracy that Robertson and O’Neil fell for hook line and sinker. Has no-one ever thought of charging King and his co-conspirators Paul Murray and James Traynor with perverting the course of justice and a slew of Telegraph & Communications Act transgressions?

Where would one be without my exclusive on David Whitehouse’s excoriating takedown of DCI Robertson and Jim Keegan, with the former singing The Billy Boys to intimidate witness and the latter taking silk while concealing a murky corporate past of being suspended as a company director for three years.

Where would one be without the actual minutes of the SPL meeting where the LNS recommendations were discussed.

Where would one be without my exclusive coverage of the Craig Whyte trial?

Where would one be without my exclusive that David Murray paid a $1m cash bribe to Lawrence Marlborough to secure his controlling interest in Rangers?

Where would one be without my sources?

So by all means drive this site under. Who needs this site when the narrative at PMGB’s site is better crafted and the customer service is superior. You will miss out on the exclusives but that’s a small price to pay to drive home your petulance for not receiving a password despite stepping up with 1p-16p per day.

David Whitehouse accompanied by David Grier was in the Court of Session yesterday. The former was pursuing a Summary Decree against Police Scotland. The proof hearing, scheduled for next week, has been postponed and is now slated for four days in May although this may be extended as both Police Scotland and The Lord Advocate will be in the dock.

If Whitehouse is successful Grier’s hearing at Glasgow Sheriff Court will be a slam dunk. Police Scotland and The Lord Advocate are being funded by the public purse.

Dave King created this omnishambles. But he could not have foreseen how incompetent Robertson would be and how duplicitous Jim Keegan would follow suit.

If a £16m bath is coming down the pike The Scottish Executive’s oversight of Police Scotland should be subjected to scrutiny.

The arrest and conviction of Johnston, Dickson et al should be the tip of an iceberg that sinks the hand in glove relationship between Police Scotland and COPFS and takes the captains of both down with their respective ships.












Mutiny On The Sevco Buses

The hype from Ibrox, crafted by Yuanker Traynor and articulated by the SMSM, had many neutrals and a significant number of Celtic fans forming a view that Rangers Lite would prevail on Sunday. When Simunovic was sent off by a bent DUP-facing assistant referee, I knew that the fix was in. Those who read my exclusive pieces that were gleaned from a Craig Whyte sales pitch are now aware that Lite have long known that they will be the beneficiaries of ‘honest mistakes.’ I fully expected a penalty from El Buffalo Morelos taking a dive. Having clutched his face in agony from the air current generated by Simunovic’s elbow, one fully expected his cheating to continue in the box.

El Buffalo is, not to put too fine a point on it, a Colombian village idiot who would have probably ended up being a drugs mule had he not been signed by Independiente Medellín. HJ Helsinki signed him, loaned him back to the vendor, and finally gave up on their 500,000 Euro investment when Caixinha came calling. They discovered early that Morelos has a poor first touch and a tendency to disappear in games where he is tested by a robust defence. The idea of Morelos playing in the EPL is as ridiculous as his much vaunted wholly fictitious move to the CSL with Beijing Renhe. How much does a village idiot cost in an inflated transfer market? The SMSM, reading from Yuanker’s script, peddled all the way to £12m before publishing the narrative that he was worth £15m in the close season and that Rangers Lite had shown ambition by retaining him. Are these so-called journalists congenitally stupid? Do they get by with one neuron more than their average reader? El Buffalo could have been purchased and loaned back as was the case with Celtic’s transfer business with St. Mirren.

The penny has finally dropped at the Penny Arcade. ‘The People‘ hurled more than abuse at Morelos when he raised his shaved idiot’s head above the parapet. In a bygone age he would have been pelted with rotten fruit. Fast forward to Sunday and the missiles included one pound coins and lighters, some of which drew blood. Three well-heeled ‘People‘ in the BA lounge decided to accost Sinclair and suggest that he was:

“A Black Fenian Bastard” and “A fucking taig cunt.” 

He was invited to have sex with himself. My source informs of the following colourful epithets:

“Go fuck yourself you black paedophile cunt.”

The air was so RRM blue that the police were called. The abusers were removed from their flight to Belfast and arrested. The desk sergeant, no stranger to a lusty rendition of The Billy Boys, empathised with their plight. A black Celtic player in a lounge that is the preserve of the DUP on match days is just not on, irrespective of whether he participated in the match or not, as was the case with Sinclair. Does he not know his place? Does he not know that the DUP are the people? The tail that wags the Tory dog take their Sectarian bigotry to a different paradigm.

Career Criminal King, who claims to be short of a bob or two, no longer ‘jets in.’ Did he take the bus from the Airport to Buchanan Street?  He was probably informed that Douglas Gordon Ross was on point and that it was Lite’s game to lose. Had El Buffalo scored from two yards out into an empty net, King would have partied like someone who had just successfully bribed the SARS number two, and the financial controller of Umgeni Water in the same day. Sadly the most excitement King had on the day was shaking himself dry in the Ibrox Executive lavatory in The Thornton Suite.

Graeme Murty looked in need of a blood transfusion in his post-match press conference. Had John Brown stuck his teeth in to him, or did Brown settle for a somewhat robust monologue? My source suggests the language used was RRM blue:

“Ten fucking men you useless cunt. “

Dear oh deary me. Not the kind of language to empower the interim first team coach.

But what did Brown expect from Murty’s rag tag bargain basement bag of loanees? Provident cheques can only stretch so far. A draw would have been the ideal result for King as he would not have had to shell out for win bonuses, while repeating the mantra that Lite now had parity with Celtic. King needed a CL place to have any chance of keeping the Messengers At Arms at bay. I’m sure there is no truth in the rumour that the latter are performing doughnuts in The Albion Road Car Park, with the necessary permissions from Close Asset Finance.

If I were The Magnificently Maned Adulterer I would ask King to stay away as when King turns up for a final against Hibs or a season defining encounter with Celtic, Lite invariably lose.

In the Life of Brian the oppressed Judeans ask what have the Romans ever done for us. The same challenge could be made of King.

Lite have summarily dismissed two managers. One of whom, Mark Warburton, was informed that they had accepted his letter of resignation. When he asked to see said letter, that he had no knowledge of, Stewart Robertson unsurprisingly demurred. The employment tribunal coming down the pike will be a busman’s holiday for King.

One can but hope that the wheels don’t come off the Sevco Sitcom in April at Hampden. A mutiny from a cold-shouldered board and disgruntled fans might bring the curtain down.









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The Good The Bad & The Bent

Prior to representing the Moray constituency in Westminster, Douglas Gordon Ross was a Conservative MSP and dairy farmer. His Tory party is in league with the DUP. Ross is married to a Police Officer.

A cynic might suggest that Ross’ judgement as an assistant referee could be coloured by his party’s alliance with Ulster politicians, many of whom were in attendance at Ibrox yesterday. Did he have one eye on his friends in the stand as he twice mouthed ‘Red Card‘ in his radio microphone. As it was a particularly one-eyed decision one would not have to colour me surprised.

One should also note that his frenzied use of his assistant’s flag would not have been out of place at the Union Bear’s march prior to the match. An illegal march where Police Scotland, being paid by Scottish tax payers, acted as stewards.

If a charge of currying favour with his DUP allies was not enough to flag concerns apropos his impartiality, his marriage to a serving officer of the bastion of Freemasonry that is Police Scotland should also be noted.

Simunovic’s dismissal was a travesty of all that is good in the beautiful game. His elbow may have been swung to get his body in pole position for the ball but it was not swung in anger. It did not connect with Morelos. One could argue that this game vignette played out to a script created by Ross and imparted to Murty’s charges prior to the second half. If this was the case they only had to wait 12 minutes for Ross’ telling intervention.

Morelos went down like a wounded buffalo, despite the elbow making no contact. Morelos is a cheat. My choice of buffalo is apposite. Bison meat sells at $13.50 per pound which is probably his intrinsic worth. The SMSM ejaculating myths of £12m bids for a feelgood Lite story should have a long hard look at themselves. Is Yuanker Traynor paying them in kind for this squirrel; a squirrel which deflected from the fact that the board were pawning the family silver?


Morelos’ haircut marks him out as not the sharpest mammal in the evolutionary food chain. He looks like a stupid punk entertaining tourists in the Harajuku prefecture of Tokyo. Ross’ bent interjection gave Morelos an opportunity to level the game from three yards. He missed the open goal and hit the post, allowing Celtic’s third choice keeper, on loan Bain, to smother the ball on the line and secure Celtic’s win and their seventh successive title. The Celtic fans celebrated by chanting ten-in-a-row. Is it just me or do others anticipate a preponderance of honest mistakes in next month’s Semi-Final?  If Ross gets the gig one will know that the fix is in.

However yesterday’s most corrupt decision was not made by an assistant referee. It was made by an individual with a minimum of three pips on his shoulder, or more probably a superintendent’s crown.

A decision was made not to kettle or disperse an illegal march.

A decision was made to use tax-payers money to pay police officers to act as stewards to this illegal march. Welcome to Scotland 2018 where red white and blue smoke bombs are ignited with impunity as thugs in paramilitary uniforms are provided with a police escort. Police Scotland are not upholding the law. They are subverting it.

Inciting hatred prior to a tinderbox game is clearly on the level as long as one swings the lead. Did Police Scotland join in with the renditions of The Billy Boys?  Why not just be open about a song that is sung by police in orange lodges and their state subsidised clubs?

The Billy Boys washed down with a cheaper lager, brought to you by the Scottish tax payer. Will the real Billy Boys please stand up.




Dear JJ : Union Bears

Dear JJ,

How the devil are you my old mucker. Still busking on your blog? Lady Bear has cooked up some Bakewell filth on her Aga for sustenance which will be with you presently. I trust my tuppence worth will provide your readers with a modern-day ‘Broons‘ experience. Ma Broon does not strike me as the most emancipated of women. Contraception seems to have passed her by. Lady Bear is the kind of strong woman that one should celebrate on Women’s Day. She’s a stormtrooper of a gal whose appeal is anathema to the Viagra salesmen of Big Pharma. As I write in my king size bed at our suite at The Balmoral I catch a glimpse of my beautiful Scottish bluebell slipping into something Secret and Victorian. There’s nothing like a promise to get the sap rising on this fine Sunday morning.

We travelled by first class carriage to The Athens of The North yesterday. Having been to Athens en route to Piraeus and our Cyclades idyll, I can but assume that this expression was coined when Athens was not the crumbling ruin that it is today. It would not be my first choice of twin towns. Bath would be much more apposite or Harrogate. We’re heading to Govan today which would be flattered if it were twinned with Fukushima.

I celebrate our wedding anniversary every June by renewing my lease on a box for Lady Bear and I to partake of a game that takes our fancy. Call me old-fashioned but I prefer Old Firm to Glasgow Derby, even though I know it’s a new club playing at my former club’s spiritual home. If they planted saplings on the hallowed turf I would still turn up to watch them grow so a new club is not too much of a stretch for me. We have founding father Charles Green to thank. If Fulham can have a statue of The King of Pop blowing Bubbles why not a statue to the King of Big Hands with a mug of builder’s brew on one finger?

Our chauffeur, former Ibrox favourite Mark Warburton, drove our Bentley up overnight. For a bit of fun we booked him into his old digs in Auchenhowie. One can but hope that they don’t superglue him to his lavatory as was the case during his previous tenure. Imagine the humiliation of being caught with your pants down and unable to flush away a bobbing Greyfriar’s Bobby that followed one out with the fire crew? He insists to this day that it was very cold in the bathroom, but I demur of  his limp excuse.

He texted me this morning to reassure us that he was on his way having snatched a a few hours in a bed which was bedecked by a Celtic FC duvet cover. He awoke prior to his alarm call at 6.07 which he assumed was a reference to CFC  going for 7 in-a-row, to the refrain of ‘It’s a grand old team‘ being blared through the TV. He switched the TV off but could not escape the soundtrack in the bathroom where a song venerating ‘Henrik Larsson’ rang out. It was followed by a remixing of an old classic:

Sunday morning, up with the lark
I think I’ll walk to Celtic Park
Hey hey hey, it’s a beautiful day

I’ve got the Bhoys waiting for me
And when I see them I know that I’ll say
Hey hey hey,  another treble today

When you scored, scored, scored it was so lovely

This is my my my beautiful day

When I said said said that I love you

Oh my my my it’s a beautiful day


The jolly craicsters were having a field day. Mark will be driving for us for the couple of years it takes him to complete his A-Z course and gain a black cab licence.  Lady Bear and I like to arrive early to avoid the ‘Nosebag Masons‘ who line up like crows in The Argyle Suite. Her antipathy to Ibrox legend John Brown, who can usually be found in a crumpled heap behind a Chesterfield after a skinful of malt, is in no small measure due to his insistence on calling her ‘hen’ and looking at her lasciviously when ordering a ‘totty‘ scone.

We also choose to avoid Alex EBT McLeish and Derek Johnstone. The latter always leaves five minutes before half time to have first dibs on the pies and bridies. Those he cannot eat are stuffed into his pockets for the drive home to Helensburgh. He is relatively easy to avoid in The Argyle Suite. All one has to do is move away from his wake of pastry flakes.

However our suitably serene early morning progress was brought to an abrupt halt by an illegal march by a group that we were later informed call themselves The Union Bears. There are so many Bears groups that one loses track. There are The Vanguard Bears, who paid the fines for the Recidivist Bears who attacked the celebrating Hibs fans at Ibrox. Then there are The Incontinent Bears who dropped their pants and made a deposit on the Queen’s Highway in Manchester. There is an even an Australian Bears group, The Sons of Strewth.

It reminds one of the different political factions in the Life of Brian. Not that levity and The Union Bears are in any way easy bedfellows. They are not in any way Huggy Bears. They were responsible for punching a female steward’s tooth out and then bombarding her with vile pejorative epithets when she complained. They also set about a retired gentleman who attempted to defend her.

Is ‘No country for old men, or women‘ The Union Bears mission statement? James Forrest  in his most recent blog opines about how Civic Scotland turns a blind eye to the sectarianism at Ibrox, but the following banner has caught the eye of at least one MSP:

James Dornan SNP

Hi @policescotland can you assure me you’re aware of this and will be at the KP Loudon Tavern to ensure it doesn’t go ahead? If this wasn’t meant to be threatening then why talk of ‘fenians’ and the request for ‘dark clothing’

This is an obvious incitement to hatred. As you know JJ there is not a sectarian bone in my body. I’m not in any way an exponent of Irish racism. These mindless thugs are not marching in my name. One can but hope for a robust police response.

Yours in Rangers,

Edward ‘Teddy’ Bear Esquire

‘The Chalfonts Home on The Range’

Chalfont St Giles


P.O. Box 1690


Dear Teddy,

As much as it’s great to hear from you and every schoolboys crush, Lady Bear, it saddens me to note that Scotland’s Shame has reared its ugly head yet again. A poster with images of  a green shirted fan being kicked reminds one of the 2016 Scottish Cup Final:

Yuanker’s assertion that the fans were defending their players was as hollow as his claims that Chinese clubs were pursuing Morelos. When The Morelos Myth was exposed as an elaborate lie, the enterprising BBC journalist who laid bare the lie was then badgered by Yuanker and the BBC Freemasonry hierarchy into issuing a grovelling apology or face disciplinary action.

Does Scotland’s shame want to incite a mounted police response today at Ibrox?

James Dornan, for drawing Police Scotland’s attention to this illegal march prior to a tinderbox fixture, has been inundated with abuse from the GIRFUY Bears. 

Hatred is common currency at Ibrox. Is it not high time the Lite board stopped cashing in on this hatred?