In the Scottish Championship St. Mirren are twelve points clear with four to play. Their promotion is a given. It looks like that one of either Ross County or Partick Thistle will be demoted, with the 11th placed club participating in the play-offs.
Prior to my discussion of the post-split run-in fixtures I note that Douglas Park has returned Lazarus-like from the dead to become the deputy chairman of the beleaguered Ibrox board. I recall casting a withering eye at his 5,000 shares in Hamilton FC (Park is the second largest shareholder after Edencrest) and his 6.14% holding in RIFC and highlighting a clear transgression of SFA rules. Did Park get a pass due to the technicality that he is not a shareholder in the member club TRFCL? It must be hard for the SFA to keep track of all three ‘Rangers’ entities including Rangers The Holy Spirit; the ethereal entity that is RFC. Do the SFA have an urn containing the ashes of The Gallant Pioneers with the inscription RFC, or do they carry around their bones in an homage to Saint Spyridon of Corfu? Anything to appease their very own Continuation Jihadists.
When I first drew attention to Park having two cards up his sleeve there were howls of protest that the estimable Mr. Park was unwell; with Chinese Whispers of the big C. But here he is larger than a warmed up life:
A cynic might suggest that he has come back to bolster season ticket sales. Others point to ‘succession planning’ due to King’s own health concerns and his concert-party Paso Doble. Succession planning where a 68 year old with a face reminiscent of Dead Sea Scrolls papyrus takes over from a 62 years old inveterate criminal. Should one accord Mr. Park some biblical gravitas? Could it be the prosaic fact that King does not want Johnston to succeed him?
Or could it be that King who promised to be more hands-on won’t make it to Hampden as there could be an outstanding warrant for his arrest? The TPE’s Section 955 petition on Tuesday seems to have been overlooked by all the ‘professional’ NUJ journalists. How remiss of them.
From my perspective Park’s elevation completes my Last of The Summer Wine triumvirate. Alastair Johnston will turn 70 in July. The bigwigs of the beleaguered board remind one of three addled old men trying to relive a childhood where former club Rangers existed. How we laugh at their antics as they lust after The Magnificently Maned Adulterer’s clairvoyant lover in the Louden Arms as she predicts which stall will next be free in the Ladies and uses her ESP to avoid a stall needing ten minutes.
I digress. As I turn my attention to the SPFL post split games, it’s evident that 1999 has loomed large in Rod Mackenzie’s spin drier aka The SPFL computer. With a girth which evokes gout envy in Yuanker Traynor he looks like he has been partying a la Prince since 1999. What has got his Nora Batty bloomers in a twist is the title decider where the mason in the black Dallas was hit by projectile coins and lighters. He soldiered on like a true third degree trooper to give Rangers a penalty for a dive in the box and reduce Celtic to eight men, thus guaranteeing a DOS/VSS powered Rangers the title. Dallas could not have been more bent if he had been bribed which would not surprise me with Sir Bribe & Lie at the Rangers helm. A contribution to the costs of replacing his double glazing would have been helpful. Dallas was and is a bigot’s bigot.
I’m not making excuses for the mindless morons who gave Dallas every incentive to put their noses out of joint but surely the events at Hampden in 2016 and Manchester in 2008 live longer in the memory?
Should Celtic win at Easter Road on Saturday 21st April, they will be champions. If they drop points and Rangers Lite rag-doll Hearts the following day, Celtic will become champions at Celtic Park on Sunday 29th April should they avoid defeat to Rangers Lite. I can envisage Celtic dropping points at Easter Road so one might yet get a second Glasgow Derby of consequence in the run-in.
Back-to back defeats might not augur well at the Ibrox sales office. Will all purchases be accompanied by a glass of the Last of the Summer Wine?