Gary Ralston – Traynor Lickspittle

When the Blackadder of the SFA, Stewart Regan, was in his pomp he agreed to have a sit-down meeting with Stewart Robertson and Ibrox’s head of security. Robertson and his minder wanted to head off any recriminations from the incursion of 200 Rangers thugs, primarily drawn from the criminal classes, at Hampden in 2016.

Gary Ralston broke the story. Regan initially denied its existence and when it was subsequently leaked that the prospective meeting was in his diary, Regan insinuated that his administrator had misconstrued his position. Squirming and twisting like a ‘good un‘ Regan finally settled on a narrative that a chat had been arranged but any discussion of the investigation into the bloody aftermath was not on the table. So why the inclusion of the Ibrox security supremo?

Regan’s vacillation was not well-received by Gary Ralston as it threatened to undermine his burgeoning relationship with the club, where in actual fact it threatened to undermine his relationship with the burgeoning James Traynor. Keith Jackson’s reportage of the Scottish Cup Final aftermath was so flawed that his credibility was stretched to breaking point. As we saw with The Bellshill Bounder it was not the first time that Traynor fed him a line. Jackson seems to a have drawn a line after one of his darkest hours, leaving Ralston to fall wanking to the floor in Traynor’s office in Auchenhowie.

Ralston, Traynor’s reportage catamite, has been briefed to disparage David Bates and his decision to sign a pre-contract agreement to join Hamburger SV in the close season. Bates was signed by Lite from Raith Rovers for a fee reputed to be £11,000. His current Tranfermarkt valuation is £225,000. Should Bates usurp Mulgrew in the national squad this value would escalate. There are those who believe that Rangers Lite are losing a prospect that could have netted them £10m in the overheated English Premiership. He has a much better chance of a fee of that quantum than the cocaine addled Morelos who was bought for £900,000 and is snorting his way to ignominy. Would the former Jim Farry sidekick, the bigot that is Sandy Bryson, describe Morelos with his drug habit as imperfect but eligible? One can understand why Lite were keen to get Pena and Morelos off their books, not that they have anything to worry about from the SFA’s drug-testing cloakroom which has all the efficacy of TV licence detection.

Matron Murty has described Bates as greedy. Murty asserts that Bates has chosen filthy lucre over football development at Auchenhowie. Just think of those world class breakfasts, the special ‘talcum powder’ from Colombia and the day-to-day bib & cone play with a bumped-up youth coach.

The Rangers Lite squad is valued at 20,800,000 Euros. The Hamburg Squad at 71,700,000 Euros (both from Transfermarkt). Bates is joining a better squad with a core of players valued at between £2.5m and £7m. Even if Hamburg are relegated Bates will be better off. King’s Lite have turned their noses up at paying Bates £7,500 per week, yet pay Pena more as part of his loan deal to blow his deviated septum all over a pair of Rangers Lite shorts.

Bates was often described by Ralston and other sports hacks at The Daily Record as a rising star and future Scotland captain. Lite could have had a player in the mould of Davie Weir or Virgil Van Dyke on their books but they have let him slip through their hands at Auchenhowie where the Penny Arcade has long been raided to feed the gas meter. Those world class breakfasts don’t cook themselves.

Going forward when one reads anything by Ralston picture Traynor with a hand up his kilt and quickly dismiss the black propaganda from the Auchenhowie Squatter. One wishes David Bates every success at Hamburg and a speedy recovery from his ligament injury. It should be noted that the world’s best sports orthopaedic surgeons can be found in Germany.

Bates will be in good hands. Lite will pick up a peppercorn development fee. Yet another King clusterfuck of an omnishambles. -now-football-blogging-awards


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5 thoughts on “Gary Ralston – Traynor Lickspittle”

  1. Another great article to add to your ongoing and consistent high-quality output. Where would we be without JJ’s incisive articles and outstanding sources, which lay bare the real truth in a way that no-one else does or is willing to do.

    I offer my great appreciation and ongoing support. I will continue to make regular donations as I have done for a while now. And with all due respect, I hope my fellow readers do the same, where and when they can. This site and the tireless work of it’s custodian have become priceless…if you value the real truth and and an accurate picture of what’s really going on.

    Kudos and keep up the fantastic work JJ.


  2. Yes, its unseemly from the mob to throw stones at the guy who after all is looking after himself rather than wait for the fan to be well and truly covered in the shit we have had to endure from Traynor and Ralston over the last few years. Of course Kingy will have had his tuppence worth of words of advice for the young guy applied and part of the offer was of course a pair of brown brogues and as many pie suppers as he could manage. Why would he leave?

  3. I note that DullBeforeDawn has been exercising his orphan neuron to have go at me on Ad Hominem ‘R’ Us, SFM. You don’t know me keyboard pussy but I’ll be happy to make your acquaintance. Come on to my site and I’ll arrange for your next meals to be taken via a straw! As for Trisidium and Big Pink FFS clean up your site and stop insomniac old windbags posting brass bands. You are becoming a joke.

  4. I’m heading to the airport for a 26 hour journey to Scotland. By the time I arrive the derby game will be over. Will the game be decided by the football quality or by the appalling bigoted referee. I fear the latter.

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