The crushing imminence of 10 in a row

The panic procurement of a managerial ingenue smacks of desperation. Notwithstanding the boost to season ticket sales that would have indubitably flagged had King not pulled this rabbit from his hat, there is nothing to suggest this will end well. In a discussion of Gerrard’s education as a coach on the English FA’s Pathway Programme Gerrard asserts that their Four Corners Model which looks at the four key areas of player development viz: technical/tactical; physical; psychological and social – as key to his coaching education so far.
I’ve learned an awful lot about the individual player and the four corners. I’ve also gained valuable coaching experience.”

What Gerrard failed to mention is that he’s so thick that he needed the support of a PFA tutor to gain his badges.

No matter how efficacious these courses are they cannot imbue any former player with man management skills. Alex Ferguson (what a relief that he received medical treatment so promptly) became a legend as a manager at Aberdeen and Manchester United, winning every club honour in world football despite the conspicuous absence of coaching badges. Late in his career Sir Alex participated in a coaching programme when UEFA made their pro licence a prerequisite. Mourinho gained his pro licence under the tutelage of Andy Roxburgh at Largs.

What both men have in spades is man management experience. They know when to put an arm around a player and when to throw hot tea at them as was the case in the Aberdeen dressing room when Strachan questioned Ferguson’s tactics. Both know when to sell a player and how to build teams around a core of players with a winning mentality.

Bottle will soon be making the lonely walk of a loser in Europe.

One can teach the basics of man management in the classroom but it’s the hands-on experience that counts. Gerrard has been dealing with kids to date. Kids who adore him. When he arrives at The Auchenhowie Safari Park he will be faced with  a different kind of animal. Senior pros who know that he does not have the first clue on how to get a tune out of them. Caixinha and Murty did not impress the ‘WhatsApp‘ group. The former was dismissed and denigrated with the pejorative epithet of ‘fuck off‘. Gerrard will impress even less, particularly when they twig that his ‘bottle’ nickname is well earned.

Alex Ferguson would not let any player win an argument, even if he was in the wrong. Players smarter than him were quickly put in their place. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Prepotency may be all the rage with the FA but this won’t cut the mustard at Auchenhowie. Ferguson and Walter Smith put the fear of god into their players and fourth officials, for good measure, with tonsillar invective. Bottle’s soft Scouse tones will be lost in translation.

My Auchenhowie mole has been in touch to confirm my exclusive that someone in the Lite supply chain is paying for the Gerrard experiment. It’s the kind of kickback that harks back to the days of Sir Bribe & Lie, where every supplier either had to co-opt him on their board or pay him a handsome tribute.

It was racketeering in the raw, deftly overlooked by Murray’s placemen at the SFA.

The news that Lite, which as King asserted is running at a loss by design, gained a UEFA licence was inordinately surprising. The beleaguered board have no intention or the wherewithal to break even so how can they possibly be FFP compliant? Was Andrew Dickson on the SFA’s licence committee again? One gets the distinct impression that the odious corrupt cabal at Hampden will do anything in their power to create a strong, competitive ‘The Rangers.’

We are still awaiting Tony McGlennan’s report on the high jinks in 2011 from a club where cheating had become the norm. As Hugh Adam asserted in 2002 they knew that they were cheating but carried on regardless. The SFA were in their pocket and  the senior officers at Strathclyde police were jockeying for the security gig when they retired. Is McGlennan going to throw the book at King, Johnston and Dickson or toss a loafer into the team bath so that they can lather up their next lies?

It would appear that even when the cheating is established, the Establishment club is immune from punishment. Scottish football governance is akin to South Africa during apartheid. Those of the ruling classes were never brought to book.

Gerrard’s much needed excision of the dross at The Auchenhowie Safari Park will make Hercules’ travails at The Augean Stables seem routine. I venture that every player on Lite’s books would not be good enough to earn a place in any Liverpool Academy team at any age group. I wonder what Bottle will think of Pena and Morelos, the coke snorting Beavis and Butthead of the Lite team?  One would like to think that cocaine, which can be delivered faster than a pizza in Glasgow, is not undermining their performance. Gascoigne swore by it as a pick me up after a night on the tiles. Then as now the SFA’s drug testing is as effective as a three-legged greyhound at Catford. I chose Catford Stadium as it closed down in 2003, as did all Scottish football governance when EBT’s were being mass produced.

The SFA’s collusion with Ibrox is the most unedifying aspect of Scottish football. As Rangers broke every rule in the book the SPL set up the LNS commission to exonerate them. A £250,000 fine for fifteen bent titles. At £16,666 per trophy it was money well spent. The stench of Apartheid lingers to this day.

Any way you slice and dice it Lite should not be participating in Europe. The only saving grace is that the dross’ Progres will be limited.

Note to Gerrard: Should it all go Pete Tong on your first foray into Europe as a manager don’t remonstrate with supporters from the shrubbery. Just remember that your appointment is predicated on the crushing imminence of ten-in-a-row. Europe is a sideshow. Ten-in-a-row will see the house of cards collapse, should the Sevco project last this long. Note the use of house Bottle, not deck as per your intellectually challenged leader.







14 thoughts on “The crushing imminence of 10 in a row”

  1. So,the not so shocking news is the SFA are happy to go along with any old kheich from Castle Grey Skull, the takeover panel are giving the green light to any chancers that there are no sanctions for ignoring their rules and shareholders cash can be siphoned off with impunity.

    Good times for the scumbags of this world.

  2. Jj, Maslow also has a hierarchy of needs although he doesn’t specify 30millon quid a year for 5 years😀.

    I am troubled by one thing in all of lites travails, I don’t don’t for a second your contacts and your articulated writing and grammar but every time when I think ” it has to hit the fan now” sevco seems to raise souffle like, a case in point being UEFA are we now at a point where like FIFA that nothing short of an criminal investigation into UEFA and SFA will suffice for the fans of football?
    It beggers belief that sevco and the Limpopo liar have gotten this far without collusion of the establishment in Edinburgh and SFA there must be enough waft to warrant an investigation surely?

    I may have been away from Scotland for some time but I can smell the waft here in Australia or is that the A LEAGUE and Aussie “soccer” I smell??
    That’s for another day methinks ,at least the roos are going to Russia having qualified AGAIN.
    Jj, your blog is the best on sevco and I saw one u wrote re the McCann’s, this is good writing and more is wanted.
    So, just how does one throw a sling your way.

  3. Excellent article as usual
    You have the corrupt cabal of Scottish Football Establishment and the Establishment club bang to rights as always.
    Everything must always be viewed through the prism that is Scottish Football which operates as nowhere else. No one would be permitted, even in the deepest darkest Banana Republic, to get away with what SIR Bribe and Lie got away with for decades, all easily facilitated with his crony’s in the Bank of Scotland.
    CCK together with his corrupt concert party pals and like Murray, Green and Whyte before him sees a clear path to ill gotten gains playing to a gullible bigoted demographic assisted by a compliant Laptop Loyal and a corrupt governing body. That cabal will allow him free reign and running slipshod over any rules and regulations. I just think he may have arrived at the station to see the gravy train disappearing round the corner in the distance
    The recruitment of an RFC Henrik Larrson ( great player, boring as hell cardboard personality and really crap coach) is a masterstroke. STs sales will erupt but Bottle will slip away with a whimper in the autumn. Macca will be the successor and in the meantime can translate the scousers unintelligible drawl and be this years dressing room RRM a la Red Hand but there is no beginning to his coaching prowess or managerial ability either.
    This ends, the only question is when. I expect before Santa comes…

  4. Bottled it when Liverpool should have won the league… but like his management career at ibrokes he fell on his erse

  5. Anyone of a Liverpool persuasion will be fully aware of how things could have panned out for Steven Gerrard. He did indeed impress from a young age and Sir Alex Ferguson feared he could place Liverpool back on their so called perch. Things could have been different. Under Houllier he was going in the wrong direction. Young; he lacked positional sense and felt the need to be all over the park. Off the park the early trappings and pitfalls of elevated status were taking hold. It wasn’t until Rafa Benitez took charge Gerrard started to realise his potential and what was needed to kick on. Benitez put him out wide, then as an attacking midfielder. Rafa could see he lacked game intelligence. Having Hamann, later Mascherano and Alonso gave him that platform to attaxk and released him from responsibility of defending. The whole Gerrard managing Liverpool is nothing more than a pipe dream. If he does his reputation will end up tarnished just like the last man to leave a team called Rangers for Liverpool

    1. Yes at last a reasonable assessment of Gerard by LiL Chris rather than the puerile nonsense. What you are forgetting is that Gerard was club captain for a decade and he is certainly no wilting flower … if rangers players think they can tell him to “fuck off” they will be dreaming of having Jock Wallace back in charge.

  6. Sandra Bryson PA to stew departed when asked if she had met her new boss the reply was no but I saw him in honest mistakes office last week when he came in and got a jag !!!

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