The Secret Diary of Pedro Caixinha

I’m up with the larks for the 6 a.m. mass at Bearsden convent. The kids are literally climbing the walls of our suite at The Premier Inn. José is trying to fit his twin brother Mosè into the trouser press. They are driving me potty; which reminds me to check on Doo Doo at training after I rinse their pink receptacles in the toilet. The baby, Henrik, whom I called after my hoops hero, has not stopped crying since his baptism. I realise that The Lisbon Lions Mobiles are becoming a bit stale but chin up young prince called after the King of Kings.

Henrik Larsson, Henrik Larsson, Henrik Larsson is the King of Kings.”

As I am dressing in the dark I mistakenly pull on my Celtic replica shirt. I don’t realise it until I turn up at training. Shop steward Lee Wallace is the first to clear his throat. I check to see if my Spanish Fly is undone. All present and correct, or as my English tutor has suggested: spectacles, testicles, wallet. The club are desperate for me to stop blessing myself and would prefer that I revert to this aide-memoire.

I thought of sending one of the kids, young Billy Gimour, round to the Glasgow Airport Shop to pick up a 32 Teds shirt, but I was told that it had closed down as  Dave King was pilfering stock left, right, and centre. Young Billy has apparently been sold but if truth be told I cannot tell one Billy from the next. Is everyone in Glasgow called Billy? Where is their sense of imagination? Their running with the bulls spirit? Which reminds me that I must get my haemorrhoids attended to after a touching cloth incident at Pamplona.

Training is becoming a bilingual nightmare. The Scottish lads are having difficulty mastering:

Arrumar o fuckwit do parque” which translates to hoof it up the park fuckwit. And here was me naively trying to introduce a passing game. John Brown came by to wish us good luck. With his thinning red hair and buffed brown brogues he reminded of the time young José discovered the Swan Vestas and presented young Mosè with a potty of poo with a match stuck firmly in the mire.

As he caught site of my Celtic top I could hear him mutter ‘fucking taig’ under his breath which I am assured is effectively a term of affection compared to some of the more robust rhetoric in the Brown lexicon. I must remember not to bless myself when Brown is galvanising the troops: Spectacles, testicles, wallet

I must admit my surprise that Campbell Ogilvie did not manage to squeeze out a few more UEFA coefficient points to spare our blushes. The People, as in WATP, (Nós somos as pessoas) will not be pleased to discover that UEFA consider us to be a new club formed from a confection of assets. There goes our history of bribes, blackmail, tax evasion, dual contracts and unparalleled domestic success. I have a mind to call the ASA for a continuation fix.

After a hard day at Auchenhowie and an evening Novena at St. Aloysius, I used my Iphone app to summon a black cab, which promptly arrived emblazoned with ‘Uber Hail Hail’ livery. It must be a Glasgow thing. The Spanish Butcher was rocking. I ordered a Cervejas and quickly chased it down with a Super Bock.  I noticed that The Bellshill Bounder, Craig Whyte, was holding court with some suits. I overheard talk of a floating charge being given paramountcy. If I were not mistaken he sounded as if he knew what he was talking about. Could another Exocet be heading to Ibrox?

Note to self. Cancel the call to the ASA. Being a new club has its privileges. Time to get back to The Trouble & Strife for some I should Coco. I’m really getting the hang of the lingo. If only my wife knew a different way of dancing when we are getting jiggy jiggy. I’m pretty sure the Samba was not what the Catholic Chutch had in mind when they introduced the rhythm method. If we have any more kids we might have to live in a shoe, preferably a brown brogue.

Nós somos as pessoas!

The JJ Files: Volume I

On 29 September 2015 I published the piece that follows this introduction. Note how I was ahead of the curve in identifying that the Coup d’état at Rangers Lite was executed by a cabal of carpetbaggers acting in concert. The Takeover Panel of Mergers & Acquisitions will not rest until career criminal King makes an offer for the shares that are not within his gift, or he is suspended from holding any executive office in the U.K. for the maximum period of 15 years.

 

As much as I welcomed Mr Winnifrith’s podcast, I must take issue with any suggestion that Dave King has received any approval or endorsement from The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA). The facts of the matter are that a series of complaints on King’s manipulation of the share price of RIFC, that were submitted in October 2014, were not upheld for further review. However there are other complaints made in January to the FCA. These complaints were made when the share price was at an all time low of 18p on 31/12/14 which led to their acquisition by King’s concert party soon after.

There are therefore two complaints that have yet to be determined by the FCA:

1.Did King and his concert party breach the 30% ownership threshold?

2. Did King manipulate the share price prior to their acquisition?

I have personally written to the FCA urging them to take another look at King’s share manipulion

King has ‘previous’ in share manipulation and in surreptitiously breaching the 30% threshold so as to renege on his obligations to make an offer for all remaining shares, as per the regulations of The Johannesburg Stock Exchange (and The London Stock Exchange Alternative Investment Market). Shares held in his daughter’s name suddenly breached the 30% threshold and proceeded to a 76% holding as a consequence of an acquisition on her behalf  by an ‘anonymous’ third party. Everyone knew that this was the handiwork of Dave King. Ian Gregory Morris, in his capacity as MMI chairman, failed to answer questions on this obvious breach of the JSE rules and regulations. Morris bluffed and blustered on King’s artifice, then quickly reverted to type with a slew of fanciful bullet points about growth and profits, accompanied by a one line statement that no dividends would be paid.

Those who have paid attention to Paul Murray’s statements would have noted his intention to raise capital via ISDX. I agree with Winnifrith’s analysis that a figure north of £15m was the target. I also concur that there is no possibility of any listing when the ownership of assets is in dispute.

I disagree with Winnifrith’s assertion that ownership issues will be resolved by the end of 2016. I have no problem with his assertion that the assets could revert to BDO.

Which leads me to the obvious question. What is the Plan B of the shyster board? Winnifrith calculated that they would require at least £15m to balance the books, maintain Ibrox and provide £1m for players for next season in the Scottish Premiership. King has referred to soft loans, but no-one in his concert party has access to this kind of funding.

Mr Winnifrith reviewed austerity measures such as selling players and closing down the training facilities/academy at Auchenhowie.

The former would be a problem as 10 members in the squad can agree a pre-contract with other clubs in January, with no fee. As for the £665,000 in four acquisitions, only Tavernier and possibly Waghorn would have resale value, but not enough to make any appreciable difference. In my opinion Mr Warburton would vigorously oppose any attempt to sell either player in January or the 2016 close season.

The latter makes fiscal sense. With the ownership of this prized asset in dispute would it not be better to use it now as one may not be able to do so in the future?

In a matter of months the ramifications of King’s lies will hit home. A decision will have to be made on the £4.5m in loans that are due in December. There is no possibility of repaying them. The improved match-day income, ST and ticket sales should sustain operations until January. Getting by from one match day to the next in 2016 will not be tenable.

The AGM in December should be instructive. King will fly in at great expense to candy-coat the austerity.

Meanwhile Level 5 will issue positive spin to soften the media impact.

Paul Murray had a seven year plan of organic growth and CL participation by 2022. Will he now review his plan and increase the timeline to a minimum of a decade?

Terminate With Extreme Prejudice

For those of my readers that are unfamiliar with my circumstances this piece should be instructive. A police source has informed me that at least three UDA members are party to a plot to assassinate your humble correspondent with prejudice.  Apparently this involves all three discharging all six bullets from their revolvers. Alternatively should I appear on a flight manifest on an incoming flight to Glasgow I will be identified by staff and shot dead as I exit the airport.

Should I ever return to my home town the crew from Ayrshire will be informed and mobilised. If I were attending a funeral I would still be fair game.

When one of my children went online to source material for a Father’s Day e-card she was redirected to a site where what is purported to being her father is wearing a gimp mask. She is only eight years old. I have been informed that she is a whore who deserves to die of cervical cancer.

Trust me. You have no idea what I have to deal with!

Padlocks at John James

Dear Readers,

I had an article in production in regard to “Glasgow Rangers” being given Scotland’s UEFA coefficient proving incontrovertibly that Lite are a new club. Are you paying attention Neil Continuation Doncaster?

I also planned to touch on how the quantum for Celtic’s acquisition of Jonny Hayes, £1.3m, far outstrips the combined quantum paid by Caixinha for his Gypsey Kings.

I was planning to contend that a reverse to Ashley could be the death knell of The Rangers Football Club Ltd which has the formal relationship with Sports Direct Retail. I would argue that the threat of a £5m quantum was the real reason the serial adulterer stepped down as Chairman from TRFCL.

However of more import is the SNP backlash at our site. My open letter to Stewart Regan was critically acclaimed. I had over 100 likes on Twitter and at last count 57 retweets. I will remove Harry’s Game and leave the open letter for posterity. So chapeau to the SNP. Three death squads could not silence me but a complete absence of donations today and only two yesterday is calling time on our site. I trust you’re pleased with your handiwork?

I have now consigned 800 posts to trash. However I will retain ten articles that I believe are indicative of my work. These will be edited and reproduced under a series with a working title of JJ Gold. I will publish one article on each of Monday to Friday for a period of two weeks. I will revisit Ched Evans, The McCanns, Organ Harvesting in China and Killing Aborigines for Kicks. I will select six of the best which feature exclusives on the Rangers & SFA omnishambles.

I have always been the humble servant of my readers.

My readers have withdrawn their support.

John James

An Open Letter To Stewart Regan

In the last 24 hours I have written to SFA Chief Executive Stewart Regan with a request for his comments regarding some significant incidents in Scottish Football in the last few months. I do not expect a response from Mr Regan.
I am also alarmed by the comments in the media by SFA President Alan McRae. The roles of both Regan and McRae should mean they are impartial at all times, it would appear that doesn’t sit well with where his football allegiances lie, the look on his face when Scott Brown lifted the Scottish Cup said more than 1,000 words.
Below is a copy of the letter sent:

Mr Regan
I promised myself I wouldn’t write to you again, because my time and energy are more important to me than your opinions, even if you had the guts and the courtesy to reply. But I find that your silence for several months was quite strange in as far as there were several incidents in Scottish Football which I believe merited comment from a person in your position.


But you only ended your silence to make comments on the trial of Craig Whyte in the High Court. I found that strange as Mr Whyte no longer holds a position in any football team in Scotland, even one that is only five years old.
I might be wrong here but I believe Mr Whyte was acquitted of all charges and free to leave the court of his own free will. But you decided that he had some case to answer by claiming that he was no longer welcome in Scottish Football, I wonder if you could enlighten me on what grounds that is the case, bearing in mind that Dave King is welcome.


There has been as I said previously a couple of incidents in Scottish Football that deserved comment from the SFA Chief Executive. For whatever reason you have kept your council (sic) on these incidents, but I believe that genuine football supporters would agree with me in thinking that it is part of your remit to make comment when the situation is important enough.
Let me take through a couple of those incidents, not in any particular order.

 

First of all when my team Celtic played at Ibrox stadium on April 29th, our Club Captain Scott Brown was confronted on the field of play by a supporter of Rangers, I use the term supporter loosely. At the time of the incident the response from the Police/Security was at best lax, and at worst pathetic. I would have thought such a serious incident would have merited comment, but all we got from you was silence.


At the same match there was another incident which if anything was even more serious. After Scott Sinclair scored for Celtic he was celebrating with his team mates when he was subjected to the most obscene Racist abuse, by more than one supporter of Rangers, and again I use the term supporter loosely. Again the silence from you and the rest of the SFA was deafening.


During that match, and in fact at every match we have played against Rangers we have been subjected to almost non-stop Sectarian singing, and while I would not contend that our support is perfect, they are certainly not Sectarian. I have met with Police Scotland on several occasions this season, they have for the most part been very complimentary in regards to the Celtic Support and their behaviour.


Another question which is being asked by football supporters of all clubs is in regards to the criteria which must be met to be awarded a European spot by the SFA for season 2017/18. Do all the clubs in Scotland which have been awarded a place meet the criteria?


I also note with interest this morning in the media, your colleague (should that be Brother?) SFA President Alan McRae state that it would be a “very boring and dreary” season in Scottish Football if our Invincible Treble Winners aren’t challenged. McRae doesn’t want just any team to challenge, he just wants it to be Rangers who are doing the challenging. I’m sure his predecessor will be proud of him.


This is coming from a guy who has contributed absolutely nothing to Scottish Football, except at Amateur or Highland League level, the guy like you has been an embarrassment to Scottish Football, and those in power at UEFA must wonder how you both got into your high level positions.


Finally Mr Regan, I would like to ask you if you have changed your position on the questions sent to you by the group of Celtic Supporter Shareholders known as “Resolution 12”. Although I never followed the Craig Whyte trial very closely, I read enough to suggest that contrary to what you claimed, the Tax Liability had Crystallised and therefore a European Licence should not have been issued to Rangers.


That means without a shadow of a doubt one or more people were telling lies, the question is Mr Regan were you one of them? I don’t expect you to answer that, but I thought I would ask the question anyway. There is also the case of the DOS/EBT with side letters schemes ran by Rangers, was the full truth put before Lord Nimmo Smith? Again were one or more people telling lies?


That only leaves me to reiterate the position of the Celtic Supporters Association. After the six blind officials match at Hampden our members passed unanimously a “Vote of No Confidence” in you, I think you can safely add your colleague Mr McRae to that now. I also think it is time that you actually asked the supporters of all the member clubs in Scotland if they have any confidence in you to take Scottish Football forward. I would safely predict that UKIP would be more popular than you. For the benefit of Scottish Football please go now.”


Joe O’Rourke,
General Secretary,
Celtic Supporters Association,
Independent Shareholder in Celtic Football Club.

Regular readers will recall that I planned to take Regan to task had the national team failed to qualify for the World Cup finals yet again; stretching their absence to two decades. Two sublime free kicks by Leigh Griffiths provided Regan with a stay of execution. Mr O’Rourke thought otherwise.

Alan McRae is an embarrassment to Scottish football. How many years does one have to spend listening to tedious presentations by fellow SFA officers to be elected to the highest office? Does a background at Cove Rangers prepare one for the challenges of the top tier of Scottish football?

McRae is a jobsworth who has played the ‘nodding dog’ to a succession of other jobsworths, including the incorrigibly corrupt Campbell Ogilvie.

How far will McRae go to achieve his objective of a strong Rangers to challenge Celtic? Will he instruct John Fleming to promote and demote referees on their ability to advance Rangers Lite and undermine Celtic?

Is McRae prepared to subvert FFP regulations to allow a financially doped club to participate in UEFA tournaments? Given the precedent of Porto’s fine one anticipates a fine being levied on Rangers Lite at this time next year. Does it not embarrass you Mr McRae to allow a club that you so openly support to drag their fiduciary recklessness into a UEFA arena?

Rangers went bust due in large part to a lack of governance by the SFA. As you have been an SFA council member since 1993 you have sat on your hands as the club you support engaged in tax evasion and cheating on a scale tantamount to match fixing. Did you raise an inquiring eyebrow when Hugh Adam unequivocally stated that Rangers were cheating? Of course not Mr McRae as you would not have climbed the greasy pole in twenty-two years if you had exhibited a scintilla of integrity. This is a quality that has not been present in SFA council members for generations.

It’s apparent to me and many others that you are fixing the draw of the Scottish Cup to favour Rangers with home draws all the way to the semi-final. We are not fooled by Rod Stewart being invited to engage in a draw in the early rounds. When it comes to the business end of this competition, your competition Mr McRae, Rangers Lite are invariably drawn at home. On occasions when they might not progress on merit you can rely on bent referee John Beaton to subvert the game in their favour.

How far will you  go to advance the cause of your team Mr McRae?

In your capacity as President of the SFA you had the honour of presenting the Scottish Cup to the winning Celtic captain. Why was this simple duty a chore? Why did you balk at presenting the Cup to a player that you so openly despise? You have done well keeping your head down for twenty-two long years as when you lift it above the parapet you are exposed as a bumbling fool.

As for Stewart Regan he has been exposed in a blatant lie. Given his attempt to cover his arse in an e-mail to Ali Russel and Andrew Dickson he is fully aware of this lie. The DOS/VSS tax debt crystallised at the beginning of March, 2011. To state that it had not crystallised at the March and June cut-off dates is a lie. Stewart Regan lied to assist Rangers as he concurs with McRae’s view that a strong Rangers is good for Scottish football. His lies were to the detriment of other clubs who paid their social taxes.

However let’s not hang Regan for a lamb when we have the sheep of his involvement in the LNS fiasco. Could someone explain to me why the Chief Executive of the appellate body, the SFA, saw fit to impose himself on a supervisory committee apropos a Scottish Premier League inquiry? If Nimmo Smith – Lord is just an honorary title – had come to the rightful conclusion that Rangers had gained an illegal competitive advantage would Regan have buried it? What part did Regan play in limiting the scope of the LNS inquiry to exclude the illegal tax evasion of the DOS/VSS scheme? Why was the compromised Campbell Ogilvie allowed to lead testimony for Rangers to save his own neck? Why was Sandy Bryson allowed to fudge a binary issue with the preposterous ‘imperfectly registered but eligible.’

Why was Andrew Dickson who submitted Craig Whyte’s application to be a football director not censured by the SFA? It is common knowledge that Dickson did not disclose that Whyte had been previously disqualified as a company director for seven years. Dickson had full access to the Titon report.

In his role as an experienced administrator regarding club licencing what part did Dickson play in advising RFC Finance Director Ken Olverman how to report the status of the DOS/VSS bill to UEFA given that Dickson knew that it was an overdue payable that had crystallised in March?

Why was Mr Dickson not censured for knowingly withholding the side letters detailing EBT payment to players, managers and directors from the SFA and SPL? Did he fail to mention his own EBT of £33,000?

Could Mr Regan explain why the central figure in the EBT tax evasion of Rangers was elected to the SFA congress in 2015?

Why was Rod McKenzie of Harper Macleod solicitors also appointed to the SFA congress in 2015? Was this his recompense for only looking under the rocks that the SFA had deemed ‘appropriate’ for the LNS commission?

As the ultimate arbiters of the Scottish game why do the SFA allow the SPFL to engage in the lie of Continuation? Does it not behove the SFA to contact Neil Doncaster to take him to task on his transposition of historic titles to a new club formed in 2012?  The SFA know that Rangers Lite are a new club as they initially issued them with a conditional licence.

As for Regan stating that Whyte was still banned from Scottish football did he think that Whyte gave a flying fuck about his perspective? To suggest that the SFA handled the Rangers implosion with the utmost probity and without fear or favour is the rhetoric of the revisionist.

Scottish Football does not need a strong Rangers. It needs a strong SFA.

 

Imagine There’s No Rangers

During what became know as ‘The Journey‘ did anyone other than those who attend Ibrox via muscle-memory actually miss Rangers?

1. Did one miss the mass unfettered anti-Irish racism?

2. Did one miss the veneration of a Ku Klux Klan leader who successfully pursued an agenda of slashing and maiming Irish émigrés?

3. Did one miss those who mock a potato famine and invite the Pope to have sexual congress with himself?

4. Did one miss the naked apartheid that is Monkey Mimicry?

5. Did one miss the challenge of Scott Brown on the field of play by an individual who exposed himself to an eleven years old girl as she walked down the street with her mother?

6. Did one miss the anti-Irish festival that is Forces Day?

7. Did one miss the lie that a renascent club can claim the titles won by a club that no longer exists. 

8. Did one miss how a club in clear breach of FFP regulations is given a green light to participate in UEFA tournaments by a corrupt SFA?

Point 8 is a reprise of the corruption which occurred with the former club which played at Ibrox in 2011. Are the aforementioned points the symptoms of a deep-rooted Sectarian malaise at the former club that now find an outlet for their recidivism in Charles Green’s basket of assets, Rangers Lite?

Could one change the song from :

‘No-one likes us, we don’t care‘  to:

‘No-one cares about us as we are largely irrelevant and beneath their contempt’?

Should we be rallying round the new club and hugging ‘bears’ in the street? Forgive me if I for one demur, although many of my best friends and family members are Rangers fans whom I would not hesitate to hug. The perceived wisdom is that the majority of Rangers fans are decent God-fearing family men, but if that is the case why do they transform into what Donald Findlay referred to as ’90 minute bigots‘.

Mr. Findlay is now engaging in lifting the rocks on the Ibrox cesspool. One now finds that The Rangers Juggernaut that cut a swathe through Scottish Football was actually a debt-addled junkie on skid row. The methadone was supplied by an odious cabal of Masons at The Bank of Scotland. If anyone has any savings in this Rangers-facing casino, in all its guises, I suggest they withdraw them immediately. Starve the bastards who provided the armaments to assassinate fair play in Scottish Football.

The debt-addled junkie may have visited the Salvation Army and be born again, but I’m not anticipating any Christian fellowship any time soon.

Is Rangers Lite a club run by pariahs for pariahs?

There are those who excuse the systemic criminal behaviour by stating that Rangers Lite merely reflects the social mores of the community it represents. I disagree. Rangers Lite fans the flames and reinforces the recidivist attitudes.

I note that Alex Thomson of Channel Four has been tipped off that the SFA won’t act to strip titles should The Supreme Court uphold the Inner Houses’ ruling that EBT were instruments of tax evasion. If that is the case a root and branch clear out of the SFA is required. At the very least starve the SFA of funds by not supporting the fiasco that is our National team. Let the mendacious piece of shit that is Stewart Regan and Continuation Doncaster know that their days are numbered at The Scottish Cup Final.

I am a late convert to the case for title-stripping. I took the view that Rangers had gone to the wall and that there was no point in flogging a dead horse. However I did not figure on the lie of Continuation having traction and SMSM critical mass. The Continuation Lie underpins the ‘We are The People Supremacy‘ at Ibrox.

This supremacy is however built on the sand of tax evasion and a myth that has been exposed time and time again in the highest courts in Scotland. Rangers Lite are not the club formed in 1872 which was incorporated in 1899. If Third Lanark was rejuvenated and chose to play at Ibrox in light blue, could they make a cogent claim for the history of Rangers?

The idea is preposterous. Scottish Football was fine when the new club was in the  wilderness. There was a better distribution of titles and higher attendances. The insidious influence of the gaming industry was not a factor in what many will look back upon as The Halcyon Days of Scottish Football. Four seasons when the odious Sectarian bile had a smaller platform.

However if a picture can really convey a thousand words, have a look at the following:

This is the table that was designated for Rangers Lite at the PFA Scotland Awards Ceremony. No player from Lite won an award. No member of the concert party carpetbagging board put in an appearance. No member of Caixhina’s management team deemed it worthy of their time to show their support of the best performers in the Scottish game.

During ‘The Journey’ we were led to believe that the new club would make friends along the way. All they did was appal a new audience. If the PFA Scotland Awards are indicative, Rangers Lite are largely irrelevant.

Stay Classy

“The Club’s Directors are fully aware of the disgust felt by Rangers supporters who were subjected to a sickening and shameful display of outright sectarian hatred towards them.We also share the fans’ anger and will be contacting Club 1872 as a matter of urgency.”

“Celtic will not become involved in a tit for tat spat regarding all events at Celtic Park on Saturday. We will deal with all issues arising in a proper and professional manner in line with our well established policies. Saturday was a fantastic event for the club and our fans worldwide. We thank the overwhelming majority of our supporters for the positive backing they gave to the team and for making this such a great occasion.”

Take a long hard look at the photograph of Brendan Rodgers in Barcelona. It’s an image that Stephen Kerr and Mangetout Traynor don’t want you to see. Level 5 have been spinning so vigorously and single-mindedly at their Blythswood Square velodrome that they are still in their dress down Friday lycra shorts. The rumours that shares in Dunkin Donuts dropped in early afternoon trading remain unconfirmed.

Let’s take a cursory glance at the Level 5  in-tray :

  1. Dave King, the career criminal, was nowhere to be seen when the penny finally dropped on the Ibrox faithful that he had sold them a couple of old nags and Trigger’s broom.
  2. Rangers were ‘horsed’ so comprehensively that the honeymoon with Warburton is well and truly over. The fans have called the Banker of America and unequivocally stated: No Surrender and No deal.
  3. The No Surrender  party song’ was relayed to a global family audience.
  4. Some supporters from the minimalist school of interior design chose an homage to Dresden motif when re-appointing the Celtic park water closets.
  5. Celtic are playing a glamour game in The Champions League.

 

Number 5 on the list is bread and butter to any PR company worth its salt. Serving some appetising canapes of spin to the slavering SMSM smurfs can usually derail the pro-CFC  agenda for just long enough for some post prandial Schadenfreude. Chris Union Jack, Martin ‘Engine-Room Subsidiary’ Williams and Matt Lindsay were reminded of how important the Parks advertising account is to The Herald Group. They were immediately pressed into action:

Image result for Papa Abraham

Chris Jack, at the back of the photograph, who is checking for a 5 o’clock shadow at 9 p.m. was fed the appropriate image and we’re off and running on a fully blown S&M Sectarian scandal:

This is Celtic Park in 2016. What kind of image did this convey to a global family audience? Are the imbeciles who came up with this stunt proud of their handiwork? The rubber dolls were probably not even noticed by the Rangers support. The outrage came later. This was manna from heaven for Level 5.

The Rangers board, who have been barred from The Horseshoe and are now drinking in the Nag’s Head, have decided to give themselves a good talking to. James Blair, secretary of RIFC is going to have a tea, no biscuits, meeting with Club 1872 Consigliere, James Blair. Is he going to make himself an offer that he cannot refuse? I referred to a frosty city meeting in deference to our Bay City Trader, Woody Warburton.

When I think of the Rangers board and their preferred narrative diatribes, my thoughts turn to Anchorman and Team 4:

Image result for image of broadcast news, stay classy san diego

In the photo, taken during Movember, Paul Murray is anchor and Stewart Robertson is an SFA roving reporter.Dave ‘all hat no cattle’ King is in the background as is Je Suis Graham, who is writing some copy with one of Craig Whyte’s old flames, Tits-Up McGee.  Paul, who has overseen a remarkable increase of 60% in salaries at Rangers susidiary Garrion Security, despite the exceptional costs of the Commonwealth Games not in any way impacting the 2015 accounts, is also fond of a chat with James Blair, who is also on this board. The conveyancing solicitor is as ubiquitous as mirrors in Paul’s well-appointed house:

Image result for image of ron burgundy in mirror

Paul is a little more phlegmatic about the blow-up dolls at Celtic Park. He instinctively reaches for some homespun philosophy:

Image result for image of ron burgundy in mirror

 

The last word goes to Ron Burgundy who would like to remind all readers to Stay Classy on the John James site where playing the man is outlawed.

Image result for image of broadcast news, stay classy san diego
Stay Classy John James World