Game Theory

As my learned friend packs away his horsehair wig for another week one’s thoughts return to Scottish football. Even after only 11 outings a top four has been established with a five point gap to Motherwell in fifth place. The fourth best team have a training ground romp against Hamilton tomorrow. They will score four against the rabbits in the headlights as they are deafened by the incessant sectarian soundtrack. The street cleaners in Dundee will be wearing extra thick marigold gloves as the street defecating Klan arrive on Friday to bag another three points to cut the gap at the top to three points or less should Celtic stumble in Dingwall. Celtic have more pressing things on their mind next weekend as they prepare for what they hope will be the first leg in a treble.

If one took a snapshot after the Dundee doing, one might believe that the title will be a close fought matter. One might tentatively make some enquiries about a helicopter. Allow me to disabuse you of this notion. As we saw in Pittodrie Celtic are in a league of their own.

The remainder of the season will play out as follows. Aberdeen will take a minimum of four points in the back-to-back games with Lite. If McInnes fancies having a go in Govan’s Satanic Cathedral he will secure all six points. Lite will be put in their place and can pack away their title delusions for another season as Celtic power to seven in a row. Eight-in-a-row will take their league title tally to 50. If they go to 12-in-a row they will better former club Rangers record as one of the extinct club’s 54 titles was shared with Dumbarton. One more successive title will confirm that Celtic is the best club to have ever played in Scottish football. Rangers will be a distant memory. Lite will be fortunate to survive.

Gullibilly On Mastermind – Q: What will Rangers Lite win this season?  I’ll have to hurry you… A: Pass

So what can Lite fans look forward to? Anti-Irish/Catholic invective which is an intrinsic part of the matchday experience at the Sectarian Speakeasy? A run to the Scottish Cup Semi-Finals courtesy of home ties provided by their bent friends at the SFA? Laying a glove on Celtic in the three remaining league fixtures, or is likely four in their Scottish Cup semi-final meeting? The SFA will go out of their way to keep them apart. The last thing they need is another showpiece final being ruined by a Lite riot as Celtic wipe the floor with them. The Klan would begin the social unrest at 0-3 and aspire to have the final abandoned. Alves and Jack would be sent off for savage assaults on Tierney and Brown, only to have their red cards rescinded by a Lite-facing judicial panel who swing the lead.

Scottish football is easy to predict. There are no stochastic variables. The SFA are bent to the point where they freeze the draw ball of Rangers. Lite must be given every assistance to have a deep run in the cup. British Virgin Island tax-evading loans can only go so far.

Ceteris Paribus Celtic will win another treble. Aberdeen and Hibs will vie for second place. Hearts will slip into the ignominy of the lower six after the split. Dundee United, backed by U$ capital will be promoted, leapfrogging Dundee who are destined for the second tier.

Should I include honest mistakes from Agent Orange Bobby Madden in my stochastic variables? Not if Celtic continue to score 3/4 goals in every game. One would need cheating of Dallas proportions to check Celtic’s progress.

The real fun and games will be off the park. If Bannatyne defies the City watchdog to play to the Freemason gallery, merry hell including an appeal will break out. The Faculty of Advocates will take a dim view and impose their own inimitable version of The Cold Shoulder. It’s worth noting that Bannatyne has a caveat in the wording of the law which states that one may order King to comply.

If King loses will he risk more BVI funds? Absolutely not. He will appeal while looking for a golden parachute for his equity, £2.8m loan to date and the quantum required to make payroll this month. If Sir Bribe & Lie does not buy the debt, using other people’s money, Lite will go under.

You could bet your mortgage on Celtic winning their seventh successive title. Would you risk a red cent on Lite being around to see it?



The Judiciary In The Dock

I published The Curious Case Of The Missing Missive on the third of NovemberWhat passes for the media in Scotland were told twelve days ago that there would be a procedural hearing in The Court of Session on the fifteenth. Despite BBC Scotland EBT and STV hanging on my every word, only The Daily Mail sent a correspondent to court. I have been informed that the correspondents at the latter are my most avid readers. BBC EBT and STV made do with the Associated Press release. When the charges against Charles Green were in abeyance, I received the exclusive ‘heads up’ at 5 p.m. on a Friday evening. I naturally published this exclusive on our site and then passed it by direct Twitter message to Grant Russell. I suspected that the Freemasons at the BBC would spike it. Russell, with whom I liaised on Twitter, trusted my sources and went to print three hours later. I envisaged Russell as one of a new breed who were prepared to challenge the Rangers-facing shackles of editorial control. A new breed which includes Martin Hannan at The National. I have dealt with the Traverso Incident in jj passim. With Russell gone must we rely on Hannan and Ewing Grahame at The Times to take the SFA to task? The latter and I exchanged e-mails apropos my assertion that Broadfoot was the smoking gun behind his source. I found it surprising that my blogs are read word for word in all Scottish dailies and occasionally are covered in the English media, with a name check for my original collective noun (Continuation Jihadists) in The Guardian. They have evidently twigged that my sources are second to none.

However prior to getting to the main thrust of this piece I will take pause to bring one of Mr. Hannan’ articles to a wider audience. A cursory glance at his output could lead one to the conclusion that he is the press officer for Bute House. However, having paid The Independence Piper (my pet name for The National) he comes into his own when taking on the SFA. His article deserved more coverage than the 8,500 readers who want their reportage wrapped in SNP livery. Mr. Hannan wrote:

So far Regan has led such a charmed existence in the job you would think he must have been a sorcerer in a past life. Look at all the trouble that has happened in his time in charge since 2010 – the referees’ strike, the Rangers ‘armageddon’ (his word) in 2012 and subsequent controversy over the EBT tax avoidance issue which, whether they like it or not, has brought the SFA into disrepute.

The SFA was cleared of any blame for last year’s Scottish Cup Final post-match riot – for that is what it was – but then when you pick and pay the person to make the inquiry it is hardly going to be seen as independent, is it?

Regan is now on his third director of performance, and most pertinently for the ordinary football fan, the Scotland national side has failed yet again to qualify for a major finals.

He is lucky, because he is in charge at a time when there is no one of the calibre of former Celtic owner Fergus McCann to challenge his stewardship of the governing body of the sport in Scotland.

The proof that Regan should consider whether or not he should stay in the job has come with the latest farrago of nonsense over whether or not Scotland should continue to play its matches at Hampden Park.

The publicity last week over the decision of the SFA board to discuss not renewing their lease at Hampden struck me right away as just one big diversionary tactic to take people’s minds off the fact that our national side has yet again failed to qualify for a major finals.

Here’s one reason Regan might go – this lease story first surfaced in January, 2015, and here we are in November, 2017, with no deal done. That’s just an unacceptable delay.

No one, apart from managers, has ever fallen on their sword for the long run of failure to make the Euro or World Cup finals. And since the national team is a major part of the reason why the SFA exists, there really should be people within the game asking why the chief executive is still in his job.

That failure cannot be laid at Regan’s feet alone as he has only been in the job since 2011, and to be fair to him there are some things which he has done well. He did manage to get several key sponsorship deals and his promotion of a different approach to bringing on young players is a credit to him, but there is still the nagging problem that Scotland is under-achieving on the pitch.

I do not expect for one second any of the elected officials within the SFA to put their head above the parapet and say it is time for change. For one thing, who would get to replace them? No sane person would want this job at this time and until there’s a really suitable candidate then Regan is probably bullet-proof.

Except, that is, for this Hampden fiasco which could well be the undoing of Regan. For hard-pressed Scottish clubs in every league are aghast at the thought of internationals being played at Ibrox, Celtic Park and, heaven forfend, Murrayfield.

The argument I have heard from more than a few people is why should the two richest clubs in the country be given more money to host internationals? For unless Celtic and Rangers have agreed to waive all rentals – fat chance – they will become even richer.

As for football money being given to the Scottish Rugby Union, well even lovers of the oval ball game cannot see any sense in such a move. I can also confirm from experience that people on the West side of Edinburgh are totally fed up with the idea before it has even started.

The recent Scottish Football Supporters Association survey showed that a large percentage – 93 per cent in fact – wanted some independent oversight of the game in Scotland.

That independent scrutiny might now happen. For in pimping Scotland’s internationals to Murrayfield, Parkhead and Ibrox, Regan has caused all sorts of questions to be asked, and some series inquiries are on the way, including, I am told, questions in Parliament.

For a vast amount of public money was poured into the refurbishment of Hampden in the 1990s, including £30 million of Lottery cash. Does that have to be paid back if Hampden ceases to be the National Stadium? .

Will the SFA and SPFL have to move out of Hampden? Has anybody asked Queen’s Park what they think? What about the Hampden Sports Clinic? Or the Scottish Football Museum?

Is it just internationals or are cup semis and finals also up for touting? That would appear to be a logical conclusion if the lease is up.

What Regan is trying to do is to negotiate a better deal for the SFA in the next lease period by threatening to take his toys elsewhere. It’s a bluff and it’s time somebody called it.”

When two hundred Rangers Lite thugs took to the pitch at Hampden they were intent on violence. They just could not take the stark realisation that their team was inferior to Hibs. They still cannot take it as we saw when Hibs beat them at Ibrox. Hibs will probably rag-doll them at Easter Road. Has the penny dropped that the new club is not all that?

As for Hannan’s point in regard to the hammer of the SFA that was Fergus McCann, Peter Lawwell is by contrast a bitch on heat cocking a leg to the Govan bulldog. As we witnessed at the Celtic AGM, Lawwell is prepared to await the findings of the SFA compliance officer. Does he think we came down in the last shower? Does he think for one moment that the SFA’s appointed officer is going to throw the book at his line managers? This career-limiting decision would deserve pride of place in a parallel universe.

Which leads me to my central thesis. The four day trial that will debate whether the office of the Lord Advocate of Scotland acted with malice and dishonesty and is therefore not immune to be taken to task in law strikes at the very heart of the Scottish Judiciary.

David Whitehouse, whose tenacity reminds one of Fergus McCann, is putting the  Judiciary in the dock. From what we have gleaned from David Whitehouse’s missive, Phil Gormley, The Chief Constable of Scotland, should have his cheque book to hand. Jim Roberson was a Billy Boy in a china shop. Singing:

We’re up to our knees in Fenian blood surrender or you die, die, die”

to intimidate witnesses is unequivocally malicious. As I exclusively revealed yesterday, Police Scotland’s use of Betts’ testimony was dishonest. It’s a slam dunk.

But does Whitehouse believe that a Lord Ordinary will force the Lord Advocate to pony up his part of £14m should he find in favour of Whitehouse and Clark? 

The following is from Wikipedia:

The judiciary of Scotland are the judicial office holders who sit in the courts of Scotland and make decisions in both civil and criminal cases. Judges make sure that cases and verdicts are within the parameters set by Scots law, and they must hand down appropriate judgments and sentences. Judicial independence is guaranteed in law, with a legal duty on Scottish Ministers, the Lord Advocate and the Members of the Scottish Parliament to uphold judicial independence, and barring them from influencing the judges through any form of special access.”

Whitehouse has one key card to play. When Keegan briefed the press that other indictments would follow those that were in tempore abeyance, it could be argued that he acted with malice. If Keegan did not disclose his suspension from not holding any executive office for three years to The Faculty of Advocates when he took silk does it not follow that the Crown’s prosecutor is dishonest?

There will be little change from yet another million pounds when Keegan and Robertson are in the dock. It will be interesting to see whether James Wolffe and Phil Gormley conspire to pay Whitehouse and Clark to go away. I would be inordinately surprised if Whitehouse settles. He has Keegan and Roberson’s heads in a vice. He will keep turning until their eyes bleed.

Unlike Regan, Whitehouse is not bluffing.



Malicious & Dishonest

What was anticipated as the biggest fraud trial Scotland had ever seen began to unravel when messrs Keegan and Robertson were given the levers of state. The former, Jim Keegan, who had been disqualified as a director for fraudulent trading, should have been nowhere near a case of alleged economic crime. Keegan was almost sent down for contempt of court. By briefing the press that other charges would be prosecuted against those indicted, Keegan was clearly in contempt. He sent his deputy into bat for him. He was so incompetent that he was eventually replaced. As per David Whitehouse’s assertion, jj passim: The Curious Case of The Missing Missive, did Keegan take silk and not disclose his nefarious past?

Jim Robertson, who was a sergeant flatfoot working a beat, was suddenly elevated to the rank of Detective Inspector and assigned to Police Scotland’s Economic Crime Unit. A crime unit where he effectively ran the show as his line superior was working full-time on integrating what was once Scotland’s biggest police force, Strathclyde Police, into the Scottish Executive’s new model for policing, viz Police Scotland. Robertson had no grounding or training in economic crime. He was wont to sing ‘The Billy Boys‘ to intimidate witnesses. When Imram Ahmad stated that he would not get a fair trial in Scotland he was referring to Jim Robertson and his fellow ‘Billy Boys.’ He need not have gone into exile. As Charles Green confided to me, Robertson and his team made the Keystone Cops look like consummate professionals.

Robertson is an avid devotee of the gay Rangers site, Follow Follow. Jim Traynor is known to post comments on this site under an alias. Traynor was working for King, posting information that King had acquired for £25,000 from hacker William Stevenson.

Any prosecution of Stevenson would have led directly to the door of King and his factotum Traynor. In an abnegation of his responsibilities as a Detective Inspector, and de facto leader of the Economic Crime Unit, Robertson let his Rangersitis get the better of him and duly chose not to prosecute all three, despite Stevenson being caught bang to rights. COPFS dropped all charges. This was a mind-numbing Rangers-facing decision.

Robertson was pursuing a case that was predicated on Traynor’s Charlotte Fakeovers leaks on Twitter, and Follow Follow. He even travelled to Johannesburg to meet up with his hero King and gain access to his farrago of hacked data. King was trying to undermine Green by linking him to White. King, with Captain Incorrigible Richard Gloryhole Gough, were pursuing a course where Rangers supporters would send their season ticket money to an escrow account which he would then use to bartar his way to Chairman. To achieve this audacious goal he had to discredit the incumbent regime.

When Robertson and his team of Keystone Cops had swallowed King’s bait, he sat back and laughed his arse off as Police Scotland rag-dolled Green and his co-accused.

King, and those who assisted him, should be charged with perverting the course of justice. Was Murray King’s bag man?  Almost certainly.  King, Murray and Traynor should all be indicted.

Our learned friend in Edinburgh has been in touch. He has provided the following:

David Whitehouse’s case against the Lord Advocate et al was to be heard in Edinburgh tomorrow by Lady Wolffe. Isn’t the Lord Advocate called Lord Wolffe or James Wolffe QC to his intimates? Guess who’s he’s married to – Lady Sarah Wolffe!

Presumably some moronic clerk when allocating the cases didn’t join the dots. Just in time the baton has now been passed to Lady Wise. Had the clash not been noticed, Whitehouse, the very busy Managing Director of Duff & Phelps Manchester office, would have turned up in Edinburgh and the case would been adjourned until a new judge could be allocated.

This is the Scottish legal system at its finest.

Mr Whitehouse is seeking Summary Decree on the grounds that the police have failed to provide any substantial evidence to counter his claim that their actions were malicious and dishonest.

The Lord Advocate is claiming immunity for him and his minions but Whitehouse is seeking legal debate that immunity is forfeited when the prosecution was seen to be malicious and dishonest. The Crown will always argue they acted in good faith but Whitehouse & Co’s legal team will present reams of evidence that this is not the case.

Whitehouse will also claim that the police relied on statements taken from former Rangers director Phil Betts. Yet it appears that of the 13 statements Betts gave,  not one of them mentioned David Whitehouse. HMRC have made it clear that Betts lied to them when he claimed that he had no knowledge of the infamous Ticketus deal yet still the police relied on him to condemn Whitehouse.

If Lady Wise finds in Whitehouse’s favour tomorrow it then all boils down to how much compensation he gets. If it goes against him then we are looking at a full trial next year. There is a January slot that could accommodate a four day trial.”

Other sites deal in speculation. Some of them are cryptic and creatively phrased. This site provides real insights and exclusives. The Sitonfence Speakeasy is widely read in chambers.

COPFS & Police Scotland Takedown

LADY WOLFFE – D Bowie, Clerk

Wednesday 15th November

A295/16 David Whitehouse v Liam Murphy & c…

Liam Murphy is one of two Procurator Fiscals who run COPFS (the other being Anthony McGeehan). The redoubtable Mr. Whitehouse is pursuing a petition for £9m in damages. Mr. Murphy ultimately gave fake QC  Keegan and Keystone Cop Robertson licence to execute a dawn raid and illegally prosecute a warrant where documents not germane to Whitehouse’s indictment were seized. These documents were bound by legal privilege. Robertson, who was wont to sing The Billy Boys (are Police Scotland a.k.a. The Billy Boys?) to intimidate witnesses, also arrested Whitehouse.

Having squandered millions in pursuing a wild goose chase, which this site exclusively covered in depth, COPFS & Police Scotland are now staring down the barrel at £9m and costs. Paul Clark is pursuing £5m and costs from both parties. David Grier is pursuing Police Scotland for £2m. I refer readers to my exclusive, jj passim : The Curious Case of the Missing Missive. This is readily accessed by scrolling down to this entry of 3rd November.

The dawn raid arrest of David Whitehouse. Note the presence of the press. One wonders who tipped them off Mr. Robertson?


Will Charles Green, whose defense cost circa £400,000, also go into bat? Should all three hearings go against the Crown, there will not be much change out of £17m. This is in addition to the eight-figure quantum wasted in police and crown resources in chasing their own tails. If Robertson was so keen to pursue the real culprit behind his club’s demise I would have directed him to Sir Bribe & Lie. However Robertson called in some favours to have me silenced. He did not want everyone to know that he was a hairy-arsed flatfoot who had no training or understanding of economic crime and the English legal concept of client privilege.

Robertson was a Billy Boy in a china shop and it’s now time that he ponied up for breakages.

It would be helpful if James Doleman attended and was allowed to engage in live tweets. The SFM – still asking questions that no-one is prepared to answer – like to style themselves as an offshoot of The Rangers Tax Case blogger. However it was instructive to note that the Orwell Prize winner did not mention any of the members of this old men’s club by name when giving thanks. They will no doubt send a representative who will tell us nothing. One might ask what is the point and extend this question to include the SFM.

I have sources who will give me a heads up. Watch this space.

Always Crashing In The Same Car

Every chance,
every chance that Rangers Lite take
To take their journey on the road
Those kilometres and the red hands
They were always looking left and right
Oh, but Lite are always crashing
in the same car

Lite I saw you peeping
As Celtic pushed their foot down to the floor
They were going round and round their hotel garage
Must have been touching close to ten-in-a row
Oh, but Lite are always crashing
in the same car

With apologies to the late and imperious David Bowie, I have bastardised his lyrics to introduce this piece which is derived from a podcast in which David Low opined on the financial turpitude at Rangers Lite.

David is one of the unsung heroes of the renascence of Celtic in 1994. Celtic were in a precarious state and were being run by men of little means. Also unknown to many was Brian Dempsey’s brilliant PR campaign run by Jack Irvine to drive out the Kelly/White factions from the board.

Mr. Irvine’s greatest triumph was thwarting the board’s madcap plan to leave Parkhead and move to Cambuslang. He produced reports showing the danger of birth defects to players and supporters; the chosen site was a toxic wasteland. The scene at the Celtic board was Shakespearean. The board were the witches of Macbeth, stirring a Cambuslang Cauldron of hubble, bubble and gaseous trouble.

This PR masterclass set Jack on the road to making millions. He is an occasional and most welcome contributor of his thoughts and insights to our site. He is a Rangers man without a bigoted bone in his body. One of the largely silent minority.

When David Low, an international financial analyst of some renown, was asked whether the ailing Lite body could be resuscitated by a Fergus McCann type intervention, he was quick to state that it would take a much more significant outlay than McCann put on the line. It would require a minimum of a sustainable five year plan. Names such as Jim McColl and Brian Kennedy are often ventured by the SMSM as prospective saviours, but both have turned down approaches from a well-coiffed factotum, one of which took place at Kennedy’s Manchester office as I exclusively revealed on this site. Jim McColl confided to Deloitte that he ‘had dodged a bullet‘ when rebuffing Murray.

One of the urban myths that have arisen apropos the Takeover Panel’s petition is that Lord Bannantyne is mulling over their decision. This is not the case. He is merely deciding whether to enshrine King’s compliance in law, and the legal redress should he default.

One of the areas where the impending Cold Shoulder could stop play is in the issue of shares. David Low does not see this ‘get out of debt free card’ coming to pass. It’s an omnishambles wrapped in a clusterfuck.

The Gullibillies will be seduced by new names in the dugout but they still won’t land a telling punch on Celtic. If truth be told the only danger to Celtic comes from within. However Rodgers will be quick to nip complacency in the bud.

There is going to be a debt heist in December with Sir Bribe & Lie appearing on a borrowed white horse and saddle. He misses the sexual and business opportunities that were once within his gift at Rangers.

This is what Rangers Lite have become. A lame excuse for an aging lothario to get his leg over.

Always crashing in the same car.


A Lifeboat On The Tay & Dutch Canals

Having commuted to the outskirts of Utrecht for the best part of a year from my digs in Amsterdam, I have an insider’s take on The Netherlands. I loved nothing more of a Friday than cycling to my local to meet up with a toke-smoking narcotics division police officer and a former colleague from Airdrie as we made our way to watch a band at the Milk Weig. Slightly the worst for wear we would meet our girlfriends and in the wee small hours we would all walk our bicycles back home via an undreground reggae club. In all the time I dated my Dutch girl she never ever wore a skirt or dress. The Dutch take gender equality seriously.

On Saturday lunch times we would reconvene to watch FC Utrecht at home and away, which is relatively easy in a country as compact as The Netherlands. I had a close look at Giovanni van Bronckhorst during his second spell as a player at Feyenoord. I remember the first occasion well as I was impaled by a dart that had made its way, in club colours, from the visiting fans enclosure.

I only saw Van Bronckhorst once as a manager when he led Feyenoord to win the 2015–16 KNVB Cup. Feyenoord defeated my adopted club Utrecht 2–1 in the final. In his second full season as first team coach, Van Bronckhorst won the Eredivisie title which was Feyenoord’s first in 18 years.

His third season has been inordinately problematic. Feyenoord have only won one of their last six games and are 12 points adrift of leaders PSV Eindhoven after 11 games. They have slumped to sixth position.

In the Champions league they have been thrashed 4-0 by Manchester City at home, outplayed by Napoli and well beaten home and away by Shakhtar Donetsk. Next up is Man City at The Etihad. If Feyenoord lose this tie as convincingly as they did at home, Van Bronckhorst won’t be in the dugout for the visit of Napoli. The writing is on the wall for Gio.

Has he tossed his hat into the ring at Ibrox? You can bet your last Euro on it. With just under two years left on his modest contract, Feyenoord would be easy to deal with. Lite would be doing them a favour by taking Gio off their books.

Any chance of a Tap Neil to get a monkey off my back?”

However a rumour that has grown arms and legs and is now running around Glasgow like Captain Incorrigible Richard Gough in a gloryhole frenzy is that Neil McCann EBT (£500,000) will be his number two. Van Bronckhorst has as yet never been linked to the EBT scandal. However with several names yet to be disclosed he may not be whiter than white, which is probably not politically correct given his Indonesian heritage.

The source of this exclusive news is a conversation that was overheard in a Glasgow restaurant where the barber’s model was holding court. Now Murray could be flying a kite for Slim Shady Traynor, but the idea of McCann as Gio’s number two is so left-field that it adds to the probability that this rumour is credible. No-one needs a lifeboat on the Tay more than McCann and should Van Bronkhorst navigate his way successfully through the canals he might chance the hazardous voyage across the North Sea to answer McCann’s Mayday.

The Gullibillies are tumescent at the news. The bombast and hubris has returned. Some are predicting that they will win the title this year. Have they been eating some cookies from a coffee shop in Gio’s homeland? Lite could hire Steve McLaren and Sam Allardyce as number one and two and still not lay a glove on Celtic.

By pinning their colours on McInnes, the SMSM, true to form, have cocked this up. If Chris Sutton had looked in on this site three weeks ago he would have been apprised of the prosaic fact that Lite did not have the wherewithal to engineer McInnes’ release. Big Fat Derek Johnstone, who Sutton described as a ‘charlatan and Rangers cheerleader’, was all over it like a Saturday evening run-through with his Pirelli calendar outtake. Jackson was hanging on Stephen Kerr’s every word. The Sunday Post got in on the act when their Beechgrove Garden correspondent read Jackson’s copy and duly plagiarised it. They were all wrong.

Sutton is a curious breed. He is one of a band of former Celtic players, turned pundits, who seem to be suffering from a West Of Scotland ‘ Stockholm Hun Syndrome.’ It would seem that the more they criticise their former employers the more their stock rises in blue pounds. Sutton rag-dolled Ronny Delia relentlessly. Delia might not have been ‘all that‘ but he did not need Sutton’s monkey on his back. Should Vålerenga ever make the CL qualifiers and face Celtic, Sutton will be less than welcome in the visitor’s dressing room.

No-one sums up this malaise more than Andy Walker. As Dermot Desmond would say ‘Are you a Rangers supporter?’ Walker takes his sycophancy towards Lite to a new paradigm. Is he a victim of editorial control or an unabashed Hun? Walker gave Sutton such a good run for his money in his rag-dolling of Delia that Scott Brown opined:

“Andy Walker is a poor man’s Gary Neville. He does my fucking box in.”

Someone who has recently got into the act is none other than Tony Cascarino. He has the name of a Latin-American professional dancer, and seemed to be moonlighting minus the sequins at Celtic Park. I’m sure he could do a passable Paso Doble, but he could only find the onion bag on four of his twenty starts. He was no ‘Ballroom Blitz.’

As Celtic set a new British record, Cascarino did his utmost to pour his sour grapes all over The History Bhoys. After he flopped at Celtic, he was a dud at Chelsea, Marseille and AS Nancy. He retired seventeen years ago. Is he trying to make his name as a prospective Scottish pundit?  Does he have any history of tax-evasion? If not he need not apply to BBC Scotland EBT.

However he might find a Celtic-hating habitat at Radio Clyde where Hugh Keevins, who started life as a Celtic man, has overcompensated to the point of being one of their harshest critics. Giving Celtic a verbal caning is good radio box office in Clydebank.

I wonder how Gio and Neil, if the rumour holds true, will fare in the media? Will rose petals be initially strewn in their path, or will the invective be as barbed as the wire being rolled out as they discover Caixinha’s squad stinks to high heaven?





Scamspotting & Cover-Ups

I invite readers to revisit jj passim Come Fly With Me where i outline my unshakable conviction that there is a cabal of hard-line Masonic Lite supporters in positions of influence at BBC Scotland EBT. Some of them have clambered up the greasy pole to Editorial positions. I contend that there is a causal link between their ascendancy to further enlightenment’ at the Freemasons and the degree of their climb at BBC EBT. The old policy of only hiring non-Catholics may be officially prohibited by law but still continues to this day in a much more clandestine fashion than was the case in yesteryear. One editor was recently heard remark ” When the fuck did we start hiring Taigs?”

BBC Scotland EBT dodged a bullet in 2014. If the Yes vote had prevailed, Salmond would have razed them to the ground for their pro-Union stance. The cabal saw off the threat. The bigots control everything from the Milk Round to the finished product. Catholics at BBC Scotland EBT have the demeanour of foxes at a fifty horse hunt. Let’s refer to them as The Freemason Fifty if you will.

At this juncture one’s thoughts turn to BBC EBT’s intrepid investigative correspondent Mark Daly, who in his vigour to tar Celtic with the same tax-evading brush as the former Rangers, had the audacity to doorstep Dermot Desmond outside Celtic Park on his way to the CL game with Bayern Munich. Executive decisions made by a former company in which Desmond had a legal interest were conflated with Celtic FC prior to one of their biggest games of the season. Daly could have doorstepped Desmond anywhere and would have had more time to quiz him at Glasgow Airport. However his editor thought otherwise. Daly’s editor evidently thought ‘let’s stick it to Celtic.’

I have noticed on a variety of noticeboards, including our very own Sitonfence Speakeasy, a tendency by those on the back foot apropos Rangers cheating to engage in ‘whataboutery‘ in regard to Celtic. An early attempt was made when the Eclipse film production company was exposed as a vehicle for aggressive tax avoidance. This fell over when I exposed their entire list of clients which included some high-profile former Rangers employees, including Walter Smith. The Cardigan, when not threatening match officials with so much mucus-filled invective that he was a meningitis threat, was quite adept at tax efficacy, especially when he was in receipt of an EBT bung. The prosaic fact of the matter was that Celtic players, having had their salaries docked for PAYE and NI at source, were at liberty to do anything they desired to offset liabilities in their yearly tax returns where boot deals and sponsorships are subject to scrutiny.

We then had a real moon-howler from Govania, who was exposed as a housing benefit cheat, attempting to make a case that Celtic had received a preferential rate for purchases of land parcels from Dumbartonshire and Glasgow City Councils. Mr. Stevens’ thesis was built on sand. He was exposed as a fraud.

When all else fails, The Klan revert to ‘tax-fiddling is better than kiddy fiddling.’ When I’m exposed to this odious anecdote my thoughts inexorably turn to the equally odious McCanns, not Jim Torbett. I can play the  ‘whataboutery’ game just as good as any when I look back at Captain Incorrigible Richard Gough and his penchant for rent boys. Gough spent so much time in the glory holes of St Vincent Street toilets that innocent customers could have mistaken him for an attendant. Or was he just engaging in ‘I-Spy‘ and coming up with the letter ‘D‘ more often than not?

I digress. The concerted campaign to have a go at Celtic is coming from the top of BBC EBT. There is also an equally sinister policy to look the other way as the latest scandal at Ibrox breaks cover.

Daly was told to drop his investigation into what could be euphemistically described as uncharitable malfeasance. He and his team were told in no uncertain terms that if he went to post production in exposing a charities fraud at Rangers his name and address would be leaked to the Govania moon-howlers. Intimidation seems to be rife at BBC Scotland EBT.

I’m indebted to @Corsica68 (C68) who persisted with the narrative. He and the late Paul McConville are my sources for an interesting piece of investigative journalism. In a nutshell C68 asserts that the charity match between a Rangers select and AC Milan Glorie resulted in the following:

Total income was split as follows:

Rangers Charity Foundation – management fee £25,000 (4.45%)

Rangers Charity Foundation – profit share £38,286 (6.82%)

AC Milan Glorie – profit share £100,000 (17.81%)

The Rangers Football Club plc (in administration) – costs £153,637 (27.36%)

The Rangers Football Club plc (in administration) – profit share £244,574 (43.56%)

Total £561,497 (100%)

However, this synopsis is not entirely accurate. When C68 perused the accounts of the Rangers Charity Foundation it’s evident that they did not receive their share of the profits (£38,286) from the administrators and the management fee that they were due was written off against monies they owed to the football club. C68’s summary of the malfeasance is inordinately damning:

So what we have here is a football club taking a whopping 82% (£461,497) of the income from a charity game and retaining it for its own use. That does of course include costs, but strip these out and the picture is no less rosy; 74% of the money that should have gone to charity from that single game (£282,860) actually ended up in the coffers of a morally, ethically and financially bankrupt football club.”

One can but assume that this red flag from social media resonated in the darkest recesses of the SMSM, but the blanket cover-up held firm. However complaints were made to the Office of the Scottish Charity Regulator (OSCR). They eventually arrived at the following conclusions which were articulated in their report’s executive summary:

OSCR found that the Charity’s decision-making process which allowed important decisions to be made by one trustee acting alone was in breach of trustees’ duties and constituted misconduct on the part of the charity trustees as a whole.

• OSCR also found that the way the decision regarding the fundraising event was taken did not comply with the requirements of the Charity’s Trust Deed.

• OSCR identified that issues of conflict of interest inherent in the Charity’s structure had not been appropriately dealt with.

So what we have here is misconduct, non-compliance and a conflict of interest. However flying in the face of the facts was the following missive from Rangers Lite CEO Craig Mather to soothe Gullibilly brows:

This match took place during an unprecedented time for Rangers Football Club and we are delighted that OSCR concluded that the decision to assign proceeds to both the Club and the Charity Foundation was done ‘in good faith and in the interests of the Charity given the risk that otherwise the event may not have taken place, in which case the Charity would have received no benefit at all’.

All’s well that ends well? Was Good Faith gambolling around Govania like a spring lamb? Not quite. C68 ramped up his investigation to debunk the rose-tinted perspective of the redoubtable Mr. Mather. C68 wrote:

Look at the numbers at the top of the page. Ms Gourlay handed over £250,000 in return for a management fee of £25,000 and a 10% share of profits knowing full well that neither would be paid to the charity because it was completely illegal without express permission from the courts. Not only that but she didn’t even consider getting legal advice. So she is either immensely dense and staggeringly incompetent when it comes to charity law and trustee responsibilities (in which case the first call she should have made was to Turcan Connell) or she knew full well what she was doing and why she was doing it.”

“Good faith”, my arse.”

The following statement from Ms Gourlay, takes the biscuit. Club Orange anyone?

The date of the decision to assign the event was, unfortunately, not formally recorded but was made on or about 21 February 2012.”

It would be interesting to ask Ms Gourlay how instrumental she was in the agreement to assign the Foundation’s interest. This was announced thus:

The Rangers Charity Foundation suggested the club should now benefit from the match and we were delighted that the AC Milan Foundation agreed.” 

Did AC Milan swallow their costs and fee? There was also a charity dinner that raised £70,000 that was also siphoned off from the charitable foundation to the football club. When it comes to Rangers charity truly begins at home.

This was a fraud followed by a badly-conceived cover-up. One would have expected an enterprising investigative journalist such as Mark Daly to be all over it. However he was told to walk away or walk with a limp after an encounter of The Klan kind.

He put his best foot forward when doorstepping Desmond. It was almost certainly his right foot as the left foot is an endangered species at BBC Scotland EBT.